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Maybe find someone who isn't so broken and can reciprocate a healthy relationship.
You realize that she is not going to love you for what you are doing for her?
Women value intimacy and connection, and she will leave you in a heartbeat if she feels like she has found that in someone else.
Time to get real and move on!
Updateme!
trust i appreciate you a lot! i’m a very stubborn person and don’t like when ppl say stuff like that is all. i want advice not rlly a lecture yk what i mean
“Hey I know you want to stay celibate and I can support that and don't want you to change it. But I kinda caught a crush on you. Any chance we could see where this could go?”
Stay on your meds.
But, know this, it sounds like you're sexually incompatible with your bf. It's probably not going to last regardless. You're just different.
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I just don't understand… she has a low libido but masturbates daily? Doesn't that just say that she doesn't like the sexual interaction but still has a high libido?
He’s trying to push you to blame you for a breakup. If he does something that is unacceptable he can’t say “accept it or the breakup is on you” – which in essence is what he’s doing.
TLDR: it was a terrible relationship right from the beginning…so obviously we got married…
I get it. Ex hasn't just been victimized – she's also been liberated, set free to find new love. Reconnecting with an old flame is a common shortcut, and the needier the liberated person is, the more likely they are to look for shortcuts.
We have no idea whether this friendship is pure as driven snow, or if the Ex is exploiting kind-hearted Fiance for favors, or if the Ex is shortcutting, and has (or hopes to) become Fiance's First-In-Line. All we know is that First-In-Line is a romantic relationship that wants nurturing while First-In-Line waits it out, and for this reason, it makes sense to insist that nothing that an objective observer would consider Romantic or Nurturing is going to happen – neither by design, nor even by accident – under ANY deal you'll agree to, either with Fiance or with Ex.
I can't guess what terms would satisfy you. Perhaps just no face-to-face meetings? Maybe a full openness-and-transparency deal, in which no meetings or dialogs are private anymore?
Also, if Ex is shortcutting, then victimhood is plainly her lure for kind-hearted Fiance. So I'd insist on a ceiling, or a ban, or a time limit on gifts and favors, in cash or in kind. I'd insist that Ex must give up calling upon Fiance for rescues and favors, and Fiance must not oblige if she asks once, and cut her off if she asks twice. That's a classic Rescuer and Victim relationship, which has romantic possibilities written all over it, and everyone at the bargaining table knows it.