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mr.showoff, 20 y.o.
Location: California, United States
Room subject: Cumming
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I’m gonna hang in a room full of very hot women, babe, no it’s only team building, no biggie. Oh you don’t like it maybe we shouldn’t be together.
Yeah the above sounds pretty shitty tbh if the situation were reversed. It sounds shitty anyway like this guy’s feelings are invalidated and he can just shut up and deal with it.
What he is doing isn't about 'care' or whatever. He was just jealous and being controlling and abusive. Holding you in place, getting in your face and screaming [assault], spitting at your car, hitting walls… and let's be real that I am sure you've noticed all of this is escalating as well. That this is new and instead of reflecting he defaulted to victim blaming, false equivalence, 'you made me do it' and etc.
At best this dynamic brings out the worst in both of you. I am sure you don't like who he makes you and he should definitely not be okay with what he is becoming. And the fact that he is apparently more than happy to lean into abuser rhetoric to rationalise and downplay all this? Well, this is how physically abusive dynamics happen. He punches and spits around you, screams in your face, how long before he combines the two especially as clearly he has demonstrated he will get physical by restraining you.
I suspect you are caught in a loop. A trauma bond loop where anytime he senses you are about to leave he says what you want to hear, pays lip service to growth and you feel so validated by it you drop your guard. But he has made clear that at this trajectory things will get significantly worse. You already should have left, but if that wasn't enough this should be.