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Model from: ua
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1922-01-01
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
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I had an ex like this. I ended up getting stuck with him for 5 and a half years because I kept caving when he did stuff like this. Obviously, he never ended up killing himself. He never ended up following through with the hundreds of other threats he made on himself. He's still out there, abusing other women I'm sure. The gift is his way of trying to weasel back into your life. Don't accept it. Block him and don't respond to any of his messages. You have legal grounds to get a restraining order against him. Do that if you have to.
I just started reading a book that was recommended by someone else on this sub (in another thread) called Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. The Kindle version is only like 10 bucks right now. I would recommend this book to anyone who's been in an abusive relationship. If you read it I think you'll start to see a lot of similarities between your ex and the guys in the book.
I love throwing people under the bus. Stop being a doormat
Everything you are describing is normal behavior for a young cat. They are not bad cats. Cats can also become bonded and get super depressed/sick if they are separated. You should look up more info to see if your cats may be bonded. But even if they arent bonded, it would still be dumb to get rid of your cat to please a man who sounds like a manipulative cheating piece of garbage. Break up with him and find someone who respects you and your cats.
If you want, also ask her this:
“It sounds like there’s a lot on your plate right now. Is there any way I can support you during this stressful time?”
Hey OP, i just went through your posts and it really seems like you aren’t enjoying your school or school in general. Is it because you feel like you’re struggling or because you really just aren’t interested? There’s so many other majors, other schools, and other options other than school! I see you mentioned your parents also always expect perfection — if you choose to stay away from your mom could you to look at schools/majors/other careers instead? If you really are thinking this much about not enjoying something, it isn’t worth it. Going to school for something that you don’t have even a little bit of enjoyment, interest or passion towards isn’t fair to yourself. You deserve better than to suffer through something just to impress your parents or anyone else but yourself!
She should definitely get an abortion. You're both way too young and too early into the relationship to raise a child together. And also, it's clearly not a solid foundation for a relationship.
Though I personally wouldn't jump to the conclusion she's a pathological cheater, there's no harm in taking a paternity test before signing anything, if it comes to that. I'd strongly advise you to talk to her about getting an abortion, though.
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Break up in person. Tell her honestly what you feel.
You’re not well, are you under a psychiatrist’s care? Your priority needs to be your mental health. And your BF should likely move on, this ain’t a time for you to be in a relationship. Perhaps when you are well, you two can see if reconnecting makes sense. You need serious help , pls get it for yourself.
He is 31 and cannot make it clear when he breaks up as opposed to taking a break?! You are so much better without him. And also it was probably more of a power move than anything else really.
??????????
My wife and I do couples therapy and it's great, totally worth it, though he may be resistant.
Respect on being open sexually.
Time away from each other is super important. Try and go out with your girls and have him go out with his boys. I find that when my wife and I have our nights out with our friends we come back refreshed and yearning to be together. (Nothing like a late night hookup with your partner whose been waiting for you to get home)
Kids make things complicated, I get it. So definitely tap into whatever network of family/friends you have so that you and the hubbie can get one night out a month
That’s completely understandable. Relationship dynamics can often change because of important events in our lives. Relationships often end because of them as well. When one individual changes, and the other doesn’t change or adapt with them, conflict will happen.
You need to take care of yourself first though. And do what’s best for your own happiness and mental well-being.
The incredibly low standards are actually painful to read. Not everyone in the world is like this. Trust me when I say, you will be much better off alone than with a bf like this. You can meet someone better, someone you can actually trust, I’m sure of it.
Throw the whole guy out.
You’re not choosing between them both. Your girlfriend will be fine and safe either way. Your sister may not be. I know what I’d choose.
The girlfriend is not telling the sister to fuck off, she just doesn’t want OP to move out or the sister to move in, both of those are extreme options, there are many other options to help the sister
Well he’s tried telling me that we agreed on not letting the dogs on the carpet at this new house i don’t recall that but i may have jokingly cause the other carpet in our old place was dirty. But we got it professionally cleaned. And i tried telling him that if they weren’t allowed on the bed/couch we’d of had to train them as puppies and never allow them on it but it’s cruel now to not let them because i think they think they’ve done something wrong
I know that messages can be retrieved. I know he can seek justice. But I was stating the facts. Look what happened to Johnny Depp. He is a well known actor,millionaire, victim of domestic violence and he was drugged years threw the mud because of his gender.
Look at this post how many people are quick to dismiss it because he is a man and most likely he cheated and it went bad.
Tell your parents what’s going on. I’m sure they’d pay for half.
The price is worth it. It’ll show that you’re serious.
