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By definition it basically is one. Fetishes don’t have to be socially or morally acceptable to be a fetish.
Its time to look for inspiration on r/NuclearRevenge
For starters I would try to record your sister or your partents admiting the dog has been abused, take it to the vet too, and then go straight to the police and file charges for animal abuse.
I feel like you typed your own answer in the tldr… you know the truth OP. YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS.
It's scary as fuck and will feel wrong for a while, especially if you keep letting that narcissist gas light you repeatedly.
She will continue to do and say whatever she has to so that you come back. Then show her true colors again. Worst case scenario, she kills you or the kids. Best case scenario, you stay and defend yourself next time then end up in prison for domestic abuse. Your kids left to survive with her by themselves.
Leave that restraining order in place, shit file for protective orders for your kids too. Tell that woman to kick rocks and call the police EVERY SINGLE TIME she calls or texts you or amber of your family, shows up at your residence or place of work. Treat her like the dangerous person she is before it's too late.
So you're an alcoholic in denial. Got it.
You're self medicating with this. You need to do a program to leave alcohol.
Amen!
So stop focusing on “crying bad” and start focusing on “my girl came to me worried and emotionally ready to help me and I was embarrassed at myself crying in front of her so I made it about my image and pushed her attempt away!”