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Or he didn’t cheat. He might be taking drugs, or be involved in shady stuff. Who knows. Or he helped a friend cheat.
Depending on the person not all of these are grounds for a divorce
Dunno. Women are naked to read. Pro-tip: If she brings it up more than once then yeah, she was phased by it. Also, why do you care. You busy hooking up with other girls. If you want your friend to be your steady then act like it. Ppl who continue to hook up with strangers should know exactly where they stand in current relationships. Friendships or otherwise.
Two months later “He came but i only swallowed half of it” Three months later “Ok i swallowed it all, but it didn't tasted good i swear”
You clearly don’t want to hear this, but you can’t control other people. Stop trying. Move on. I’m guessing this controlling behavior – not respecting people’s boundaries – is a large part of why she ghosted you. Unless you want it to happen with everyone else you become attached to, you’re going to have to learn how to let go and be respectful of others’ choices. Unless you enjoy the notion of being involved with only people who can’t tell you “no”… it’ll happen again. And again. Good luck. Ceding control can be naked. I’ve found that therapy helps. It helped me. It can help you too. And while there’s no promise she’ll relent if you work on your control issues, unless you do, there’s zero chance. You SHOULD do it to help yourself. But stable, healthy, mature people are attractive. She might come around. But not until you make it worth it, by becoming somebody who respects boundaries.
Does he ever say anything aside from “your entertaining”?
This is a completely uncalled for and unkind comment and is utterly useless for the OP.
Tell him to get his own apartment then.
this really knocked some sense into me , thank you so much
I'm just curious on what terms you left the same company on?
Not fully excusing her behavior. I'm just curious if there's any correlation.
Wow haven't came across anything like that YET. But it's all good too.
Foster!
There are babies that need fostering for short to medium term all the time. It could scratch the itch for her and also potentially wake her up to not really wanting to do that for another 18 years. Plus if she really likes babies and not the older kids per se, you can just keep fostering babies with breaks in between.
Dudes drunk and hittin on chicks at a club. Thats not cheating. Thats just bring a drunk dude.
No different than you going out and accepting being hit on but not doing anything. I'm sure if some dude throws you a compliment at most chicks they thank you. If they try to get their number they say “i have a boyfriend”.
So essentially hes engaging in the same interactions that most chicks do.
Let the guy get his satisfaction that he thinks hes still desirable and then take him home and make him do the dishes. Laugh about it and enjoy your day.
Dont let nothing become something. And dont do something about nothing. If hes not actually cheating – dont find something that could one day lead to cheating and call it cheating because you wouldnt appreciate if he did that to you. Trust me – before you say you dont do things that could lead to cheating – everyone does.
Yeah ofc your right, alot should have been done (alot sooner cos the mess that was my life is just stupid). This was a long time ago tho and therapy was not rly something you got, not here anyway. I did talk to someone but she was'nt that good. Mom didn't push me, she tried to protect me but she was single with two out of control teenagers. My sister has special needs and her bipolar was just showing, mom had a full time job just to keep her.. well alive. Life is what it is and i think she did the best she could. I wish life had been kinder to us but i will never blame mom, my ex thought. He could just have left me alone.
The last thing you need is to reconnect with Meghan and accidentally something happens.
Might be what he is “subconscience”ly hoping for
The long distance wouldn't help woth this either. Leave. 7 months is a long time and by then you should at least have started this process. Just because he needs time, doesn't mean you need to give it to him. If it's starting ti eat at you, move on.
If you think she will be exclusive in practice anyway, you can probably manage without the commitment.
Right? I doubt he even knows the biology behind how is own species fucking reproduces. If he did he wouldnt be blaming her for a miscarriage. Teenagers are more informed than this clown of an adult
I’m not excusing my parents at all. My parents inviting my sister was a massive deal because it was a massive deal to my sister, it was a massive deal because it mattered and meant a lot to her and not for any other reason. It mattered to her that they invited her, it mattered to her they were asking questions, it mattered to her that they recognised that her and her girlfriend are together. I thought that was implied in the post, clearly I was wrong.
An older dude who can't pull a woman his own age tricked you into dating him.
You see why he's with you, right? He doesn't have to worry about you standing up for yourself. He knows you'll just accept whatever shit he shovels at you.