If you want to keep enabling your husband, than keep doing what you’re doing. Men literally don’t realize you’re completely fed up unless you remove yourself from the picture—even temporarily.
You want your original husband back? Fucking leave and make him beg for you back. Otherwise, this is your life now.
He sounds like a child. He wants to blow up all of your lives but doesn’t want it to be his fault. Damn.
Having a dog, mutual friends, being together for several years aren’t good enough reasons to carry on an unhappy relationship. Neither of you seem happy anymore. You may care for her, but it doesn’t mean you have to be her boyfriend to care about her. You haven’t written anything that makes it really seem like you actually want to carry on a relationship with her.
And they’re oh so shocked at America’s tipping culture. It is what it is, get with the program or don’t go out to eat.
So in 5 years you can afford to drop 50 grand? That's rich and if you want kids that could go to so many things. Kids are expensive af. She has the right of it and if you value your hobbies over her do her a favor and don't marry her.
Yeah, this is done, OP. She's gone. You two are no longer compatible.
Besides, think about this: if she's this easily swayed by some low-grade tik-tok videos, what does that tell you about her stability as a partner? It means that you wouldn't be able to count on her if things in life get rough. She can be easily talked into/out of things. You need a solid rock, not someone wishy-washy. Most likely, this is all for the best.
Is that even possible? I just got divorced myself, and although I decided to go back to my maiden name (bc my children are grown and I don't want to be associated with it), I seriously doubt he could enforce something like that. Sounds like the BF is an ass.
Absolutely. I mean, you can never be too careful right! He could be funnelling money away from his legitimate family to support the affair partner. There’s just no way to know these things. But we’re definitely not accusing you of cheating!
You're right, he's dying on a weird hill with this one. I'm curious though, does he have any word for a casual instance of stuttering?
She would be my ex wife after all that
Heartbreak builds character. Use it as a life lesson that hardens and fuels you. Get some hobbies. Start working out. Do interesting things. Stop comparing yourself to people.
Here's an idea – being a new parent is not the time to be going to a goddamn strip club and then telling several lies after being caught by your spouse. This shit is all on the husband. She doesn't owe him jack shit and she and her son would be better off with this creep.
Well, not unless they’re also Gay/bi?
End the relationship.
She would rather get drunk off free drinks by creeps, than have a few drink and enjoy a night out with her friends and boyfriend.
Chances are she would have continued to drink free drinks until she passed out, or was kicked out of the club.
I wouldn’t be surprised to find that in the past that she has gone home with some of them, regardless if she was in a relationship or not, as her behaviour, especially the lie about telling the creep her BF was behind her, and didn’t mind him buying her a drink.
He lied about being married though
Choosing not to date parents is way better than marrying a parent and sending the kid away. In fact, that’s what your husband should have done if he doesn’t want to online with kids that aren’t his.
You very much need to talk to him, with her present,and get the fucking copies off of his computer, his naked drive,the cloud and all of that. You very much need to know what happened during the shoot but that's a discussion you need to have with your wife. Furthermore if they had an actual session then there would have been a contract that would protected both of them. From what I've been told by those who have had these shoots with boudoir photos those rights and pictures go to the client only and aren't to be retained/kept by the photographer.
He doesn't sound like he kept professional and I would honestly be worried about those photos getting shared nvm if he was “helping her pose” during the shoot. Broach that talk as well very carefully
You and your wife are going to need to have a long talk and work on your relationship. She didn't just break your trust with this and she's got a lot to rebuild.
? You have to be a troll. Bc she orgasmed with a big dildo she doesn't like smaller dicks?
Tell me you know nothing about women w/o telling me you know nothing about women.
I'm going to delete my comments and send op a msg directly, you can assume things to get up votes….
Talk to a lawyer. If she’s willing to abandon the kid, you need to consider whether you want her around.
Dump him my goodness
Have you seen the other posts
I'm sorry it took what it did for him to change, but I am glad he did. For his sake as well as yours, I could tell how deeply you love him. Be well. Congrats on the sobriety
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My ex accidentally emotionally cheated on me. He didn’t mean me harm but his best friend was his ex girlfriend and he didn’t tell me a lot about their relationship. I knew he stayed with her frequently, every other week for ~5 days but didn’t know until 8 months in that they slept in the same bed and cuddled (and held hands in public, changed in front of each other, etc.) He didn’t think that’d bother me. I also didn’t know until then that they’d promised to always be each other’s priority regardless of new partners. He said he shouldn’t have promised that and took it back, which she agreed with.
