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I want to but just feels wrong after the time been together and that . Even though I know we can't carry on in this relationship I find it so sad that things have ended up this way . I really though we was so good and this was it . Things seem to have changed slowly over time ,I've realised now we're only good now if I'm quite and agree with everything.
Idea you are wasting your time shouldn't even come into it, after 2 dates, if you still felt unsure what she wants in 6 months that's different. Why cant you can relax and enjoy now, get to know her and her you. Why would you push her to give up on you for the sake of being gf after 2 dates.
Have you consider making sure your ex knows his boundaries? If he refuses to obey then be rude or stay the hell away from him. This really could have been avoided. It seven seems you know how your ex was acting toward you, but didn't do anything about it. Yeah you can't really do anything.
Your body your choice applies to both of you. I totally get why you want him to get one, but if he doesn't then that's up to him.
If you still want to have sex, you could a combination of methods like condoms, tracking your cycle, spermicide, pulling out… Or if you'd rather not have sex at all, that's your choice too.
Damn y’all are braindead ?
Well… you know his position.
It’s either stripping or your relationship.
If you want to strip, that’s your right to do so.
If he doesn’t want to be with a stripper, his right to do so.
The ball is in your court and your choice to make.
Do you have any pets? If not I’d wait until you move because 6 kids suddenly arriving (including your twins) in a two small space is a bit much. But a dog (or two) would be good to help with cuddles and emotional therapy, let alone learning some responsibility. Maybe until you can bring a dog home, if you don’t have any pets yet, you and the older kids can volunteer at an animal shelter? They can play with the dogs and practice reading to them, you can start to get an idea what kind of dog you and they gravitate towards. There’s been some good articles about the positive effects on kids learning or struggling with reading and having them read to dogs at shelters. The dogs are happy for the attention, the kids aren’t judged if they read slowly or mess up- so that seems a fun way to spend an afternoon a week, at least with the older kids.
Thank you for your comment! It made me feel a tad better
You are over thinking a bit. Just make small talk. How was your day, anything interesting happen at work. I am excited for next week. Little nervous to be honest lol.
I really hope you're not in an alimony country. Imagine divorcing your wife because of fraud and then having to pay them alimony!
I don't think kids should be around you either. I'm actually worried for the future of your biological kid.
My advice is to explain it just like you did here. I'm sure it would hurt him at first, but at least he would have an opportunity to move on and find a partner that is worthy of a man that would fight for his kids
Thank you kind stranger for the award
Assuming it's an emergency, maybe you should have tried calling him first instead of texting? Some people can't express themselves well through text. Idk.
You fucked around and found out.
Check out the book “How to do the work”.
When I was struggling with similar things and too broke for therapy, it was a good starting point to start honestly reflecting about my issues.
You can do it. I don't even know you and I know you have it in you. You worked your ass off for those degrees, learned languages, travelled around the world.
It sounds like you are capable of WAYY more than you give yourself credit for.
Dude, respectfully, what the hell?
You violated her trust and she should rightly be angry about that. Now that the cat is out of the bag how do you feel about what you found? When you say “together,” were y'all in a relationship? Do you consider her texts and photos cheating?
Also, assuming this is fixable, do you have any plans to stop being her boss? This is totally inappropriate if you have any power over her so is there a way one of you can switch departments, teams, etc.?
What works for you is your normal. As long as you are both satisfied and feel like your needs are being met, why worry about it?
It's not really about what happened but how you can improve and keep it from happening again.
I think the most important question I have is what are you doing to help your mental health issues – are you in ongoing therapy and taking medication? If you’ve completed therapy, are you practising what has been taught and bettering yourself? What are you doing to take accountability for yourself?
I think it’s incredibly selfish to get involved with someone long term without being forthcoming about these things. I’m almost 7 years in my current relationship and I was up front with this information, having almost always been on medication and have sought professional help. He’s been there and supported my depressive episodes, manic episodes, he’s helped me overcome suicidal thoughts, self harm and drug abuse. I think if I’d have sprung this on him, he’d not have stuck around as long as he has. He had an idea of what he was signing up for, so to speak.
