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Get into therapy to talk through these feelings.
I also used the anxiety and depression workbook by Michael Thompkins. It gave me alot of good coping methods for dealing with my anxiety.
I also picked up hobbies that helped distract me like knitting, crochet, baking. Things that kept my hands busy and mind focused.
I'm a nurse too, it will be 24 years in June. It is a stress inducing job. Getting help now will help in the long run. Don't bottle things up. (I speak from experience)
I commend you for reaching out, and wish you luck.
At what point is the wife accountable for her own actions? How far would she have to go during this “photoshoot” before you finally think, “OK she should have known better.”