When I first met her, she saw that we were closer than she thought and was upset by it. I guess he didn’t tell her that we were more serious, and she felt threatened by it. She spent the whole night drunk and crying, and he soothed her. I hardly saw him all night. He spent almost all of it with her. She belittled me the next morning when sober in front of him and his friends. He spent the next week with her trying to repair their friendship and hold her accountable, went to therapy with her, stayed at her place, etc. I told him it bothered me before he went but he thought it was important for our relationship.
After I found out about the cuddling we had a ton of conflict. Everyone, including her, was telling him to just stop cuddling her, and he felt that if he did he was letting me control him. He eventually stopped and looked back and saw how silly it was, but that conflict really took a toll on our relationship. We tried very naked to continue with her in the picture but any boundaries I requested were met with pushback. He eventually came up with reasonable boundaries for their relationship on his own, which felt promising, but he didn’t enforce them which made it seem that they weren’t true to him.
After all of this, I snapped when he spent a long weekend away with her at a wedding and instead of coming home to spend Sunday with me, he went to her place to spend more time with her. I told him I couldn’t be with him if they remained friends. This may have been over the top and I regret it. He obviously didn’t want to end their friendship, but he did have a betrayal he’d hidden from her for years that he felt he needed to tell her and when he did, she stopped talking to him for some time.
We had a nice few months without worrying about her, but he did struggle to get close to me without having her as somewhat of an escape hatch. When she reached out again, he and I had been doing really well. After hearing from her, though, he came to me afraid and said “she reached out and I’m worried you don’t want us to be friends.” He kind of pitted me against them instead of trying to work with me. I understand why he reacted that way, but it made me feel hopeless. Like he didn’t care about how I felt.
For months we had more conflict, I told him I couldn’t handle their relationship. He felt that they could have a healthy friendship now. We tried to come to agreements but he consistently pushed for more. He’d agree to no sleepovers and then argue the next day that sleepovers are too important to them. Stuff like that.
By the end, we were in couples counseling and things seemed better. He was more committed to our relationship and showed up for us. We’d agreed that the ex was off the table but he still voiced that he was not happy with that. He also started voicing more concerns about commitment. He told me later that he was suppressing a lot during this time. I was so angry by the end that when he brought up anything about her or anything noncommittal (every other day), the conversation would end up with me exploding or leaving. And after the worst explosion, in which I yelled and said awful things to him, he left me.
I guess now I’m just looking to understand whether we could have made things work with her in the picture. I’m having trouble not blaming myself or seeing myself as a possessive monster. I’ve been wondering if I have BPD or something. I’m just a mess. I could really use some insight if anyone has any to offer. Thanks
Break up already. She just casually forgets to mention that this couple had been trying to involve her in a threesome. Let’s say she didn’t do anything ( which seems unlikely) she still willingly went into the situation knowing there were not pure intentions. That doesn’t look great either.
And yet you are still with him. Leave, if you don't want to be miserable. You stayed knowing what he's doing, it's on you
he’s telling you you’re not worth 1$. Damn girl time to leave.
Right question is are women capable of loving themselves because it's far too many posts like this, it's not 1 incident it's years of mistreating and you're asking are men capable of loving….. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thank you so much, I definitely will and I already feel better. 🙂 I also heard these crushes usually do not last that long and already did an analysis of why it might have happened and what might be missing in our relationship and will definitely talk to my fiance about some aspects that we can work on.
??????? he recorded her without her consent then proceeded to post multiple videos all over the internet over a long period of time. if her employers/friends stumbled across his collection on reddit, her life would be ruined. make a criminal out of someone they obviously otherwise are deeply in love with???? he IS a criminal LMFAO, it doesn’t matter how good of a boyfriend he was if he did something as egregious as this.
this is one of the worst things i’ve read today. i genuinely hope you didn’t read the entire post or something. i don’t understand how you can have “enough” of people telling her to get away from this horrendous person. good day.
You were dumped
Are you ABSOLUTELY sure you are upset about being “betrayed” and not feeling other emotions that are easier to blame on this?
And I don’t mean blame in a bad way I just can’t think of another way to word it. Project?
6 months at sea? She’s going to get her cheeks destroyed by seamen
Get surgery. Get better. Get new GF. In that order.
All you can do is be there for him at this point. It also might be a good idea to have evidence. If he won't do anything even with evidence then all you can do is watch it crash n burn. Then be there to help him pick up the pieces.
Bet he is. Thank you 🙂
My man, you’re 29. If you think your gf is hiding something from you, then you need to confront her. I wouldn’t say she is just from this post alone, but it seems like you already have your suspicions.
Why are you marrying a white woman if you know you have a fetish that’s this important to you? Like, why?
