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Birth Date: 1996-12-06
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I think you missed the point.
He shouldn’t be telling his wife he doesn’t find her attractive and only sexy women live! do it for him.
Obviously, there will be ebbs and flows in a relationship where attraction will vary. The key is trying to make your partner feel like they are wanted and desirable; that goes for both men and women.
Don’t apologize, it will only add to his false sense of being betrayed. You owed him nothing at that point. He needs to grow up
DO IT!! She deserves closure! And you deserve petty revenge!!! You absolute queen!! 😀
DO IT!! She deserves closure! And you deserve petty revenge!!! You absolute queen!! 😀
Please leave. This honestly sounds like it could turn into a really unhealthy or abusive relationship.
I think you should get yourself into therapy as soon as possible. Maybe so it can help you navigate this current situation but mostly because you really need to take a cold naked look at your penchant for shitty relationships. Because I gotta tell ya, marrying a guy you've only been dating a few months is reckless as hell and classic self-sabotage. It reeks of an almost manic desperation to find that 'fairytale' relationship, as though it would save you somehow. Also, marrying a guy after a few months when you have kids is, quite frankly, dangerous as hell. That is incredibly poor and alarming judgment for a parent to have.
Tossing a toy is NOT abuse. Beating the dog with one would be. The dog wasn't abused by your account.
I didn’t propose till our ten year anniversary. Just saying. Going in 4 years happily married
This, Thank you! My boyfriend and I went through something similar (we were never LD though) and he was a lot more willing to hear my side and why I was feeling that way. We were able to come to a compromise, shortly after his libido started getting better. It had just been so long since he had a consistent sex partner that it took him a while to get in the groove. Honestly I'd say he libido is stronger than mine now.
What’s her job?
If you both stick to this position, it's going to be a dealbreaker.
But you're pretty young. I didn't want kids at that age, nor did my now-wife. We changed our minds in our late 20's.
You've been scammed. Cancel the application, ASAP. Do everything you can to separate yourself from this scammer. If you get the opportunity, report her to the INS.
Bro, there's a 20y fed prison sentence to falsifying a visa app in this way. All it takes is for her or someone she knows to tell an INS agent that you two faked the 'ship and you're in for trouble. The worst that will happen to her is deportation and she clearly is fine where she is. If you go through with this and she decides it serves her purposes, she can turn you in for lying to get her into the country. This also leaves you open to blackmail, extortion and abuse from her or people she knows.
There's a whole world of visa/green card scams out there. You caught thus early enough to get out less-scathed. Run.
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It's her idea to have an open relationship, but you can't kiss another girl if she's around?
She's thinking about leaving you over one drunken mistake yet you're the love of her life?
I'm concerned about your alcohol consumption being problematic (putting you in way worse potential situations than you're in now), and I'm concerned you're dating someone who's hypocritical and unforgiving.
Resolve to moderate your consumption from hereafter and seek help if you have trouble doing that. And really think about this relationship with someone who's thrown you into an open relationship with unclear boundaries but now making you feel so awful.
Leave both of them. Your husband sees you and sees dollar signs.
I just think it’s messed up how he kept it up for a year lying about his body count and made up stories about sex with the 3 people he dated (one of them a hookup) he would lie about the details when I asked and would create stories. I think it’s bad that he did that.
Whatever you do, don't open your relationship. I can see the follow-up post where we find out she slept with someone else and you are devastated.
It's not the type of relationship you want. So don't settle for it. Either break up or try to work through it.
Bingo!
I'd be annoyed too. You're reacting as though she shot heroin. But if it's something you're not ok with, you can always break off the relationship.
At minimum just leave her some nice texts to read and don't call so she can just come to you when she feels she has the right space or admit some things to you. “Hey beautiful, I love you heading to the store to grab snacks and I'll be thinking of you I miss you haven't been feeling good lately” and you can call her out on not calling you things too girls like when you notice things like that. Distance is good unless one of you really messed up but it's up to that person to try and mend things. So you try distance (but loving) while she comes to you or tries to mend things. You do have you own life so focus on your personal development. I see a lot of people not grow themselves because they're left waiting in the same spot their partner left them.