OP, that is the biggest red flag of this whole post.
You are paying your therapist for a reason, but if you're hiding something THIS HUGE from her, you're wasting your money. Instead of worrying “she'll tell me to leave him and that scares me”, reframe it and look at it as “she will give me the tools to acknowledge my self worth and how abusive he is.”
I know. I ask myself that a lot too. The thing is I don’t know. I do love him and want to work on things but I just don’t see how I’ll ever be able to trust him again
Run. And never look back. I’m 38m and I can save you the pain now if you listen. Dump her, block her and move on. You will meet someone just as physically attractive down the road that actually has a soul, likes you for who you are, and is kind and not evil.
Tell her to call you every night. If she's or with her friend. Have her call you before she goes out. Then have her call you when she on her way back to the hotel. FaceTime the last call. You know what she like like if she did anything inappropriate so that should calm your nerves. As long as your gf isn't overly flirty to begin with you should be fine with knowing she won't cheat on you.
I have, if I have to take the dog out in middle of the night and wait for them to get there business done, might as well take care of my own business.
You will survive. It will be the hardest thing. Nude to grieve someone who is causing you pain. You need both a lawyer and a therapist. Remember she is not your best friend, she is not any kind of friend. Follow the advice of both these professionals exactly, as they will stop you from being gullible or rash. ( When she said she wasn’t happy with you sexually; did she offer any solutions, did you?) Take screenshots of all the evidence. Talk to your family, talk to your close friends. Don’t let her gaslight you
Buy a gift for him that you want and when he doesn’t like it take it for yourself
We are both 18 lol. Im bummed out that he went back to commenting stuff like that on girl’s posts :/
He loves your mind and personality more than his physical desires. That means he looks past superficial aspects when looking for a long term partner. You are who you are. He still wants you.
I'm speaking from a very similar situation to you, except I'm the one who made the mistake here.
Don't stay with this person, please save your mental health and put your time and energy into someone who truly values you.
Hopefully to go to therapy but somehow I doubt it.
After 17 years it just becomes another day…lol and I could care less. Most of the time, I forget versus my husband. Probably because I have other things to worry about and this isn't something I would ever waste negative emotions on.
Thanks! I'm peeved I'm getting downvoted but I think folks are not getting that THIS boyfriend is not the cheater.
Random things:
**his parents frequently come into his room without knocking when the door is shut. His mother has walked in on me in my underwear and I was furious. She was completely unruffled and said it's nothing she hasn't seen before – boyfriend had to point out that it wasn't about whether she was all right with it, but about me NOT being all right with it. She apologised a few days later
**his mother will go in his drawers to get stuff out for him. I asked him about it; he says it's all right, and if he wanted her to not, he'd tell her
**his dad does all his laundry
**his mother insists on doing all his cooking, down to asking him if he wants his food cutting up (yes, she does this for her grown ass son)
*she gets drunk and says stuff like I'm stealing away her baby boy, if she's drunk and emotional, she'll say about him leaving her all on her own if we go to my house (bear in mind his father is there so she's not *literally alone.
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Are u doing DBT? If not, get a work book on it and do it to some extent daily
You will love the person u evolved into and u will understand your worth
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if she was your ex of like 2 years and you guys broke up a few months back or it was heart breaking or something then forsuuure or if it's known that there was a heavy history or love there forever, yup. But you guys were like 16 years old? I have to go with the friend on this one. I mean, why does it make you uncomfortable? is there a reason you could explain to him(and/or us) better that is beyond just that you feel like it's bro code and she's off-limits forever?
Well if the primary point is sex, I would like to know if I did a decent job, and how I could do better
Query: Should I Fly Out to Get Her Back and Do a Big Gesture[?]
