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You are not wrong. It's ok to feel sad, but what your SO was doing was trying to control you, not love you. You don't need someone dictating how you are and are not allowed to interact with ordinary human beings. You can trust your own judgement.
If someone shames you for being a friend, or heck, being a pleasant co-worker, that someone is not someone who has your best interests at heart.
The only way this wouldn’t massively weird me out is if it was said by my boyfriend on my birthday and he had a big extravagant thing planned for me and even then… it would feel like way too much.
It feels smothering and intense. Stalker-ish and love bombing, you’d have to cut out a LOT for it to not feel too intense anymore even for someone I’m actively dating and in love with. If my friend wanted to send this to someone I’d absolutely be telling them not to.
For someone I’m not in a relationship (per your comment) with it would be an instant block, I’d be filing a complaint with HR, and feel way too freaked out. I would probably assume the person was mentally unstable and/or dangerous.
Advice on what specifically.
I’m legitimately trying to help you, but don’t want to go giving advice that you respond to by saying “thanks but that part is already sorted, I need help with xyzc”
How old was she?
In my opinion, no you’re not crazy. It wasn’t okay how your mother reacted to a situation that was completely out of your control. You had every right to be frustrated that she wasn’t answering her phone, and that you had to keep going around the block multiple times because of that. I’m sorry that this had happened to you, and for so many years.
Depends on what you and partner consider important. I have five degrees, but I can’t honestly expect a lot of guys to have that many. I’m pretty content if they have some kind of higher Ed certificate whether it be a degree from a 4 yr university or something from a trade school or community college.
She basically is in the dark for a reason. Is there anyone else with her that you could call? If not, and she doesn't get back with you until tomorrow sometime, I would suspect that she didn't want you to find out where she was or what she was doing. I also hate it when people tell you that their phone died when they shut them off. She's basically ghosting you for a reason. Sorry, good luck
Not necessarily. She doesn't owe OP a view of her screen or a particular way how to manage it. Either OP trusts her or they don't.
Wow seriously o-o Me, Personally. If I see that happen I would step up and say something.
I would suggest you talking to your BF once more about this. If he doesn't do anything.. really do anything about this. Leave him for good.
You both being partner are maybe going to be in a long term relationship up to marriage. If he doesn't do anything to protect you from these kind of things. He shouldn't be with you. That's not someone you'll want to be with.
Yup. You can be in the same classes or live! in the same building, and if they don't want to be your friend, they don't have to.
This a thousand times over!
I’m actually with you on this one, I was all set to blast you over your insecurity and tell you that you are being controlling but that dress.. the way you are describing it sounds extreme for someone in a relationship. Perhaps you can compromise and ask if she would be willing to use it as a swimsuit coverup?
She chose to have them there and she chose to let the rando stay when her friend left. She wanted it and she got it.
Now she deals with the consequences. Nope out of there.
Get her the fk out of your house and never let her back near your children. If someone behaved like that in my house they would be kicked out in a second.
I hope this isn’t real because you sound terrible.
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Plenty of men to choose from, tell him to go find one
Every person has different experiences in life and not every 19 year old is as immature as you think. Take it all with a grain of salt. Are there people who prey on younger inexperienced people? Of course. But not EVERY situation is like that. That’s all I’m saying.
Run away from this guy. He is trying to threaten you into being faithful. Scary dude.
I'd like him to treat her as a gym member who asked him a question – respond just as he would a male person that asked him the same.
“What do you WNAt him to Do WHen a FEMALE talks to Him??” Treat her like a person.
This relationship doesn't work. Point blank.
I'm sorry to be so blunt but after losing my father too, you have to realise you cannot hold onto the familiar simply because it is familiar. This relationship and that family are not good for you, and seemingly you for them. Be by yourself for a while, get into therapy and start to live! your life for yourself until somebody you can have a healthy relationship with comes into your life… if you even decide that that's what you want, but you definitely need some independence and therapy to figure yourself out!
Yes you made the right decision. She has unfinished business with her ex. It's too much to expect your partner to accept this extra person in the relationship when you should be building memories and experiences together.
Thank you, this is a good insight, I know he doesn't make any extra payments on the principle so you're right about all the payments being mostly interest. I don't think he's open to change either
well not all women, just the very hot ones. they all tend to be negative, so good on them. you deny this, but then you're probably one of them who never takes any stock of her actions.
I think you start with figuring out…is this the life you want for the rest of ever. Like if it never changes and this is it can you handle that? Or would it be better to handle the breakup now and hurt and work on healing, improving personal finances and finding someone who's goals are more aligned with yours. Neither option is easy. If your parents are supportive you go to them, check yourself into the hospital again if needeed, get a good therapist, find things you enjoy and get involved in other things. Just stuff to fill your days. You have plenty of time to find someone new and fall in love. Don't think this is it and never gonna happen again.
nah this is some scary shit fr. he’s controlling you, stole your Money, and made you quit your job. he sees you and your baby as his possessions. sue him for the money that he stole from you. thankfully y’all aren’t married.
everyone has all the advice that i wanted to give you. i’m wishing you the best OP i’m worried for you. i hope you get out of there safely.
Oh my god, listen to your family! They actually care about you and can see how this abusive, horrible man is treating you. The reason he is sometimes lovely to you is to make you confused, dependent and doubtful of your own worth when he then turns the spite on. Leave, for the sake of your sanity, leave him.
He's flat out told you he's bored with you and wants someone new to sleep with. There's really no other way to spin that. He wants to keep you around to manage his family life, but he wants to have other women too. I agree with you, I wouldn't want to stay with a man who doesn't want me either.
Lol she's just saying that to make you feel better..
I like this but I would improve it…”I found you sexual conversations with (name). You are in violation of our prenup and I will be invoking through our lawyer. If you want to stay in this relationship you will pay per the agreement without argument and you will enter counseling immediately. “
Consequences.