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What advice are you looking for in a sub dedicated to asking for advice on ones relationship?
How to not be a shit person? Don't date people who are in relationships and cheating on their partners
How to be a better person? Don't involve your child's life with a shitty person.
How to not be a fool? Realize that in all the time that the shitty cheating asshole you love told you, over and over again that he would leave his wife for you, he never once, left his wife for you.
How to get on with your life? Realize that you're not special. Your guy friend lied, disrespected, and betrayed the person, that he, more than likely, got up in front of his family, friends, and maybe even his entity in the sky (oy), and pledged to be faithful and spend the rest of their lives together. What a winner you've picked out! At any point along the way, you could have said no and put a stop to it. What does that say about your character? Do you think you're the only one that he's cheated with? You probably think very highly of yourself that given the chance, he'd leave her for you…and he hasn't. Lulz.
Your poor kiddo. Not only did you entangle them with a shit person, but you're a shit person for teaching them that it's okay to be this way and do such shitty things.
Here is what you can do urgently:
You tell the wife, and the parents of the 14 year old You leave that POS, since he lied and manipulated then called you ridiculous Have a backbone, you're old enough Go to the police, help that girl. Call CPS
“why do I need positive affirmation from strangers?' Because you want support that she isn't willing to provide. A relationship should never become walking on eggshells to keep each other happy. Both of you are going to become far more miserable if you're suppressing who you are to avoid conflict. You need to speak your mind, if it upsets her, it upsets her. You can offer her whatever support she needs, but you should always maintain your honesty.
If she gets upset with you for talking about your achievements, ask her what she wants from you that would make her more receptive towards being someone you can share good news with. You value her opinion and having to hide something you are proud of yourself for, isn't healthy for the relationship. You shouldn't have to hide who you are from the person you love.
Get a lawyer, better today than tomorrow…
You should leave that relationship. He’s threatening you and emotionally manipulating you. He’s not going to commit suicide. If you’re truly concerned, tell somebody close to him and still leave. He is not your responsibility.
If I wanted to change something about myself and my partner absolutely loved that specific part of me I’d want to know. Maybe watch Dirty Dancing with her and then look at some pictures of Jennifer Grey after her nose job – still pretty but just not as recognisable any more, to the point that it impacted her career. Tell her you’d support her either way, but that you LOVE her nose and would miss it.
It's not because of their choices. If you think it is ask your therapist for a blunt yes or no answer to that question.
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Ebb, your GF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your GF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
Ebb, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
But why can’t he change? Who would want to intentionally do this to their marriage? He had a pretty decent childhood and has a pretty good life. It just doesn’t make sense, I don’t get it. Is it because we aren’t right for each other? Will he be better for his next wife? I’ve heard the right woman will make a man change. So maybe I’m just not the right woman?? I don’t want this type of relationship and definitely won’t have kids until he changes.
The behaviour of your gf is far frome sane.
Even if you took A to St. Petersburg, what is her problem here. And even if you like xyz ethnicity when you dated A, what is the problem. Both things are a complete nonefactor in your relationship. Your girlfriend right now seems completly irrational.
If you want to solve this problem I would suggest sitting her down and ask her the following:
“Lets act like this points are valid (which I still think they are not): What would your suggested solution for these problems would be? I can not untravel russia and I can not undate A. So what should we do about it?”
She will most likely have no answer for this which potential break her stubborness. If she get more angry about you pushing back, she is in fact completely irrational.
The fact that your BF blindsided you with this is…not good. Break up with him and save yourself years of heartache.
Yea because a 19 year old would definitely hook up with 50 year olds just for the sake of it… Using military force at war is legal, try again
Sometimes I ask him.
Don't be so dramatic. Just understand she has a unique job that doesn't go well with boyfriends showing up.
Yeah. Most people immediately jump to the women being the problem
It’s baffling
When he walks away from you, he is clearly saying he no longer wants to be with you.
So accommodate him. Don't chase after him. Don't call after him.
Go home, or go somewhere else.
If he drove and you are relying on him for transportation, stop putting yourself in that situation. Both of you should drive.
This is very tiresome, childish behavior. He's already told you he will do it again.
What about him is so wonderful that you are putting up with his disrespect?
This is trash behavior by your boyfriend. My husband would love to try anal but I know I don’t like it from prior experience so he doesn’t ask. Because he respects my boundaries and he respects me. If your boyfriend can’t do the same, dump him. You should be with someone who respects you and your boundaries.
I have animals they wont help with that i cant leave them and he uses that aginst me and so much more it's not that simple
She wanted her ego stroked. She used you to get it.
Don't do it. You'll only end up hurting yourself. Find someone else to room with.
No. Neither myself or my husband care about this.
Kinda makes me worry that he thinks all men will rape women if given the chance. What’s he been doing in his free time?