Response: Are you a main character in a hallmark romance movie? If yes, then go gave your climatic finale. If no, end your relationship with a toxic and insecure woman so you can find someone who trusts you
You need a different girlfriend.
Block her and ghost her. There is no law that says you have to keep using energy on people that take without giving back.
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And even if they didn't have kids, time wins every fight
Nothing to worry about here bro, the title makes this sound much worse. U never jerked off thinking about another woman? Well there u go
Why are you chasing this man like a sad puppy? Girl I would never beg for someone’s attention. My fucking partner not only has plans on NYE but specifically doesn’t want me involved? Sure thing my man, you won’t be involved with me ever again. Jesus Christ stand up for yourself.
I didn't realize I was generalizing by saying “many” instead of “most” or “all.” In my view, “many” also leaves room for “some” women who have psychotic breaks during the course of PPD, which you mentioned.
I apologize for coming off as generalizing in my comment.
What were their exact words?
“Low sperm count” or “infertile”?
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Let him get a penis extension first. Tell him you really love him but you really would like him to have a bigger penis.
Dear god, son – you're not even out of your teens.
Right now, judging on your post and your answers, your better looking than you think you are, not as smart as you think you are (and I say that with kindness, but your focus on quantitative data and rankings is naïve as all get out), lacking significantly in emotional maturity (see first sentence) and over-dramatizing to the nth degree.
Calm down. Enjoy life. Care for and love yourself. Grown as a person, mature as a human and breathe out.
My life was a clusterfuck at 19. Most people thought I'd end up single, broke, living on welfare and god knows what else (spoiler – my life rocks, I'm happily married to my BFF, and doing well above averagely well – it just took me a bit to get my shit together). 19 is a starting point, not a landing point. You need some perspective.
Sounds like he’s paranoid. Or depressed. Or something else. I personally would suggest counseling.
Your thighs and arse are like the least painful places to tattoo. Take some pain relief before going, pick a wee design, boom she's done. I'd be massively put off too to be honest, yeesh
Do you think that you can tell her what you've talked about here? Would you be able to handle it?
It may help to see a professional if you feel that telling her may be too difficult.
He is toxic because he refused to delete the nudes citing “I earned them”, when he in fact, took pictures without asking her and she let him with the condition to not include her face at least, which he also denied.
I told my boyfriend that if we were going to play the pettiness game I could blow everyone out of the water, there really is no bound to the potential for my pettiness, but he is advising me against this.
I have been trying to keep it quiet but we do generally have sex at least twice a night and once in the morning M-F and sometimes on Sunday, maybe he's just jealous. (Sometimes on Saturday too, lol, but he has to go home sometime and I usually have my kids on Saturday)
Girl, you're not listening to any of us. You NEED to listen to us. Stop making excuses for him, stop justifying his behaviour! He IS that jealous, he IS abusive, and he IS dangerous!!
– Normal, healthy relationships simply do not involve either party even suggesting a scenario where they violently murder their partner's family – There is a chance that he might think you're cheating one day even if you're not, what then? – Would you honestly feel safe having a child with this guy? He already said he'd burn a baby to death after all…
I know you don't want to break up with him, but sincerely, that is the only safe option. Those aren't jokes because there is no punch line, nothing that could even be interpreted as a joke. They are words used by someone who wants to keep you complacent and controlled, even if you can't see it. I'm a stranger and it feels like I'm more worried about your safety than you are…please show your parents this post, or a friend, anyone…
That was definitely not a joke. Maybe he wouldn't actually do it, but he wasn't joking. He was threatening you because he wants you to fear him. You should end things immediately, and you owe it to your family to warn them about what he said.
I think you should be ashamed. Unless there are tons of info from the past that you haven’t written about. Wow. Some people.
Not.really. its people in shops too
seeing almost every person say seek legal action gave me so much support and closure. I wish I could tell everyone exactly who he is, ppl deserve to know, but I will let him start over new. I will always keep my money private in the future.
