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Model from: jp
Languages: ja
Birth Date: 1997-03-12
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorRed
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Thank you. Her parents were very supportive to her, paying for her to go to college and have a good home life. She has told me before that her parents never said “I love you.” She said my dad had to teach her to say it. I can imagine this stunted her emotional maturity, which never seemed to develop. And is likely why she has all of the traits of an emotionally immature person.
Yes he wants to eventually buy a house down the road and have kids.
“So he can find someone more attractive”?? What a dick thing to say.
Absolutely this! As someone who survived an abusive relationship I can safely say that it was a lot easier to see the abuse with time and distance. These internet strangers are trying to look out for you.
Either choice would be acceptable. There is nothing wrong with turning him down. There's also nothing wrong with going on a date with him without really knowing if it's something you are fully committed too. That's why it's dating. It's the time to get to know someone, and then decide if you want to continue getting to know them. Either way, I highly recommend that you just communicate your feelings with him directly.
Yes. Otherwise your relationship is a dishonest one. Would you want to know? If you care about her tell her. She’ll eventually find out. Something will slip. All it takes is one fight between the roommate and his GF and your GF will become collateral damage.
27 year old girl seeing a 50 year old man, then, surprise, the 50 year old dude treats the dumbass chick like a tool. A classic relationship_advice story if there ever was one.
You should try giving her time heal after that. But her using her mental illness doesn't make up for not telling you about what is happening and lying to you. Talk to her about it and see where you at. I have bpd and i would never do such thing to my beloved one.
You can’t be that religious to have had casual sex with someone you’re not married to. If you are prepared to have a coparenting relationship with him at minimum 18 years then by all means keep the baby, but it wasn’t smart to go unprotected and it’s not smart to not think over your options here.
No need to wait – go for it!
Whatever you do, dump the boyfriend. He is not good for you. With that out of the way, you can concentrate on what really matters, what is the best thing for you. Think about it long and naked. Whatever you are going to need a plan about money and the people you can count on. Best of luck OP.
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Agreed anneofred. I appreciate you speaking reason here
You can harp on American vs European cultural differences regarding nudity all you want, but skinny dipping with others in a relationship is crossing a line across all cultures.
Going to a naked beach, sure, but you didn’t say that. The connotation around skinny dipping is far different.
That’s literally what cheaters so to avoid accountability like literally. Oh I didn’t initiate it just happened , was powerless etc
Why do you have so little respect for yourself that you’re ok living in a trash home with a trash partner?
If you can afford a house, you’re clearly a smart and capable person. So why continue to live! miserably when you have the means to build the life you want?
You stop doing everything. Manage your own time. Manage your own money. Stop helping him. Stop working the extra jobs and relax in the evening. He's a grown up, let him feed himself. If all of that sound too much like a recipe for conflict, dump him now because he isn't going to change.
I was listening to a self-help podcast for a few weeks, then found out the host is it an open marriage and had to unsubscribe.
No matter how much I try to uplift him he thinks I’m lying. I don’t know if there’s anything else I can do at this point. I encourage therapy and maybe antidepressant or anxiety medication (it changed my life for sure), but he won’t try either.
Not really. We're almost in february & the day you miss the first pregnancy is stated as “4+0” ; even factually only 2 weeks pregnant. Given the 5 – or even 7 days – ut would be late october, early november..
thank you, i can sense my worry of what happens to the relationship is getting in the way of doing the best thing, honesty.
Says a guy who did the same to play a video game
Crazy how no on is baggin on the girl being a predator for dating a practical child. Absolute hivemind hypocrisy at its finest.
You're very young and because of that, I think, is why you're taking this so seriously. But I'm here to tell you that girl has issues that she needs a professional to help her deal with, and you need to not give what she said another thought. Don't let a person like that have an effect on you.
You already know this is t going to work
It is an odd situation I'll give you that. As a parent, I would definitely want to meet the guy dating my daughter. Not out of some thought of her fragility or weakness. Just to see the cut of his jib. It's more about knowing who he is, rather than a personal attack on her.
the alternative though, I meet him or you do not, is really not acceptable. At some point you need to see yourself as an adult and standup for yourself. That may come with the possibility of you having to move out though.
End of the day though, he'll have to meet him sooner or later. If you can let the alternative slide, there's no harm in a quick 'I need to pick something up at my house' or have him pick you up. He can shake hands, introduce himself to your father.. then you can go about your day.
You are old enough to understand that you cannot change people.
Nope. You have to live! someone based on who they are, not who you might mould them into. Can you imagine a guy saying that about a girl? He would be destroyed. This isn’t going to be the relationship you want.
