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Oh yeah drop em both cause what happens if you hit the dumps in the marriage. She going to go back and fuck him again? Yeah I rather run my shin against a steel bed bracket
He reminds me of my mother.
I only have money because she no longer has access to my accounts, otherwise she'd spend everything on replacing phones that she thinks are compromised. She also locked me out of the house once she became convinced that I was working with the conspiracies.
If you decide to stay, keep camping equipment and food in your car and just hope he doesn't turn on you in winter. It's possible to freeze to death overnight.
Now you do what you SHOULD have done when you first decided to be socially
active and date. You sit-down and you consider where you want to be in 10 years.
Thats right. You first question is Nothing about who to date.
Your first question is about Life and what you want out of it.
If you are bound and determined to find an SO, then you need to be thinking
about what Kind of SO and what You will bring to the Bond.
Look around and identify someone whose Life you admire and start
finding out how they got to where they are.
You have had the luck of being lazy about this shit and for your sins you
are bottom. Now pull up yer “Big Girl pants” and build a life for YOU
and noone else.
I suppose I will know my answer after I try to talk to him tonight. I'm thinking of writing down everything in a letter so that he can't ignore it. I don't know what else to do at this point. I always wanted to have a loving family for my baby but if he isn't willing to do better for us, I will do it myself. My childs happiness is worth more than anything
Going through a similar situation myself. Had to cut off the controlling abusive rents who have isolated themselves socially and have no friends or other children. Not my problem!
Thank you so much. I did end up receiving medical attention to confirm the miscarriage itself. And I have heard of postpartum depression, of course, but im unsure if it affected me after in the same way. But thank you, you did explain the feeling quite well.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, just reading this makes me feel better
It could be he has feelings for you and seeing you with a husband is too much to take. In that scenario he needs to completely distance himself from you as you can't be friends with someone if you're jealous of not being with them
If you're less than 14 weeks along, an abortion will be done via 2 pills. It will not affect your fertility. It's your choice, of course, but try to stay away from propaganda sites on the matter. I had a friend who had an abortion this way and went on the have 2 beautiful baby girls 2 years after, with a better man!
You should prob be alone
Yeah, it's been over a month without speaking. I'm not planning on reaching out to her at all.
Yeah dude, trust your gut on this one, sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Interesting, but still, they are supposed to believe in the literal version of the Bible. Like Adam and Eve, no evolution, Noah's ark, and all that. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't have the logic to question how this could be true when it's obviously impossible. Also honestly as a nurse and a frequent blood donor, the idea of turning down a blood transfusion for yourself or your child is pretty f'd up when the Bible doesn't even say anything about it. I wouldn't want this to be an issue down the road and I wouldn't want to lose my partner over it when blood could save their life. Plus I'm completely against any purity culture, it fucks up sex even after marriage.
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So therapy is always awesome, I’ve been seeing the same therapist for 6-7 years now. I think everyone would benefit from it. You would too.
Second, a text saying “I’m home safe, chat tomorrow!” is completely, 100% reasonable. My husband of 5 years went to visit his family 45 mins out of town (in Canada we measure distance in time travelled lol) and as soon as he was safe at their house, he gave me a quick call. He also called me when he was about to head home so I’d know when-ish to expect him. He does this happily, to my knowledge. He does it every time he visits them.
I dated a guy who would 100% refuse to tell me when he would arrive at my house. He’s say he left HIS house and then wouldn’t show up for hours. He was also “great” and things were perfect “except for that” but within a year he was screaming at me when I dared to ask for an approximate arrival time. SCREAMING. I would have, very stupidly, stayed with him but I couldn’t handle the thought of him treating my son like that. I realized how much his anger & control had spread, and they were always “reasonable” requests that he made & I would have to follow, but if I dared to make a request, ol Screamy appeared.
I have no advice other than to see if it is TRULY this one thing that bothers you about him.
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Surely will. I guess i just can't get the right timing because of her delaying tactics
I agree completely. Kudos to you!!! Cheers!
Yeah. Stop being so selfish and jealous of a 3 year old. Bear in mind she has no mother figure so she should her dads first priority. If you don’t like it, find someone that doesn’t have a child.
Up to the eyebrows in STD's but yes very remorseful
That is a very good advice, thank you.
“Our issues” are actually HER issues. You’ve been changing trying to be a better person for her. Apparently SHE hasn’t done anything to be a better person for you? She blames you for HER issues. That’s bull. She’s a grown woman and should not be acting like this.
There’s nothing to maneuver, in my opinion. Let the break up stand. She’s ridiculous. Your life will be much more peaceful and happy without her.
“Hey xyz, sleeping with other people isn't a good idea”.
Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Cheers for a speedy recovery.
Once you have rested and recuperated, reach out to him and tell him how you felt very alone, scared, and wanted him to be more present while you were unable to take care of yourself. Then, if he gives you attitude, talks back at you, blows you off, or gives you the silent treatment, you need to be ready to kick him to the nearest curb.