Kind men don’t cheat
4 months.
If you weren't so sleep deprived you would have the energy and motivation to leave.
4 months
WHY ARE YOU LIVING WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE ONLY KNOWN FOR 4 CRAPPY MONTHS??
she said nothing happened and they are just good friends and nothing more
You cannot possibly believe that, surely? People do not snog their “friends” and post pictures of it all over social media.
Oh no, not the social media obsessed girl, she's even parroting stuff she reads live. 250k followers is a lot, she has an oppurtunity to make alot of money and she should pursue it, however, you're right, her shift in personality isn't pretty. The OF comment is a red flag, you have the right to be uncomfortable and set boundaries. She might've not been serious about it but if she goes down that path, you should leave. You should try to having a serious conversation about it once more and see if she's willing to compromise. If she continues to be entitled, bratty and immature, then you should reconsider you're relationship. She's showing her true colors. Honestly, she seems like alot of work, I would hit the emergency eject button.
Most definitely but that's the thing I'm struggling with at the moment. I think the minor things were not an issue when I was taking it more casually. Now that we're becoming more serious I realize the minor things could be a major thing for me.
You left it out, and I could be playing Sherlock here, but what about the brothers drinking? His medical anxiety and depression sound a whole lot like they could be symptomatically triggered from alcohol abuse. Any insights there?
Yeah sorry theres not really a way around this. Muslim families take it very seriously. They won't change or lessen their opinions in my experience.
No she’s not. I would talk to her about it but what if she doesn’t know he has them. Then that’s an entire new problem we’ll have.
Just go home.
make up an excuse “I don't feel well” and never go back
block him and move on to someone who isn't trying to exploit you
Do not contact her until the order is dropped. Break up with her and sell the house.
Break up before you get her pregnant and then you have to spend your life worrying about your baby’s momma molesting your child.
She seems very remorseful and her tears seemed genuine but I dont know what to trust now.
This
Till yesterday I was sure she would never cheat
And this…
You just can't trust her, period… Move on, is better For everyone that way.
Lord have mercy
Dump her.
I really need to how many men have read this story and would think of leaving their wife when she took a rock to the head while pregnant that was meant for you? This is some kind of fucked up thing to do to your wife.
Ohhh ok.
You need to leave. This could shift to you being in danger. Protect yourself.
I love those posts!
I hope that you will do nothing but waste your life from now on then.
I know it has nothing to do with ADHD, sorry I formulated that poorly.
$20 says she didn't really cut him out of her life and has only learned how to cheat more subtly.
You don't see a chick you randomly banged while she was in a relationship, have her cut you out of her life, to only see her and her partner at a party later in life and go “yeah, she will totally come with me to a cruise just her and I”. This sounds a bit more planned than a random spark of the moment cheating spree on a cruise.
She is choosing the other man over you. I think you need to lawyer up. Take the kids, if you have any. This is unacceptable.
Now you know his real respect for your opinion.
You sure you want to buy a house together?
It's still doable with a wide neck bottle but you'd have to get out of bed so it would be more effort than it's worth. A guy could just roll to the edge of the bed.
Aaaaaaand here comes the guy who’s ready to defend a rapist he doesn’t even know
Thankfully payment isn’t an issue as it shouldn’t cost, a ride would be nice but I’ve found somewhere local. I’ve tried to make as many decisions as possible to that wouldn’t cause him any strain since he’s having a nude time. I just makes sense for me to deal with the situation.
Both he and his friend are wrong. You are an adult and don't need a controlling BF trying to tell you what to do and giving you a curfew like you're 13 years old. Sounds like the honeymoon period is ending and his controlling mask is slipping. I'd not tolerate this for one second, nor would I accept the “compromise” you agreed to.
If she didn’t have the self control to stop herself from wracking up that insane amount of debt, what makes you think she’ll have the self control to ever pay it off?