It’s not a deal breaker. But yes I feel I should have had a say in this decision.
There’s actually been a lot of compromise over the years. Always to suit whatever wacky things she wants to do. On our first date and initially we both hated tattoos. I still do. She’d talk about how ugly they were. She didn’t have any. Now she has six. I had to accept that to keep being with her but I still find them repulsive.
This dog is going to tie her down to her house and stress her out. It will always be on her (and mine when I live! with her) mind. It will become part of her personality (again, it never was before).
Meanwhile I’ve always remained on a consistent course, I haven’t asked her to accept anything new, I’m stayed on the same path. And all this drama about us disagreeing I’ve always seen as self-inflicted issues. If she hadn’t done any of this we’d be nowhere near breaking up. But she has and now we are. Idk.
One time I had a dream that a rat was eating me from my chest area and I woke up and it turn out I was clawing at my own chest.
I agree when ppl do wrong and someone does something they get sensitive about it thinking that their friend GF BF is taking it out on them. they tend to accept fault, but also become victims themselves very quickly.
This era is filled with victims. I have yet to see someone just own up to their mistakes on this community without trying to sound like a victim after.
I rarely have vivid dreams like those I tend to get nightmares tho they aren't scary or make me scream at all, they just push me to wake up in a startled way and if I try to sleep immediately it will continue from where it left off and it will loop unless I stay awake for 30min to 1hr drink some water or something. it's rather annoying nightmare loop.
I tried to experiment with the nightmare how much I could loop it for and I would wake up every 15-30 min for 7 hours of my sleep time.
sorry I probably should've worded it better then that:/ . I should've wrote it in a way where I gave more contexts , but I'm just looking for advice on like why he made a burner account to look at my stuff instead of following me, or talking to me should I just leave it alone and block him off everything or just let him look ?
I mean like, violence is never acceptable. But also if you guys haven’t fought like this in years it certainly sounds like it was the topic itself that was the problem.
Stop planning the wedding. You don’t want a wedding, he does. You need to sit him down and tell him if he wants a wedding, he needs to plan it, you will take no further steps to plan it. And then follow through on that. Don’t lift a finger to plan it and tell him to tell you when and where to show up.
Him expecting you to do all the planning when he’s the one who wants a wedding is sexist.
I just can't get over how you're the one planning the wedding.. the wedding that he wanted.
There are a lot of people who want to be in a romantic relationship but not live! together. Some people just need their own space. It doesn’t make your relationship innately more healthy or less healthy. That is dependent on the two of you.
Do not have an office affair!!
Same. My wife actively uses my phone. We share a laptop with all our passwords saved. I have 2 other PCs in the house that have no locked passwords.
We also never go through each other's private conversations… It's called respecting your partner
What you just said is that he thought your relationship was worth compromising over fake tits. Just to find out how they felt. That doesn’t seem to give your relationship much value…
Nope, sounds like she wants to shop to see what she can find.
Also, I don’t think it’s attractive to be insecure. I was abused throughout my childhood and struggle a lot with my sense of self-worth. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd. I try to be open and honest with potential partners.
Std test and dna test (if you want to know). Sucks man
So a lot of people are commenting in your favor which on the main post I kind of understand because you made yourself sound so innocent and like you’re bending over backwards for her.
But then you react by blocking your fiancé of five years like a petulant child and make a reply to a comment saying because of your high sex drive you “need porn to NOT CHEAT”
No. You’re a prick. I guarantee there’s way more from her side being left out of this story. You also said you’ve tried couples therapy and she’s tried individual. People are saying it’s “her problem” but all I see is she at least began putting in effort to be better and here you are saying you need to watch Busty Blonde Deepthroats Cock to not cheat on your fiance after a little while without sex.
You’re the type to cheat while your partner is pregnant because “I have needs!”
My dad did this with his dad as a kid. His dad told co workers & they were saying should be punished. He said no, he was right & changed.
That doesn't mean she's not the one that got away
And then you tell him he is wrong.
Did she though? She disagreed with him. Not the same thing at all.
You're right. He has learned behaviour. When a child grows up hearing that it usually continues in a generational pattern until someone breaks it. It sounds like he wants to but has triggers. It is not okay for him to treat you like that though and if you don't follow through with leaving his verbal abuse will carry on to your child.
You have to realise in yourself you are worth far more than been called names and been a pawn in the war going on within him. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, but he's not your person.
You've helped him plant the seeds of his breaking his past trauma, now it's time to move on and let someone else water them.
Because there is an opportunity already so i grabbed it