So I will say their relationship was inappropriate, but I probably wouldn't be super committed if my fiance referred to me as “average” and showed little support or effort to support my passions.
Overall it's definitely better this relationship ended, it feels like you guys need something completely different than either of you were offering each other.
Ah, yes, that clarifies everything.
Think of it from your friends POV – perhaps they just care about you and want too know more about your partner and welcome them to the group. It might not be from a place of judgment but just if interest and caring. Maybe they miss you
… Do you not ask follow up questions?
“You need to stop doing this.” “Doing what?” “This!” “Asking why you're hiding your gf from the rest of your life? Is that the 'this' you're referring to? It sounds like a reasonable question given we're supposedly dating.”
“You behave unpredictably!” “Provide an example of what unpredictable behavior I display that is so concerning that you're keeping me a secret. And then I can provide examples of the way you act shady.”
“If you're not willing to admit you have a gf and that I'm her to people that are active participants in your life… Why are we dating? Why exactly should I stay in this relationship?”
Or, the stress free, low drama route. Especially convenient since you shouldn't have any personal belongings you need to recover from his place and sure as heck shouldn't have any comingled expenses given the circumstances: “Lose my number.” and block.
If she gives up one kid for adoption, no way she deserves the others
My fiancé proposed not even a year into our relationship. 5 years is plenty of time to at least know if you want to marry a person. If you propose you don’t have to marry right away, it’s just showing that you WANT to and plan on marrying her. If you don’t want to commit to her let her go. Waiting until 10+ years in isn’t reasonable in my opinion.
I find it concerning when single parents introduce their kids to people who they just started dating and barely know.
It’s great to see you are taking parenting seriously.
Do what you think is best.
Welcome to the land of the free! /s
I would want to know. I ended my marriage over a similar situation but he is one out of three officers in my entire town and im really worried he would make my life very difficult. Especially because I met him through my ex stalking me and he could easily blame something bad happening to me on him
Lawyer here who happens to be Nonmonogamous. I am not your lawyer. I do not represent you. I will not answer legal questions.
First, ignore these people shaming you for agreeing to ENM. Relationships end ALL the time, monogamous or not, you did nothing wrong entering into a consensual ENM arrangement. It’s more common than people realize.
Second, take advantage of the numbness to act. As soon as you are able, book consultations with three divorce lawyers and find one who seems experienced in handling marital dissolutions with businesses involved. Check out their Google reviews.
Third, remember any arrangements your husband is offering now in his guilt may not last. Time is not your friend. Act quickly while he is being amicable before greed and resentment start building. Divorces get MORE ugly with time not better.
Act swiftly. Please hire a therapist to help you get through this. It will rock your homeostasis trying to keep it together while going through upheaval.
You will be okay. Please act quickly and please take care of yourself.
He’s an asshole. He wants to punish you for having options other than him before you were exclusive. Now he is committed, and this is fully cheating. He is literally just doing this to be “equal” because his ego is bruised. This is not a good dude.
Tell him you are glad he changed, and you hope he treats his next girlfriend with love and care. But you are allergic to him. That he has poisoned your feelings towards him. Tell him to please leave you alone, and wish him the best. Then block him.
I see 295 comments of people telling you to leave him. I understand if you don’t want to leave it might be very hot to accept the truth, but you need to open your mind. If you want advice, it’s here.
Just tell him? He's 31 years old and you're not his mom. “I don't care if you masturbate but it's waking me up.”
Seriously that was vaguely forgivable a generation ago when you might not have grown up with access to a computer but now you're just hopeless if you're hunting and pecking
Dump her and find someone who isn't violent.
That’s why he’s not reaching out to ur wife to warn her about ur conversation
That’s the thing, he says he cares more about my feelings, if I need a break where I don’t see anybody, he will understand but still he just comes to visit (when I say I just need a weekend by myself) and cries bc he was worried, and cries the whole weekend because I said I wanted to be by myself.
So I don’t think he understand where I’m coming from with it, and just want to be with me 24/7, and can’t understand when I stand my ground and say no
It's NOT the “broken family” that causes trauma!
It's adults with responsabilities, who act as if they had NONE.
Please, dont let your past make you stay in this unbearable marriage, if you come to a point where you just can't take anymore!
Btw… where is your daughter, when her mother booz… umh….influences?
And suuuuure …. it's about kiddies security she takes her photos down.
You took quite some bs from her.
yeah, but he remembers my face. soo i’m curious why he would think it’s nice to keep asking me for my name. like i would never do that to someone
It's all good mate! Pretty sound advice for a similar situation with an older kid though ☺️
You can always get a quote from an actual maid service. Prepare a budget that accommodates the maid service, and an alternate budget that doesn't. And have an honest discussion.
I did this, and we opted for the maid service, gave up some other stuff and it was a great decision for our marriage. We're not eating out much, but we're also not arguing ; and I'm not cleaning.