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I’m not sure what advice you want, hun. Because there isn’t any expert advice that can tell you how to take someone who shows no sign of actually wanting a permanent future with you, and turn them into someone who does.
It’s not a question of whether he cares for you – he obviously does, and shows it in the ways you’ve mentioned. The question is, is that level of care enough? And the answer, clearly, is no. You want someone who says they love you. You want someone who wants to live together, around whom you can freely express emotions and discuss issues like an adult. And you don’t have that with him. It’s easy to say “Of course I love you what want a future with you!” whenever you threaten to walk away, but he never does anything to actually prove it.
I know you’re sick of hearing it, but your friends are right. It IS up to you, and you do need to either break up with him or accept that this is who he is, and how he treats you now is the best you’re gonna get from him. He’s not a great guy who’s too scared to commit – that’s not some kind of external obstacle that you can somehow talk him out of. This is who he is – avoidant, low commitment, unable to process emotions or face difficult conversations in a healthy way. If that’s enough for you, stay together. But if it’s not, don’t kid yourself that it’ll be different in future, because it just won’t.