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This may be less about fear of change and more about fear of commitment. This may be as enmeshed as he sees this relationship getting.
I would say now you don't have to cheat on her with me because we all know what's happening. I agree with pointing her out though. I bet they'll either openly start a relationship once she files, try to deny it to the manager to keep from losing their jobs or the other woman will lose interest in him once she knows he's not with someone else. Some people are only interested when they know it's forbidden, when they're attached to someone else. Either way he's most definitely cheating and OP needs to file.
I met my partner, whom I've been with for almost 6 years now on Tinder at the age of 26 after isolating myself due to a bad situation.
It's not over for you. Don't give into the pressures of societal clock.
My suggestion is to turn your area milage to like 50 miles on your dating apps. I did this and found the love of my life, and he was like 40 miles away. Think outside your town or city. It was a struggle in the beginning because we lived an hour away from each other, but the drives were never cumbersome because it was exciting and new. We moved in with each other after a year.
Keep your head up. I've been in your shoes. You're still young.
First, all that matters is why you broke up. Regardless of the fact that she reached out doesn't change that if that's not addressed, it's not going to work.
Second and more importantly here, she literally told you that it's over. Cancel the meetup. Do exes want to meet up in person to make up or break up? There's no standard answer to that. What we know with certainty is that your ex was to meet up in person to confirm your breakup.