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Birth Date: 1985-12-02
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You figure out how you can leave. Then make plans to do so.
Or you open the relationship and stay together.
Or you decide you’re okay as things are an that you’re okay staying with a cheater.
Those are really your three options here I think. So what do you want?
Not saying I'm mature, just saying being 17 years old is not an excuse for being a jerk by not supporting your partner in tough times.
You may not have”meant” to be rude and condescending. But everything you wrote back to me was, and was taken that way
You really know nothing about human beings, or how to deal with them, particularly your husband.
We will try this again. If you want something private its on you to make sure it stays that way. Its your fault for making it accessible
When you write about someone and they read it they are always going to focus on that portion of the writing.
Honestly the way you are putting it i think you wanted him to find it so he could say “poor, poor you” and your just mad he didn't
You need to communicate what you're feeling. Especially regarding her being in control, that's not healthy. If she is unable to see your point, move on.
I'm so sorry for what's happened to you man, but I am intensely proud hearing you say that. You deserve so much better and I know sooner or later you'll find someone who truly loves you.
Stay strong my man!
Why? Do you suddenly become dead once you hit 30 or have kids? Plenty of people go out at all ages. Hell, my 60 year old mother goes out with her friends who are significantly younger.
I agree with Ok-Bit. It’s the communication that’s been fucked up from the start
It's only been 3 months. She's showing you who she is… Believe it.
Break up
Sounds more like an r/trueoffmychest post if all you're gonna do is vent about how you regret cheating. There really isn't any advice anyone can give you other than do the women and families of these women a favor and leave them alone.
She's just manipulating you. Break up. And block her everywhere.
I've tried to leave before, I came back because I was practically homeless and my children were misbehaving terribly after being uprooted from their lives. I want them to be comfortable but I am afraid that it's at my expense.
Oh dear
To have spent the entirety of the 4-year relationship as long distance and only see each other once per year must be excruciating. When are you two planning to on-line in the same city?
This relationship is over. It is toxic and I don’t sense any love. He’s crossing verbal boundaries to try and got where it hurts. You’re throwing things. He’s physically assaulting you. You want to know what you do? You break up. Don’t get hung up with sunk cost fallacy, leave.
Personally, is trying back with “I thought I was in a relationship, but lately it feels like I'm babysitting,” but that's just me. Seriously though, tell her to use her words or you can use yours to tell her you're done.
She may have said yes, but her her heart says “monogamy.”
This is going to be a clusterfuck regardless of who her bf hooks up with.
It's going to be a million times more drama-llama-centric if you're in the middle.
You don't have to try them to know how you feel about them. Your post and comments show you don't want drugs in your life.
He promised he would stop and he is now saying he won't. This is black and white.
So you thought it was about your dick size when she literally told you she hasnt finished with any of her other partners? Wouldnt that indicate that the issue is not at all about you?
Oral doesnt do much for a lot of women. A vibrator directly on the clit for that long can often make it feel numb rather than enjoyable.
I wouldn't doubt that your girl feels a lot of pressure in the bedroom because she knows you want to make her finish and she doesnt think she can so she feels she is disappointing you, even if subconscious. Make her feel good emotionally.
Tell him you want a hug. Tell him to kiss you. If he doesn't respond well make it a request or a conversation. No one teaches us much more than always get consent and be confident (often with no further explanation). If he has never been in a relationship he doesn't know when its ok to touch you and may not know if its safe to ask you. Men are expected to just know these things, but where did he learn them and from who?
I agree with above.
She was in love with the attention of a wedding. Now that's over, she wants nothing to do with the MARRAGE.
Right now, you are doing the “Pick Me” dance.
You were doing all the work, paying all the bills, etc. Now you are doing even more trying to get her to “Pick You” over whatever she might be messing with on the side.
Since you haven't been married quite a year, you may have a shot at annulment, depending on country/culture.
Look up 'The 180° Turn' (or something similar).
This is where you do the exact opposite of what you are doing (and ironically, what she has already done to you).
Work on yourself, cut her out of your life as much as possible. Go get your own bank account, pay your half of the bills from an account she can't access. Nothing more… No extras, no presents, no shopping money/lunch dates with her friends, no extras at all.
Change all your passwords, and I mean ALL. Cancel any joint credit cards and have new ones reissued in your name only. This includes bank debit cards.
Stop touching, talking other than yes/no, and discussing joint business. Treat her like an aggravating roommate.
See your friends & family, do not include her. They are used to it anyway since she's been gone so much.
If you can get away with it, sleep on the couch or spare bedroom. When she notices/complains say she's been so distant/cold/stressed you simply didn't want to giver her more issues to deal with. (Vague, but she'll get the message)
I don't know your country, but if legal separation is a thing, consider it.
Its going to take a BIG slap to get her back to reality, and if this 180° turn doesn't do it, then nothing else will, proceed with thw separation and divorce.
Make headway NOW, the longer you wait, the more involved and expensive it gets, the more problems she can create.
I'm guessing she's got a guy or two on the side. Probably someone from her past at her parent's town, and maybe someone at work.
Be prepared for that, its WAY more common than anyone thinks. Something like 68% of women admit to cheating in some form on their spouse (about the same as men), and those are just the ones that admit it…
Wedding money, GONE. Support money, GONE. Time & effort, GONE. You have to decide if you are going to put more time, money, effort into what is clearly failed or cut off the hemorrhage and save yourself.
It can go either way, she might come around, see you aren't going to be a doormat/whipping boy, or you get divorced, either way you will have 'Fixed' the problem. One fix is permanent, the other may very well be temporary.
YOU can't tell what idiot ideas are running around in her head, self entitled people often go on to cheat/abuse/repeat the same behavior. Do you want to take the risk of this happening all over again later in life when there are childern involved, you aren't nearly as young and everything is hopelessly tangled?
Risk/Benifit analysis time…
It’s Overwatch. I wish she’d stop playing if it’s gonna constantly piss her off. Even when she’s playing for fun, there are times she gets pissed at it.
I don't believe in psychiatrists. They're just people who went to school for too long and think they know everything. I don't need a shrink to tell me that my turtle is up to something fishy.
He says she should be killed to protect the honour of the family.
He should go and live! in Afghanistan then.
he told me he’d kill our future daughter if he needed to protect his family’s name. He said he’d kill me too if i tried to stop him or call the police.
Normally I would say that your reaction should be: “Okay, we're over. We're never going to get married and we're never going to have children. ” But you should be concerned for your safety. If he sees you as “something” he should be allowed to kill when you inconvenience him, then he is not relationship material.
Please, get somewhere safe and stop dating this guy. Do you have family you can contact? Where do you online? Can you contact authorities?
I’ve tried to but she’s seeing red a bit right now. I feel as though it’s not impossible to salvage but I don’t know.
He slept with a MTF? Girl, run.
Yes, get a prenup. I would advise anyone to get one, it protects both parties. And I would drop a 30 year old who dated a teenager in a heartbeat. Good luck.
She's a friend of a friend, he has ways to contact her. He just doesn't want to try.
This baby is his child and he's decided not to care about them. This is his daughter's sibling and he's comfortable never being involved in their life or letting his daughter know them.