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  1. Can you provide specifics so that we can provide more pointed advice? I have general things I'll address later, but let's start with the December trip. I have to assume that the decision regarding the length of the trip was decided prior to the trip as opposed to some last minute decision made on a whim.

    As such, you insisted on staying longer (presumably for free with family) to save what's logically a significant amount of money, and spend the holidays with family. Why is that a problem? Wouldn't it be something that makes your families' happy? We again have no context, so maybe your families' are horrible, we don't know. You'll have to let us know. Does it impact his work? He wasn't happy, but he agreed. “Agree” is the key point.

    Regardless of his argument, it becomes a moot point when the decision is made. So why would you apologize? No one put a gun to his head. He could have pressed the issue and gotten his way. He gave in. He can't then just complain about it forever. I digress.

    When we get into the conflict, it not only becomes ridiculous but further highlights the financial issues you have as a couple. First, we're talking about assignments that we have to assume are important towards the future. To argue against that though, can you not do that/them while traveling? What would you wanting to do a good job bother him?

    I think this is where we really need to take a step back and you need to tell us what both of you envision the future to be; sole income from him? Dual income? These are conversations that should have happened long ago.

    I'd love to know that the “agreement” is? You describe it as just willing to travel on command. That's fine, but is he ready to support his wife? You have nothing to make amends for. You should have volunteered for the trip? No healthy relationship let alone marriage would ever be in this situation. But let's ignore that. He tells you he wants to travel somewhere. You confirm and go. Then what?

    Forget about apologies. Talk about expectations.

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