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You are absolutely justified to ask for a real explanation. Hers makes no sense. Sorry man.
Props to MIL keep that grandma around. Good woman. I wish you luck in this difficult time.
This is an echo chamber of folks who are pushing you to file for divorce because your husband isn’t helping around the house. If you want to hire a cleaning service do that. But is him acting like this around the house enough to become a single mother?
He does absolutely nothing? If your car breaks down does he fix it? If there is a repair in the house do you repair that or does he? I am not quick to advice a woman to become a single mother.
Is your husband abusive? He is obviously neglectful and not doing things that you would like. Have you communicated these things to him? Have you asked him to clean up the house? Have you asked him to help you with the child? Have you told him that doing X Y Z would have been nice for your birthday.
My grandmother and grandfather was together until my grandfather died. My GF did virtually nothing around the house because he had a bunch of servants at his house doing that work. My Grandfather worked as a corporate executive at his time and worked a ton of hours. My grandmother hired all of the servants. He didn’t take part in any of the household activities at all. Not to say this is good but if you want to see changes Communicate it to him. There must be a reason you married this man.
My BMW had an issue with the engine last week and I didn’t get fed up with the car I took the car to the dealership and had it fixed. I didn’t leave it on the side of the road abandoned and bought a brand new car. Sometimes taking the lead and demanding a fix to problem is all you have.
I would stop putting up a fake smile around him and let him know that leaving the house a pigsty is unacceptable. With some men you need to actually tell them or they won’t change. Let him know explicitly in blunt language what you like and don’t like.
I would say emotional cheating. Are you leaving together?