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Divorce is a big deal. But there is life on the other side.If she's that unhappy, maybe you should concentrate on reassuring her that in this case, SHE'S the important one. Make sure she knows that whatever happens, you will be fine, il ut right now she needs to concentrate on what she needs from life. And and angry, toxic relationship, might not be giving her the best options.
I'm curious. Okay, your new GF expects your ex to take more responsibility about bills. But what about you taking more responsibility about kids? Will she accept them living with you both? Or she expects that they will never be there? What if your kids will ask for a room in father's house? What she will say if you will pay more child support than agreed in your divorce papers for some reason? What if your ex will decide to work more, to be more independent, or for any other reason will ask you to take care of kids for several months? Better address this before buying the house.
Don’t worry about making him see your side. Just make it very, very clear that you know that he RAPED you and you can’t be convinced otherwise. He absolutely, positively raped you.