Wow ! Yes I did learn of this statistic recently..that is why I was trying to figure out if what I experienced was truly strangulation / assult. I know it was deep down because he was angry with me the whole night …I was confused because he didn’t hold me for even 10 seconds but..made me doubt my reality but I know I can’t go back
She says they don’t work for her.
This is beautiful! ❤️
He’s not going to change. This is who he is. Leave him.
Why? I didn't talk to my mum for two years but I still saw my sister who was 8-9.
Dudes watch porn. Overwhelmingly, this is the case. It has nothing whatsoever to do with you or his attraction to you. It isn’t cheating, and isn’t any indication that he’d actually cheat at all. This is your insecurity talking to you. If you can’t get past it, talk to a professional.
I don't think anyone is saying so. But the fact that he can't have a conversation with her about it without becoming hostile means that he's not even ready to be in a relationship.
People should be able to talk about their deal breakers, even if they are irrational, without being hostile or cruel.
Just tell her that the gift was only the phone, not the service. You could also use your PS5 example. Be polite but be firm.
That’s because that is where you draw your line in the sand, which I think is reasonable. For someone else your line may be too strict or may be contributing to the “unethical” porn (I’ve heard that OF or paying for porn encourages ethical porn as the money goes more towards the actresss/actors). Anyone can draw their line where ever they want and it be their boundary.
Sir, my boyfriend of 3 years has no issues spending money on me, and I STILL cringe at the idea of going to an expensive restaurant because I don't want him to spend $44 for my entree. What your gf has done, my gosh…
She's a gold digger 100%. The heck? Please dump this woman asap because you go bankrupt ?
Because I thought i could help him
Dude why are you on Reddit trying to convince strangers? Have this same exact conversation with the same exact concerns with your Fiance and see what he says. If he's unwilling to see your point of view or dismisses your concerns, then that's something you need to figure out BEFORE marriage. Or do you want to spend the next 20 years being resentful of him buying his mother gifts?
I like the house lit up and window shades open.
Exactly!! Finally someone gets it.
I'm a guy (not that it makes a difference), but I did not sign up to live in darkness.
Are you sure your bf is not seeing another girl??
S was not even there ..
And you have been over A. Why didn't A come to your place??
Something is missing.
And stinky One night dinner talk in car..
Bet bf has a new girlfriend and your. Side if he needs.
You got this, girl! Stay strong, you deserve so much better!
I won’t even buy a car without taking it for a test drive.
So proud of you for being this strong. It's nude, I know. You are being so smart in how you are handling it and I am so glad you have people to help you get your stuff. You got this. Your heart will heal and you'll find a great guy who respects your boundaries!
YTA 100000%. You shouldn’t be “testing” your partner at all, that’s extremely unhealthy to do. She’s lucky you broke up with her now, or else I wonder if she’d be tested for the rest of your relationship.
Big dicks have little to do with women orgasming. Only 27% of women can orgasm through penetration alone, majority of women orgasm only through clitoral stimulation.
People know each other in the industry. The new company may have called his current job and found out about the shit show.
I am in recruiting and trust me, I can find informally all kind dirt on potential employees.
We, recruiters know each other. We watch out for nut cases…
Has he ever snapped destructively before? If not, it might be worth checking out his mental or physical health.
Maybe not as much as we could do, I can speak to him and see if this helps, although I do sometimes get into it and then when we are actually having sex I just want to stop. Thanks for your help, I'll definitely try it
It's not the same as cheating but a lot of gamers emotionally neglect their relationship.
How many hours and days do you spend gaming?
Do you live together?
There's always got to be quality time with eachother and time for both of your hobbies.
She's expressed clearly what's wrong so maybe just take a look and see where you can both compromise.
She is communicating something very clearly, you can feel relief she is capable of communicating her needs clearly. Can you do that for her? Or is against some kind of ideal? You are basically putting things in the balance.
Did you canoodle when she stayed over? Did you even try? She might be disappointed in you if you didn’t.