I do this. My boyfriend doesn't care.
Your boyfriend is weird and controlling.
Don’t worry he doesn’t have the skills to anything wrong
What's illegal?
Genuinely distressing I had to look this far down to see someone with a rational differing opinion.
I agree with every point you’ve raised. Very well said.
Does it mean a man doesn't love his girl if he sleeps with another girl but only provides resources, protection and non sexual and sexual time to his girlfriend?
Write him a note when you are disgusted. Get your bike, don't say anything to him and just give him the note and leave. And please don't pull your punches in that note, he is a disgusting man and does not deserve to have a loving family.
No. Unfortunately Leo is in a weird place where real life for him is like internet girls for most other guys. You and I get older; but the girls on the internet are always 20yo. Leo is unusual in that he has enough fame, fortune and looks to always attract women under 25yo – unlike the rest of us.
The downside to that is he has to deal with the wants, needs and emotional maturity of under 25yo women. Not saying its bad, but for us older guys, we're in a very different place mentally – well, most of us are, anyway. So even if we can still appreciate a smokin' naked body on a woman under 25yo we are only seeing it through a screen and don't have to deal with it 24/7 warts , emotions, and all. And vice versa.
….Since WEDNESDAY?!
And you're with this guy why …? Leave. Move back in with your mom if you need to, moms are awesome and she will no doubt be happy to help you.
What this eejit thinks about what you choose to do … nah, that doesn't matter. You just take care of yourself and do what is best for you. HE definitely isn't it.
Yeah not wanting to kiss your own cum doesn’t make you a selfish prick, but nice try. Swing and a miss
Run. If he’s 33 and doing this after 4 years, he is not changing.
Put back the clothes except the lingeries. Put instead ordinary underwear. She’ll find out you know when she opened her suitcase. Either she’ll bring it up or not, but you need to ask her who she intended to show her wearing those.
Sounds like interest to me.
Find a boyfriend who does not use emotional blackmail with you. Also one who isn't going to proudly tell you he is going to cheat if he didn't get his way.
Or someone else was in the picture all along and was starting to figure out that his “friend” was more than a friend.
Absolutely should have it it made her uncomfortable. But she didn’t. Did she? She chose to go with it. They both suck but she should’ve been upfront. What did she expect? Start a relationship with a lie and everything’s gonna be peachy? No. If this was a man denying sex because the woman wanted to take his virginity would the majority of this thread feel sorry for him? F no!
Seems like she is insecure about it herself and no matter what you say she doesn't believe you because she thinks differently about her body.
In the end you cant do much, because she needs to find a way to feel attractive and beautiful again
Anybody got a link to that reddit post from that lady that drew up an estimate for her husband to have his baby? If l remember it well, the numbers in there were quite a bit larger than the numbers in this topic.
that's sweet, but i really think he needs some friends that aren't just 'wife friends'. if he's into nerd shit, there are nerds floating about who are into the same shit
I mean it seems like it was best for the relationship to end? Just bc your loved one was really really sad doesn’t mean the relationship should have continued?
she did help me with emotional sustenance and now it's becoming both, but I cannot trust her, yet I am obsessing over the idea, this all new to me, and i've always been a rational guy and walked away from toxic situationships before. But thanks for the advice, didn't think of it this way
I feel for you but just remember that a lot of white people (Im guessing your bf is wonder bread white) aren’t built to deal with Latinos. Gotta remember that in the future. Also your brother is out of line not shaking his hand tho. You should deal with that more than what your parents were doing
Oh god. 🙁 I'm glad you went. I really do think it's best just to get things checked out in case. I'm from the UK though, so I don't need to consider cost when it comes to that but I understand it's not the same for everyone.
The sleeping through it or going back to sleep is definitely concerning as well. I wonder if she knocked you out? I assume they checked you for a concussion as well?
Hope they gave you same pain meds or something! Take it easy for a bit!
I was going to suggest that you ask her to come for lunch , but I guess your wife already covered that.
So you can still ask her for lunch and have her meet Marcy and the more that they meet the more your wife will see that there's nothing to worry about because she will get the vibe that you and Marcy have nothing to hide.
And if she still gets the vibe that you have something to hide then you will know this is a her problem , not you and Marcy problem.
Meaning that no matter how transparent you are with your interactions with Marcy , she's going to find a way to be upset about it.
So then at that point you have to decide if keeping the job and keeping Marcy is worth your marriage
Like we say in the Netherlands when something is gross; gadverdamme. That's him. Gadverdamme.
Like we say in the Netherlands when something is gross; gadverdamme. That's him. Gadverdamme.