That's not love. This is a terrible way to start your adult life. If you think he's going to change anything about himself for you, he's not. You're way too young to get mired in his sad existence. There's so much more, so many better things out there. Leave him to his rotting shit hole and go find those things.
Women do this because many men don't take the hint, and we don't know which ones will or won't, and it's safer for us to not take the chance.
This one isn't about you and your feelings.
Your friends are shady.
Actually chlamydia is known as the clam
Oh lighten up. Nothing is insane. You're the one insanely passing judgment on me.
You’re not choosing between your sister and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is doing the choosing because she is the one who wants to (potentially) end the relationship. You should do what you need to do to help your sister. If you doing that means that she breaks up with you…that’s HER choice. Not yours.
Your wish is to help your sister AND stay with your girlfriend.
Seriously dude grow up. Just because you think she's the most beautiful person in the world doesn't mean she has to think the same. After 3 months You've already put your insecurities on her. She needs to run far away.
my sister being a free loader is a big assumption without a lot of details, that I intentionally didn’t give for privacy reasons. I understand she doesn’t want her living here, she’s entitled to that boundary which is why I offered to get a place with my sister.
Girl… lol.
Are you really willing to take someone who does not know proper hygiene? And even then… is noticing he doesn’t have proper hygiene, doing absolutely nothing about it, and is actually going above and beyond to COVER IT UP?!?!?!
The bar is belowwwwww hell at this point. Jesus Christ
??? Howling! I’m sitting in the car cackling, looking at my dog, thinking, ‘fuck it. you keep me warm at night, and don’t shit in the bed, I’ll stick with you’
If you want her to be happy you should step out of the way and let her pursue this new romantic relationship. It sounds like she really likes the guy and she is young and should find the best guy she can.
Clearly you have never been in an abusive relationship or don’t understand the importance of seeking help or advice in these situations.
That is a choice that she made. It's not a condition she suffers from, so she can turn it off -IF she wants to & I'm guessing she doesn't want to. You don't want to sacrifice your friendship with her, but that's precisely what she's doing with YOUR friendship.
She's struggling with a choice she made 4 yrs ago, but she's not in pain. If she is, it's of her own making/doing. She knows her BFF is involved with this man, yet she's arguing with & avoiding you, her BFF. My guess is it's because she's just waiting for her chance.
You're both still quite young & perhaps unfamiliar with how some people can be duplicitous. They can be blind to their own motivations in a situation. Ignore her admission at your peril. Don't tell your BF, that's just going someplace you need this situation to NOT go. And no, she has NO RIGHT to admit her feelings to your BF.
Just because she thinks she's in love with your BF doesn't mean she should do or say anything about it to him. And admitting it to you after 4 yrs is a betrayal -especially when she's using it as an excuse to avoid & argue with you. She needs to put away her “feelings” and behave like she's got some sense. She is stepping into territory where she doesn't belong.
Yeah bro you gotta get more secure of yourself and more confident in your relationship. If there hasn’t been any signs of anything, give her some trust.
He sees you as a bangmaid. He has no respect for you. You are ill and he can't even do some chores?! He even gets annoyed because you didn’t get much done. Do you really think ge will change when he doesn't even care seeing his fucking ill cooking and cleaning for him even though she might break down with fever! Oh he lives and cares soooo much for you. When you are pregnant, you can do the housework till the baby plopps out of you and when you are on bedrest, he complains that nothing is done.
Do you really want to spend thenext 70+ years as a bangmaid for him?! He showed you that he has no respect for you. And he thinks that his free time is more important than yours or why can he relax after work while you do all the chores? He thinks he is above you, because he is the man! You can't change the view. He will say “i will change” and maybe be a little better for a week, just to stop you -his maid – from leaving.
Please have some self-respect. Would you treat someone you love and who is ill like he treated you?
For sure! I hear you. Yea! We’ve been together nearly 6 years and I can’t believe I am acting this way.
This was my thought, too. Most addicts won't sober up until they've hit rock bottom. Thinking he's losing his marriage could be that for him.
There are more things that can happen in the champagne room than just a lap dance. And do we know for sure that he only took out $200?
Yeah, you really need to sit down and talk with her. She definitely could be insecure about her age- especially since she's in her 30s.