At minimum just leave her some nice texts to read and don't call so she can just come to you when she feels she has the right space or admit some things to you. “Hey beautiful, I love you heading to the store to grab snacks and I'll be thinking of you I miss you haven't been feeling good lately” and you can call her out on not calling you things too girls like when you notice things like that. Distance is good unless one of you really messed up but it's up to that person to try and mend things. So you try distance (but loving) while she comes to you or tries to mend things. You do have you own life so focus on your personal development. I see a lot of people not grow themselves because they're left waiting in the same spot their partner left them.
The things about toxic people is that you fight a lot, which also means you make up a lot. I doubt that she is a more exciting person, but rather the drama she always created was exciting.
I think there’s nothing else to be done except tell him you saw it and you’re hurt. Talk to him about it. Or if you want to make it “exciting” you can set his stuff on fire and go ballistic! /s
Everyone here has known me that long, I have watched baby's even grow to toddlers. Also why would he when he acts more like a child than even men my age?
lol
You’re CONSIDERING ending the relationship?? LOL. He already ended. Get the fuck out of there. Your boyfriend is a shitty human being.
When a woman is obviously not interested, you leave her alone. Why on Earth is this even a question?
Yeah well that's the consequence of posting the dirty laundry of your relationship live!. You know you might feel like a major boundary was crossed but so does he with you posing the stuff live!.
Oh my gosh, I had a lot of empathy for him and just thought he might not realize how selfish and self-pitying he's coming off, but now after reading that, it has evaporated.
First find your backbone. Your wife is garbage and is mentally torturing you. Gather evidence and contact an attorney. File for divorce and ghost her.
It seems to me that the easiest way to avoid all of this is to NOT confront him, then. You said in another comment you already have evidence, so logically speaking, how could confronting him benefit you?
he thinks that all awards are participation trophies, and probably was a large reason why he wasn't promoted
That so called friend of yours is a predator. Get away from him.
I mean, if my wife got into running I’d support her, but only because I love her and want to be a good husband.
I have zero interest in watching anyone else run, and would rather be doing anything else instead.
My free time and sleep is already in shambles though, so I treat the little time I get as precious.
Support at a 5k isn’t just standing around for 20 minutes though, you also have to factor in travel time and potentially multiple waves of runners that can easily turn that 20 minutes into a 2 hour commitment. Half marathon can easily push into a 3 or 4 hour commitment.
I don’t really want to donate half a Saturday a month of my time doing something I won’t enjoy.
This but un-ironically. The only thing that stops a bully is someone letting them know they are not to be fucked with.
Thats definitely something we’re talking about because this did highlight a lot of stuff that we both need to address.
I mean, obviously, I don’t exactly feel soothed by how our conversation went, but I do understand why he reacted the way he did, especially given the history he has with his ex. She was with him for 2 years, cheated on him the entire time, and when it started to get serious, she left him with a baby. I think getting put in a situation where you start seeing the flags that popped up in that previous situation, it triggers something in you and he’s always been a little bit scrappy.
I don’t want to sound like I’m excusing what he did, because he definitely did hurt me and this is going to take time to recover from, but I guess things just look different when you’re actually in the marriage.
Thank you for your answer!
I know I can't fix it for him, but I want to try. I'm trying to be very careful around his feelings but he needs to understand that he's hurting me with what he does.
Everytime after it's over we agree to not let that happen again and that he'll talk to me next time but he never does. It makes me sad.
If you aren't strong enough to handle a rejection, you shouldn't be dating. This sort of thing happens. If it makes you unable to function day to day, seek therapy.
Listen, I'm the first person to come here and say that opposite sex platonic friendships can absolutely work, including with exes. But like anything else, context matters.
