My name Jess! I, ‘m always smiling for you! And I also have a very long tongue the very hot on-line sex chat with hottest babes with a Live HD
5KMy name Jess! I, ‘m always smiling for you! And I also have a very long tongue, 20 y.o.
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Yes people have crushes outside of their relationship, it’s pretty normal though not everyone does. They still love their partner even if they’re attracted to or crushing on someone else. If relationship is solid and built on trust and open communication it’s usually not an issue unless jealousy and insecurities are a problem for someone. If there’s other lying and hiding things it can cause concern for partners.
Sometimes it can mean there’s something missing in a relationship or the two aren’t still “dating” each other in the sense of making plans and doing things we find actions and new within the relationship. Relationships are work and just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the work ends. Sometimes needs are t getting met or something else is going on but not always.
I have friends who are happily monogamous who will openly talk about crushes on other people or attraction to other people. Doesn’t mean they have interest in cheating. There’s happy chemicals that our brain likes in new relationships and crushes give those happy chemicals too. I know people who find others attractive and it increases the sex drive between the relationship when it happens and others that it doesn’t.
It’s about trust, open communication, and making the choice to stay honest to the relationship. Just because someone has fun feelings for someone else doesn’t mean they are going to act on them or they don’t love their partner.
FWIW (and I know as internet strangers, it’s not much), I’m that mom person. Have been since I was a kid. I call complete strangers ‘my love’, ‘love bug’, ‘sweetness’ and a zillion other terms of sincere endearment when appropriate… ie in context of how/why we are engaging, when there’s an intrinsic level of care/concern/and yes, even trust… It’s always felt like… I’m not sure exactly… maybe like my humanity meeting theirs in a moment of genuine (however fleeting/short term) camaraderie… Or the ways my brokenness has shaped me, recognizing others who are hurting?
I know I hat just bc I’m the way I am, it doesn’t mean your fiancée is the same… but, you know her, right? Is she a warm person? A person of sincere faith in other people? Deeply empathetic when others are hurting?
And in what context is she texting this colleague? The surface level “he’s gay and going through a breakup” sounds like just the sort of situation in which I might use overly familiar terms of endearment to exemplify my care/concern… Has she spoken of this colleague before? As in, does she talk with you about anything that would indicate they’ve gotten to know each other enough that they could consider each other friends, or building a friendship? Have you been included in her mental landscape around him?
Or is this perhaps out of character for her… Or you’ve never heard of this person before seeing the texts/being asked if he can bunk with you regularly? Is she secretive, or withdrawn, or uncomfortable when talking about him? Do you have any previous experiences with having been hurt or betrayed, by her or anyone else? Has she ever giver you reason not to trust her?
And most importantly, what does your gut say? Look deeper… underneath any anxiety/brain spin-out/reflexive worry/“but it usually means cheating if … and see how you really-really feel underneath it all. No bs.
And go from there.
None of us can tell you if she’s being a good friend and you’re uncomfortable bc you need reassurance or a boundary or simply to be included, or if there’s something more sketchy afoot.
So yeah, like everyone else has already said: talk with her. Try not to go in very hot. Try to go in with an open mind. And then remove yourself if you need to. But at least you’ll have given yourself the chance to really hear her out, either way?
Hoping for the best for you, OP!
I don’t blame you for going away at all. This is your family’s fault you left. They lied to you. They deceived you and blame you for your actions still? Just wow. Burn the letter.