I think you move on from here. I donāt think she is thinking of leaving. I think she has a conscience and sue felt horrible because she loves you. Itās called repentance. I, personally, suck at that, but itās a good thing to be repentant. Give her a hug and kiss and let her know (when itās true) that you love her and you are happy you are married and have a child.
I love independence. It's an amazing quality. I also like when a girl can comfortable rely on me for certain things. I like to think that there are certain things that I bring to the table that she didn't have all on her own to begin with and I like to be valued for those things.
When a girl is too independent in a bad way, it feels like I'm not even needed and that she doesn't appreciate the things I offer. She's got it all taken care of by herself so why am I even there? That's an unhealthy kind of independence that is really just an emotional block when it comes to getting closer.
As for being self-sustainable and a responsible adult, that's sexy as fuck. It can be seen as a disadvantage sometimes because guys like to hold a bit more power and just “feel like a man”, but I think you just haven't met the right person. There are a lot of people out there that aren't worth your time.
But if you feel like you need to make a change then show people a little of your vulnerable side and see how they respond when you trust them with that.
Heās been holding this in for so long, Iām just happy he finally was able to let it out. And he seems to really feel good about himself with the success heās been having at school the past week.
Iām sorry I asked personal QA about your life. I didnāt mean any ill intent, rather a genuine curiosity in your journey. I presumed you were open to sharing. Thatās on me.
Appreciate this, thanks. It feels tough to think about not having your family in your life any more, but my boyfriend is wonderful and doesn't deserve the kind of disrespect he's getting from them.
Thank u itās nice to hear that Iām not the only one. Like u said, the friendship between me and this guy was nice until he starts to get the same idea. I guess I should just accept that and keep him out of my life:)
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I had double jaw surgery and a chin reduction and my orthodontist said that my face was still swollen 2 years after my surgery! That was a very difficult surgery tho
As a woman, I do feel like thereās a big difference between ādid you like that?ā vs āwhat do you like?/how do you like it?ā If a partner is asking me if I liked something and I didnāt, Iām less likely to be honest with them. But if they ask me what I like, it keeps the conversation open and makes it less of a āyouāre doing it wrongā
On the flip side, if your gf canāt communicate with you what she likes specifically, itās certainly not fair for her to expect you to know or figure it out yourself
You think itās funny when you called us children? You need to stop man. You know why you two went to very hot beach because you two talked and worked it out beforehand. I mean are you forgetting that part where you spoke with your SO about it? If you two found a hobby to go very hot beach and liked it? Cool story man. Now focus on OPās feelings. Itās about him not you. Grow up.
When I'm mad at him I think about ending the relationship and that I can do better, then realize my life would suck without him and he is the best I have.
When you get that mad, stop arguing, ask for an hour to cool down, then go distract yourself. When the hours up, come back to discuss when youāre not feeling so very hot headed. Also therapist can help you with how to deal with conflict. So maybe discuss this with your therapist.
I was literally asking am I asking too much from him to expect him to stay the night if Iām clearly upset.
And my mom isnāt mentally disabled, physically sheās losing her independence. She has always been like this, only sheās gotten worse verbally bc physically sheās not able to hit.
She chooses to wait until my stepdad leaves the room to lash out and say this shit she really wants to say and completely switches up when he gets back. She doesnāt have dementiaā¦at least not at this moment
Your behavior and general attitude towards your partner needs major help.
It's absolutely devastating what happened…wish that on nobody. But you are still clinging to a past (activity) that is not coming back. And that is going to affect you and your kids forever if you can't get a handle on it.
sheās never once indicated an attraction for the type of g
You keep saying that 'that's not her thing' essentially, but you also didn't think cheating was her thing, so I wouldn't put anything past her right now. This very well could be some older married guy also having an affair. Just keep all of that in mind… you would be surprised at the number of people who cheat with someone who is 'not their type'. It's more common than not, that's how a lot of people get away with it.
Lots of people in difficult, competitive academic fields are on Adderall. And I don't mean people diagnosed with anything. But if he was doing that, he may have been partially treating himself.
The first time it happened, she swore it wont happen ever again, we had a huge fight, i almost broke up with her. But it happened again. I dont doubt her loyalty, but this shit makes me wonder alot
What you're asking is him to spend one hour and twenty minutes a day driving, it's not about money it's about convinience.
You refuse to take transit, refuse to walk, refuse to ride a bike, take a taxi then, if not don't go.
You're supposed to helping around the house anyways, most people can't afford maids so they have to do that anyways.
In life the only person you can successfully rely on is you.
Your original post was removed š
I think you move on from here. I donāt think she is thinking of leaving. I think she has a conscience and sue felt horrible because she loves you. Itās called repentance. I, personally, suck at that, but itās a good thing to be repentant. Give her a hug and kiss and let her know (when itās true) that you love her and you are happy you are married and have a child.
I love independence. It's an amazing quality. I also like when a girl can comfortable rely on me for certain things. I like to think that there are certain things that I bring to the table that she didn't have all on her own to begin with and I like to be valued for those things.