2
You are 19. You are too young to be basing your life around marrying someone, especially someone you’ve only dated for 6months! And a LDR at that! So you haven’t even spent serious time together right?
I know right now you think this is the one for you, but you don’t know that. Don’t blow this opportunity
Yeah I agree looking back on it. I’m a huge sucker for animals, especially dogs so I just wanted him to be happy and comfortable. I ended up bringing him to the humane society the next morning. No one has picked him up yet. I’m pretty sure he was dumped in front of my house?
Depends where you are. Where I live, literally nothing is open for miles and miles at 11pm. But I’m assuming you on-line in more of a city area.
Lots of places have “disco” bowling late at night. It’s lit up differently and is really fun.
Someone else said observatory— that’s an amazing idea!
Music venues and beer gardens often have a different vibe than bars and clubs. Somewhere you can sit, maybe by a fireplace, and have an appetizer and talk.
Hookah lounges if that’s your thing.
If you are staying home, you can make it more of an event. Make popcorn and pick a movie out of a hat or something— maybe even have a challenge where you both have a time limit to make a snack based on the movie before you watch it. Actually, a tiny snack making competition sounds really fun. We might do that.
Wine and Pictionary
Those are a couple things I can think of. Good luck!
By all means have a conversation with her but I wouldn’t expect much improvement. You could be in your 30s, she’s still going to try to make you live by rules that make her less anxious.
You did nothing wrong, please don’t blame yourself for their backdated believes.
If I am correct forced marriages are illegal in most places. His choices are to ruin his relationship with them (which honestly is not much of a relationship at this point) or elope (again, why not?). Forcing a marriage will ruin your lives and the life of the girl he’d be marrying.
You should also post on r/Muslimmarriages for better advice.
Wait through ages 8-13?
Was he pressured into it? I guess 12-13 is when puberty starts so some sort of sexual stuff can happen there but 8-11 sounds to me like he's been victim of sexual assault as minor himself.
What's worse he then did it to his baby sister when she was 8?
I dunno OP but from my view this is not normal nor healthy. I'll give him benefit of the doubt that he did that because he was just a kid and his hormones got better of him so if you want to stay in the relationship you just need to push it as far to the back of your memory as possible.
I'm going to try to give it time before I try to contact them in general. I'm also trying to figure out how to respond at my work as well so it doesn't make things worse. I don't feel that the way I tried to reach for contact was bad as I could have easily gone the route of “Why won't you talk to me, what's going on with your ex, did something happen and you don't want to tell me?” I could have gone full insecure and really pushed them, but I held my tongue and tried my best to approach it from a point of care and concern for what they were going through, voiced that what was happening was hurting me.. Etc.
I'm under the impression of, *treat them like all the other coworkers, don't bring up what happened, try to touch base by maybe asking about music or something so I can show I'm open to some sort of conversation*
It just sort of flabbergasted me because it was such a 180 turn in their personality that I didn't understand how to grasp that without letting myself lose control of the lack of communication that had started…
He sounds like a gross sexist disrespectful jerk who doesn’t deserve access to your boobs!!!
I wouldn't waste my time. If your parents don't see it then it's never gonna be stopped. I'd just leave whenever she comes around or stop visiting all together
Significant personality changes often feel like the “person” is no longer the person you chose.
Its not like regular illness even when it has a physical cause.
My hubby and I always agreed we would stick by each other to the end if we were completely disabled or need 24/7 care but even we ( after 36 years together) feel that once the brain is seriously altered by dementia , brain injury or serious ongoing mental illness then we are allowed to part if we need to.
You are not even married you have made no promises and she is not your dependant. She needs to be with someone who knowingly choses her for who she is AND might become.
Not a great situation to bring kids into if you want them either. Be honest and say you wanted to be there for her ans still do but you can't handle such an uncertain future.
You also deserve a good life.