Unfortunately, you logically know in context that your partner is completely full of shit. Every time she responds, it's a new lie.
You should care that she's speaking to her ex. Why? Because they're not friends. He asked her to fuck weeks back but she's talked to him as recently as today. Even if she actually responded to him with a rejection (she didn't), why would she continue to talk to him given his complete disrespect of her and her relationship? Why would she disrespect you by continuing to talk to something trying to hook up with her?
Is this the first questionable thing in four years you've dealt with?
She was physically abusive to us growing up. In her mind, she was doing it to discipline us. But now, i could never understand how she could punch, drown and kick us and think it would help us be better people.
How is this a blurb compared to rest of the post? This and the parts where she emotionally and verbally abuses you should take up 80% and the rest should focus on the other men. I'm not trying to trivialize the other stuff but traumatizing you and your siblings is absolutely first in line.
Your mother abused and abused you. If she's still does this (especially the physical stuff) to your younger siblings, I'm sorry, but you have to call CPS ASAP. When your siblings are safe, you need to get away from her, go NC, and get into therapy as quickly as possible.
If a partner doesn't put you above their family, leave!
I am in therapy. I never assaulted someone I was with before him. This is all very new to me. I was I a very toxic relationship from 14-21 to someone a lot older than me. He's the first guy I've dated my age. I wish I wasn't insane
God did you a favor and didn't allow you to have a baby with either one of these POS.
First of all the idea that people can't cheat with members of the same gender is, at the very least homophobic or biphobic. It's also generally rooted in misogyny.
She cheated. She had sex with someone that wasn't you when you had an agreement otherwise.
You do exactly what you would have done if she had fucked a man.
I think when somebody cheats in a relationship like this you just got to throw in the towel. You're 25 years old. Do you really want to spend the next 25 years wondering if she's going to fuck somebody if she goes out with friends?
It would be different if she had discussed non-monogamy with you before doing things. But if she cheated once in one ways she's likely going to do it again. Even if you decide non-monogamy is the way to go.
A lot of people are actually blown away that you can cheat in non-monogamous relationships. Generally that sort of thing is regarding sexual barriers like condoms.
You apparently can't even understand the basic rules of a reddit sub.
I dated a guy once who boasted about having a threesome with 2×18 year old girls. I was repulsed and after he dropped me home I declined to meet him again. He was close to 30 and no amount of explaining ever made me change my mind over how disgusting I found it.
For real.
I went on a date with a guy like this. It was our second date and since the first had gone pretty well I had a good feeling. We got to talking about past relationships and he mentioned his last girlfriend was 18. We were both 32.
When I tell you my skin felt like it was going to crawl right off my body. I should have just ended the date there but I felt awkward. He tried to initiate touching and hugging a few times and I felt so repulsed that the second time he put his arm around my waist I batted him off and said I had to go home because I didn't feel well. Which was true, after the whole “my last girlfriend was a teenage girl” thing him touching me honestly did make me feel a bit queasy.
I was starting to get the impression I was more a FWB versus actual SO, but the immediate Naked to Cold out of the blue is what was confusing me.
For her 700 a month for rent, full split of utilities,
you pay all the taxes.
She pays less rent as you are building up equity
She benefits, sure, but he benefits more. Having a roof over your head doesn’t mean his home is the only place to live!. That’s no reason to just shell out half someone’s mortgage. There are other ways to divide up the expenses that are more fair. She could pay all the utilities and cable, things she actually uses equally and which no one has ownership of.
The thing is… the things he’s saying could either be his misguided way of complimenting you or it could mean something deeper. I wouldn’t make your mind up just yet, if he says anything similar just say “stop being gross it’s weirding me out” and that might make him realise it’s inappropriate. The “west a low cut shirt” comment was probably him just thinking it would get you a deal lol The only comment I think I’d be weirded out by is the one about growing your hair and gin leaving your mum for you. Honestly, the rest just seem like boomer compliment.
I have a boyfriend