When a girl is too independent in a bad way, it feels like I'm not even needed and that she doesn't appreciate the things I offer. She's got it all taken care of by herself so why am I even there? That's an unhealthy kind of independence that is really just an emotional block when it comes to getting closer.
As for being self-sustainable and a responsible adult, that's sexy as fuck. It can be seen as a disadvantage sometimes because guys like to hold a bit more power and just “feel like a man”, but I think you just haven't met the right person. There are a lot of people out there that aren't worth your time.
But if you feel like you need to make a change then show people a little of your vulnerable side and see how they respond when you trust them with that.
First things first, get a paternity test asap, second unless she like so physically Ill from it tell her to get off her ass and work.
My little uncleās gf is pregnant at 16 and is still working at 8 months
I donāt think youāll be excommunicated. Just apologize and express the same feelings you expressed above and I think theyāll be understanding
Heās been holding this in for so long, Iām just happy he finally was able to let it out. And he seems to really feel good about himself with the success heās been having at school the past week.
Iām sorry I asked personal QA about your life. I didnāt mean any ill intent, rather a genuine curiosity in your journey. I presumed you were open to sharing. Thatās on me.
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Sublet
Appreciate this, thanks. It feels tough to think about not having your family in your life any more, but my boyfriend is wonderful and doesn't deserve the kind of disrespect he's getting from them.
Thank u itās nice to hear that Iām not the only one. Like u said, the friendship between me and this guy was nice until he starts to get the same idea. I guess I should just accept that and keep him out of my life:)
You got that backwards. You need go make him disappear. Who tf says that to their spouse? You deserve better than that.
She's 5″6 and about 150 lbs.
NOPE out of this post haste OP. Not just for your own good but for your life.
That's painful. Still, you, him and your kids are your primary family now.
Crazy shit went down actually lmao, thatās why. Real bad situation
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I had double jaw surgery and a chin reduction and my orthodontist said that my face was still swollen 2 years after my surgery! That was a very difficult surgery tho
As a woman, I do feel like thereās a big difference between ādid you like that?ā vs āwhat do you like?/how do you like it?ā If a partner is asking me if I liked something and I didnāt, Iām less likely to be honest with them. But if they ask me what I like, it keeps the conversation open and makes it less of a āyouāre doing it wrongā
On the flip side, if your gf canāt communicate with you what she likes specifically, itās certainly not fair for her to expect you to know or figure it out yourself
She looked it up twice. To me that shows thoughts of wanting to do something.
You think itās funny when you called us children? You need to stop man. You know why you two went to very hot beach because you two talked and worked it out beforehand. I mean are you forgetting that part where you spoke with your SO about it? If you two found a hobby to go very hot beach and liked it? Cool story man. Now focus on OPās feelings. Itās about him not you. Grow up.
When I'm mad at him I think about ending the relationship and that I can do better, then realize my life would suck without him and he is the best I have.
When you get that mad, stop arguing, ask for an hour to cool down, then go distract yourself. When the hours up, come back to discuss when youāre not feeling so very hot headed. Also therapist can help you with how to deal with conflict. So maybe discuss this with your therapist.
I can't see you guys living together and this working out if he's not comfortable with dog hair. Like…..your dogs shed. It's unavoidable.
Ideally this would have been something you brought up before moving in but at this rate, I can't imagine things going well.
I was literally asking am I asking too much from him to expect him to stay the night if Iām clearly upset.
And my mom isnāt mentally disabled, physically sheās losing her independence. She has always been like this, only sheās gotten worse verbally bc physically sheās not able to hit.
She chooses to wait until my stepdad leaves the room to lash out and say this shit she really wants to say and completely switches up when he gets back. She doesnāt have dementiaā¦at least not at this moment
Your current SO is 100% correct.
Your behavior and general attitude towards your partner needs major help.
It's absolutely devastating what happened…wish that on nobody. But you are still clinging to a past (activity) that is not coming back. And that is going to affect you and your kids forever if you can't get a handle on it.
My advice is that you should break up.
You have asked for a reasonable “Hey, I'm busy text.” He consistently forgets, and you don't like it.
He lashed put at you personally during an argument.
You feel a lack of compatibility, and that's enough.
sheās never once indicated an attraction for the type of g
You keep saying that 'that's not her thing' essentially, but you also didn't think cheating was her thing, so I wouldn't put anything past her right now. This very well could be some older married guy also having an affair. Just keep all of that in mind… you would be surprised at the number of people who cheat with someone who is 'not their type'. It's more common than not, that's how a lot of people get away with it.
Lots of people in difficult, competitive academic fields are on Adderall. And I don't mean people diagnosed with anything. But if he was doing that, he may have been partially treating himself.
The first time it happened, she swore it wont happen ever again, we had a huge fight, i almost broke up with her. But it happened again. I dont doubt her loyalty, but this shit makes me wonder alot