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WoW. Your darkness is complete.
Solution: Stay single forever.
The whole post sounds like a romcom.
So you want to slide into the DMs of an instagram girl who doesn’t know you exist?
Good luck.
You should readjust his personality to a 1 because what boyfriend would rate his gf a 6 after she gave him a 10? He's obviously either harboring resentful feelings toward you or he's just a jerk. Have a conversation about this and if he's not apologetic, break up.
I really appreciate the time you took to respond to me. This is all very helpful insight.
Everything you’ve said is very reasonable and I will heed your advice about talking to him about it.
He’s never had a therapist before so I feel like kind of a jerk being like “oh this is wrong”. Especially when he’s happy with therapy overall. I think he could probably have a better experience though.
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Consult a lawyer about the house, don’t assume it will be amicable. People who cheat often turn nasty when broken up with – not saying your girlfriend will, but better be prepared than financially screwed over.
If you haven’t already you should get an std test.
At the best of times it’s not easy to be friends with an ex. In the event of cheating it’s extremely difficult. Beware of being trapped in a we’re-not-dating-but-we’re-not-NOT-dating situation that will stop you from moving on. Probably best to aim for being civil at mutual friend meet-ups, if you can’t avoid seeing each other, at least for a year or so whilst you heal and move on.
That's not how it is at all. I didn't even realize I was being abused. It was not physical it was emotional, mental, and financial. It doesn't show the same way and for someone who was quite a bit younger than him and didn't know want better I was ripe for the picking. I have been trying to save my relationship for 3ish years now. I have made changes he wanted. I have also never put marriage as something I wanted to do. He has always known this a proposed knowing full well it would stay that way. I have only ever seen two marriages stand the test of time so I've never been the girl who fantasized about any of that
girl what the hell do you like about him so much that you haven’t left yet????
OP, my family made 'jokes' about me being fat when I was just a kid and not overweight at all. It fucked me up for a long time and incidentally, among other things, made it more difficult for me to want to/care about my weight or health. Because if people call you fat when you're you're not fat, what's the point of being anything else?
Your wife needs help OP. Don't let her give your child an eating disorder just because she won't deal with her own trauma.
If he's doing it because he cares about you and wants you to be treated well without expecting anything in return, then I don't see an issue with letting him do it. It might be one of the ways he shows his affection.
I can understand feeling uncomfortable with never being able to reciprocate, though, because its unnatural for you to be treated so much (I was raised like that as well)
But I think it's fine to let him do this for you if it's truly based in positivity (meaning no ulterior motives, he doesn't use it against you later, etc). Imagine it's him buying you flowers every week or doing something else for you. And since you said he's financially secure, it's not like he's spending money when he shouldnt be.
I know that if I had the extra money to spend, I would constantly want to use it to make my partner happy/their life easier just because I want to. He may be thinking the same, which I think is really sweet.
It takes energy to write 9 paragraphs on Reddit. Her ex sounds like he sucks but whom among us has not dated a loser at one point or another? Your obsession is a clear sign of insecurity.
Go back a bit further… OP can’t quite seem to get her age straight, but she’s always got “a boyfriend of X months”, one right after the other, and all with really eyebrow raising issues. I can’t tell if this is completely made up, or if we are dealing with a woman in serious need of intense therapy.
by this logic he shouldn’t even go to work; how will she survive on her own??
Bob is being a little bitch. Women who fall for Bobs, shitty little scavengers that prey on other people's relationships, are beyond help. I hope he crawls somewhere and you have a great time.
I think you’re right and you know what scares me. I got a 20% raise and that’s kind of unheard of. It wasn’t really attached to any promotion just a good job and my manager named him during my review. I thanked him and he said he was happy that I was happy and now everything is starting to set in….something does not smell right. I think it might be good to disclose my relationship with HR even though everyone knows my boyfriend and I date. I could also just do it so that HR knows there is someone who is particularly interested in my material status and that’s why I feel it’s better to have my relationship on record.
Toss him into the sea.
Awww idk why but this made me laugh!!! Thank youuu 🙂
My dude, why have you been tolerating this at all?? It should have never happened a second time, let alone after all these years. This is her issue to resolve, not yours. She needs to put in the work to grow up and get the fuck over you having a life before her. If she can’t, don’t waste your time in a girl who hasn’t grown up past high school
I'd do some similar things like start going to bowling night. Even if she's not there, you can start talking to his pals about this new friend and watch how uncomfortable they act. But, ultimately, it's kinda futile. Knowing what I know now, I'd have drawn the line at a different point. Like, in your case, “husband, you talking to a woman without me knowing she exists, and from the sound of it she doesn't know I exist, is a deal breaker. Because after you cheated, you needed to have complete transparency with me.”
Don't argue about whether he cheated, or planned on cheating. Because cheaters are only going to gaslight you anyway. It hurts and it sucks. But you deserve a partner who won't dream of betraying you.
Unfortunately, it's entirely possible the mom has been surrounded by guys like this all her life, and doesn't know that men can also…just not be creeps. OP, you have a much healthier expectation of how a man should behave. Don't back down.
She’s a virgin waiting til marriage who moved 14 hours away to live with him and he’s “joked” that if she ever got fat, he would leave her. Yikes.
Thank you. Sometimes I really need to just hear it this way.