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Model from: it
Languages: it,pt
Birth Date: 1993-02-02
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlack
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Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Bro. If it's something you wouldn't do in front of your s/o, it's cheating. It's absolutely a breach of fidelity, and you know it. It doesn't have to be physical. It. Is. Cheating. You ABSOLUTELY are the cheating type. You keep saying “not excusing my behavior” all while you're attempting to downplay and excuse it.
You really need to learn to take responsibility for your actions because you obviously have an issue with it. You can't admit a fault without “but- *insert downplaying of your actions*”.
I genuinely don't think you sound like you're ready for a long-term, committed monogamous relationship. You're both cheaters, end of story. It may feel shameful to be labeled a cheater, but you are one.
My advice would be that if you get tempted so easily (which you sound like you do) tbh seek therapy, STOP getting into committed monogamous relationships until you work on yourself because you're only going to traumatize someone and possibly ruin both theirs and your life by cheating, learn to take accountability, and work on personal discipline. Heavy on the personal discipline part.
You gotta do work on it. Cheating, feeling bad, and then thinking you can just not admit that you've cheated won't help you. Usually people DO find out that they've been cheated on even IF their cheating significant other isn't the one to tell them, so you likely can't escape your girlfriend/future gfs finding out about you cheating. So lying or not, you'll only be hurting and traumatizing other people.
Do what's right for you, and stick to it. You live with the decisions you make, not your parents. What you do need to do is force yourself to stop letting your parent's criticism influence your decisions. They won't have to live your life, they won't have to ultimately deal with your consequences. When they say something critical, just remember that no matter what they say, you had decided what you want and their opinion is just that, an opinion. Now you may be financially dependent on them, in which case the only way to free yourself from their control is to lessen or remove that dependence. If you can, that makes you free to decide for yourself, and the only thing holding you back is the cultural expectation that you obey your parents, which, again, is your decision to make. Make your choices, live! with them.