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Model from: za
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Birth Date: 1992-05-09
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Go look up the relationship between codependency (you) and narcissism (him). That will answer (1) why he thinks you’re an idiot when you’re clearly not, and (2) why you want to stay with someone who vacillates between treating you great and treating you like you’re an idiot. Get your answers, get into therapy, keep the cat, and tell him to scram.
These were also my thoughts. I'm not saying it's all on OP, because what her family did is definitely wrong, but the way she words things alludes to missing context. Other people have asked what the circumstances around the husband's decision to divorce were and she remained vague and never clarified.
I also can't see the kids loving their father so much and choosing him if he really was a selfish POS. But then again they are children who can be misled so who knows. Also it's not specified how long after the divorce the husband started dating again. Only that it was “soon” after. It's also not stated what things were like before the divorce. If the marriage was dead for years, would it really be shocking that he started dating again not long after?
Of course that's just speculation from my end. She also mentions having disabilities, though unspecified, it seems like they played a role in all of this. It's just hot to give concise advice without knowing the full context.
Another concept that would be difficult for Reddit to handle is that neither op OR the husband are bad people or in the wrong. Perhaps the husband had grown unhappy for reasons that OP couldn't help and decided to do what was best for him (I couldn't fault somebody for that), and OP unfortunately had to bear the consequences all the same. It's sad and tragic but that's life.
I don’t want to be controlling or overreact,
Are you serious? She had you fooled for “several months” whatever that is, you have every right to overreact and it’s not a control issue it’s a respect issue!
This relationship is super young and she is still humg up on her so it’s best to leave her to her ex. She won’t stop if you decide to “work this out”.