Back in my day I remember when pedophile meant diddling kids. Not all this crap involving what TV shows people watch or being interested in the acting of a woman that is actually 19-20.
Fuck. My. Life.
Are you for real? The time to post on one of these groups (if ever) was when you first got together, not when you’ve both started planning a life together. So he’s committed to you, bought an engagement ring, bared his soul and asked to marry you (to which you fucking accept) AND THEN you post “is this guy a psycho?” ?
Fuck you. He might not be, but you certainly are. And no, there’s no way he’s coming back. You’ve just shattered his trust as certainly as if you’d fucked his dad.
whether it’s cheating or not is up to the people in that relationship to decide. it’s not your boundary to set
either way tho there’s no way this works out
Rather than jealousy, the problem I see in your casual view of sex with other people is that you (and apparently your wife too) don’t connect sex with intimacy. There’s nothing special about sex with your wife because you don’t feel any differently about it than sex with a casual acquaintance.
She's already complaining to her friends about your partner not giving her what she wants, from the sound of it, and making it sound like he's the one with the problem when she's actively pursuing someone who has a partner. He needs to just shut the whole thing down and tell her to leave you two alone.
Dude, seriously. About a year ago my husband was struggling through some intense mental health stuff, like daily panic attacks for a while. He kept feeling guilty that he was “hogging all our emotional energy”, and I kept reassuring him the pendulum swings back around and right now he needs support. He got the help he needed and then, like, 5 seconds later my mom was hospitalized with terminal cancer and I spent many months “hogging all our emotional energy”. Over the years together, it balances out.
I don't really see the point in being in a relationship so transactional. Where is the love?
Have some self respect.
He feels really insecurity, like if you go secretly to an organise each month.
Make it clear he had his daughter and you have your glamping. No one has to ask the other to abandon it.
He is doing it out of a sense of obligation. Guys break their neck trying to get sex, then when they get, they don’t want it anymore. Sad reality of hundreds of thousands of relationships
Half your post is pushing off responsibility for your fuck up. It was the alcohol, she encouraged you to go for it, it’s retribution… dude she should not forgive you. Anyone deserves better, than a partner like you.
You decided to listen to her drunk instructions instead of the sober ones???
Shame on you. Unless you learn to take responsibility for your actions you will only ever be the toxicity in other people’s life.
I wish but I’m being 100% honest.
That's the shit thing, she is super flirtatious in general. She has said things in the past that could be considered a sign, but she's also done to it many others so its nude to decipher. Could you give an example of a cute text message that would be a sign?
Gotcha.
We talked about it more on the phone Saturday night. Basically, he thinks of it as being around each other not doing anything. I told him when I say that, I just want to be alone completely.
I got frustrated during our conversation because he said if I needed alone time then to just let him know and he or I could go into another room and he wouldn't bother me. But I did that before and he got upset and said he felt disrespected that I didn't want to be around him. It's like he tries to understand and he just…doesn't.
Take the divorce, be honest with your kids and both your and her families, don't cover for her, she had the affair, she deserves their judgement.
I'm so sorry.
Yep and we made plans back in March. When I asked for an update when I should start planning, to come over he said he doesn’t know since he has to figure out a few things but it’s been weeks. Ticket prices are increasing so I don’t meant to pressure ? after that, absolutely zero and cold ?
Is the bar truly this low?
Celebrate on a different day. If he works that day or whatever, just plan to spend ur birthday on his days off.
Yes you can and yes you should. And you should have a tenant agreement in place too. However much you decide to charge, get it in writing. Particularly what expectations are if you break up.
Do not subsidize his life.
you might want to mention what you need advice on.
Update – he ended up telling me it was better now that he started to workout and eat better. Then I hung out with him and his breath smelt so bad and he wanted to like keep trying to kiss me after I said no. And always talked about sex. Ew
If he’s doing that getting to know someone just wait until he gets comfortable
You know what you gotta do
Marriage therapy for their relationship at this point is like CPR after someone has been dead for weeks.