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Wait what? You would rather live in filth instead of cleanliness because of some hypothetical kidnapping scenario?
Your man sounds disgusting and you living with him and settling for these conditions will put you on the same plane as him. He’s dirty, can’t follow through on his goals (ex. Like buying broken cars and half assed fixing them), he’s financially irresponsible, and he has straight up told you that he thinks marriage with you is “dumb”.
You obviously made your decision and are not receptive to solid advice so why are you here? You made your bed, now sleep in it.
P
It kinda sounds like she is enjoying the friendship. And it's usually a bad idea to date a coworker, especially if you are her superior. Maybe you should spend less time with her for your own sanity?
This is your boyfriend's problem. He might have OCD or a smell sensitivity (though the latter is unlikely if he's using body spray). Basic skincare: fragrances are bad for it, washing too often is bad for it, not washing enough is bad for it. I would recommend speaking with your derm on these issues not your bf, and not us.
Your bf can't smell himself, so he assumes everyone else is the problem, but he's demanding you behave in a way that could make your skin worse. Body smells are not offensive in most cases. There's even research that shows body odor is partially responsible for sexual attraction. If you don't like his smell and he doesn't like yours, you might just not be compatible, but controlling people like your bf are rarely compatible with anyone who stands up for themselves. There are men who won't treat you like that, just so you know all your options.