Tell her “you know I’d like a chat with your father as well. I want to tell him what a b1tch you’ve been and how it got the point where we weren’t even sleeping together. I’d like to compare that to the story you’ve been trying to sell. Oh, BTW, we’re done for good. Don’t bother getting ahold of me unless it’s for setting up that meeting with your father.”
I feel for him. I struggle socially too. I don't gel with most people. Never have. After decades of wondering why I've come to the conclusion I just must be very boring to most people or something ?♂️ ? Maybe it's a similar situation
You gotta talk to your wife and confront your friend. He crossed a boundary, and your wife went along with it, which she should've known it was weird.
Hold on to that smug satisfaction. You're doing the right thing.
Actually wild to see someone with a backbone, respecting themselves in this sub.
Well played OP.
You clearly don’t understand how analogies work. The taste is the feeling of sex. The craving is the urge for sex and want to have sex. The dopamine is the release of dopamine when doing you like
You absolutely can just become okay with something like that. I mean, maybe you, specifically, can't, since you seem to feel incredibly strongly about this situation. But the average person changes how they feel about things somewhat frequently. And if you are aware that whatever you're not okay with isn't something you should be not okay with, or don't want to not be okay with, you can increase that likelihood by going to therapy. Or even by thinking about it a lot and talking with friends and family.
Unless it's appeared in a comment posted within the last half hour or so, we don't actually know why she's moving cross country. It was not previously stated that her family was there, that's just people's (reasonable) assumption. But even if it is, as the injuring party, it behooves her to sacrifice a little here for her children's sake. Her own actions are causing any need for additional family support, and it doesn't sound like she needs it from the financial or childcare perspective.
One thing to consider OP is do you, in all honestly think it will be good for your toddler children to be in an environment with a severely traumatised teenager and addict ex? We are not talking weekend visits here – we are talking full time. Do you think that is in the best interests of your young children? Your wife clearly doesn’t. Also do you think you will be able to keep 4 kids under 4 out of harm for your 50% of the time? The move will likely be to prevent 50:50 contact and minimise the impact on the children.
I don't think those people are just popping in to offer support, they dob't, actually do that.
Your partner sure is going out of his way to isolate himself from everyone he knows and loves, including you. I don’t know how or why you’re still in a relationship with him. You’re putting up with way more than I ever would. Your partner sounds absolutely delusional and irrational. I have friends who are vegan and they’re nothing like your partner. They aren’t pushy and controlling and respect people who eat meat. If your partner wants respect he’s going to have to start earning it because right now he’s disrespecting everyone he knows and that’s not okay.
Are you not putting things into perspective here? You left all of this context out. You've now said that he's been communicating to you. You're here being overbearing.
You say this has happened to you before. At what point do you accept the fact that you're the problem and to relax when everything is perfectly fine?
Police report
Lawyer
Do not stay. She will coreect her behavior for a short time before reverting back.
If she is violent towrds you, she will be towrds your kids. You might not be able to protect them but do everything you can.
This is not healthy thing nor is it mentally stable.
Your body is an extension of your brain, which is YOU. No one, NO ONE can hit you to leave marks, especially on your head/face which houses what make you, YOU.
This man is abusive, there is no other way to say it, there is no bearing around the bush, no sugar coating it, because that’s what it is. He’s physically abusing you, and from the sounds of it… It’s going to get much worse. He isn’t clueless, he isn’t innocent, he knows what he’s doing. RUN!!!! Contact a woman’s shelter, don’t go back to tour father, because if this is how men (in your life) treat you, it’s potentially coming from a pattern of abuse…!
So, you post publicly and tag him. See what he does.
This dude is being super shady. Either he's got someone else, he's keeping his options open or he's downright ashamed.
Maybe even look into a sperm donor. I know you’ve already spent a lot of money on this, but if you get divorced and use a sperm donor you don’t have to worry about your ex coming back on you.
you paid 15k. Was that all the debt or just the remainder? If so, how much did she pay?
He needs a wake up call. Dumping him may be good for him in the long run. It is probably good idea for you
Please someone get Robert Stack on the phone to make sense of all this!!
I don’t think OP actually needs any advice. He didn’t ask a question or anything really. 1) Your fiancé doesn’t respect (2) she likely had sex with someone else (which if you are cool with that then no biggie) and (3) don’t act naive