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I am so sorry OP. Take time to heal.
I meant stand your ground and teach him he has to take part in household duties
Like- teach him a lesson but don’t teach him HOW to clean, that’s just crazy. I agree with you an adult man can figure that shit out himself!
I taught my SO he needs to do half* is also what I meant, not physically teaching him how to clean.
Sorry, not clear.
So if two people match on tinder and meet for the first time, then they both should immediately be exclusive, just in case it turns into an exclusive relationship?
Tbh you should be a therapist or something. Idk if that’s your profession but you’d be good at it ?
All 3 of you need to go your separate ways, honestly.
idk but it’s not for you. Let him have his fun with other females and then he’ll discard them afterwards. Go and find someone more serious about a relationship
Wow that is horrible im really sorry that this happend to you and tbh? I don’t think that his relationship will last.
And you fear regretting losing all of that?
Throw the man. Keep the cats.
I mean, you caught him doing high drag so idk what there is to wonder about. He’s definitely into it. You don’t have to address it ever if he doesn’t want to talk about it but maybe now that his secret is out, his anti comments should settle down.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it’s admirable that you want to try and connect with them and perhaps show a side of their dad/husband that they may not have known. I would talk to his wife and let her know that you have some pictures and stories and are struggling with the loss as well. And that you would like to meet up with them and share some of what you have and maybe talk about his life before them. See if she is interested. Maybe you can help fill a small part of the void from the loss of their father by connecting during this time. Or perhaps there are some things you can help with while she grieves. Reach out.
Yeah she definitely should not mention another person at all and just focus on why she doesn’t feel like their relationship is working.
Tell her you feel hurt.
It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and are at a loss for what to do next. Right now, it may feel like giving up is the only option, but that is exactly what he wanted – for you to give up on yourself and your ability to move towards something better. I want to encourage you NOT to give in to these feelings of hopelessness and despair, because they don’t make anything easier or better! Instead, focus on taking small steps everyday that will help get you closer towards living a life that aligns with YOUR values. Reconnect with old friends if necessary; practice self-care; take some time off from dating if needed -all of these can help reboot your motivation while also allowing you some much needed space away from toxic relationships. From this space of confidence, clarity and strength then when the right person comes along they will stick around.
Does she work? or do you solely provide? because it just sounds like she want to/ already cheated and needs to make sure you're “okay with it” so she can get her cake and eat it too.
I smell a relationship that is burnt out.
Pets are not furniture. You're a package deal. Also you are 20, there is no rush in moving in with someone, especially someone who you are not compatible with and who thinks having you abandon your birds is no big deal.
it kind of is
There's nothing immature about saying “sex is just sex.” People have different opinions about what it means to them. For some sex is just a bodily need. For others a profound expression of mutual affection reserved only for someone you care deeply about. For most, I'd wager it's something in between. Maturity has nothing to do with what side you fall on.
I think she sees you as a weakling and is gauging your reactions. She clearly does Not respect you because you don’t respect yourself by putting up with her bs. She is trash and telling you as much.
His friends may know something about him that his family doesnt know, that is why he been trying so nude to hide you. How long is he going to do this?. Is the relationship going anywhere?
Dont like the comments you may get dont post on a public website asking for comments
It seems uncaring that you didn’t check with him, didn’t check both boxes (what if the other one was 3/4 eaten?), and then didn’t wait for him to eat. I think it’s only considerate to ask. I would apologize.
Do you ever do anything for yourself, on your own?
I absolutely adore sharing snacks with my bf. But sometimes I want to enjoy chocolate leisurely on my own.
I absolutely love watching movies with my boyfriend, but sometimes I want to be on my own and watch a genre he and I don't have in common.
It's the same with sex.
Sex, even if you are passive like receiving a blowjob, requires concious effort. How should I moan, am I clean enough, I hope I don't take too long/ cum too quick, etc. Plenty of thoughts that only occur when another person is involved.
Having a quick wank or Masturbation on the other hand is 100% about yourself. You don't have to worry about anything and can just release that stress. Sure, it lacks all the other elements like excitement, intimacy, love, romance, but it also misses all the components that require effort.
So yeah, sometimes we just want to do our own thing, even if something that's usually better is available.
Your partner is either very, very insecure, or they are knowingly or unknowingly using this as a manipulation tactic to avoid any form of conflict.
Either way, the problem isn't going to solve itself. Your partner needs to recognise that their behaviour is unhealthy and harmful, and then they need to commit to learning how to face uncomfortable situatoins and regular everyday challenges that exist in any relationship.
Thank you! It’s nude to even accept he’s a narcissist lol. I’ve been telling him that I need a break and we can see how we both feel since he was obviously unhappy and he just keeps going back and fourth between mad and sad and will cuddle me and i’m just like accepting it but not cuddling back. Partially I don’t want to deal with the repercussions of how he’ll act which isn’t a good reason but i’m just so exhausted telling him how i feel and he isn’t leaving. I just feel so stuck but i’m going to keep trying, thank you for the advice!
This is my personal opinion but me personally I would’ve broke up with him because I don’t play like that?
Dude, nobody gives a rat's ass about your bedroom performance. Least of all me.
“Oh look at me! I'm an older dude with a gorgeous, naive wife and look at how virile I am! My stamina is office legend!”
It's just sad and a bit gross. It's not 30 years ago, you're not impressing anybody.
idk what you mean by everything else, I'm a STEM student with no full time job and a huge loan. I'm actually interning to upskill. I'm short at 5'8″ but I'm lean coz I hit the gym
maybe the daughter doesn't want to on-line there with OP and her future lots of children and cheating ass dad, she wants to online there with her mom? did that occur to you at all?
What are the areas that require attention?
But tbh I don’t think I can ever stop her because I don’t want to.
Stop dating someone you are willing to practically assault because you 'don't wanna stop'.
Your girlfriend is suffering and struggling with her competing needs of parents, religion, culture, love, and whatever the fuck all else, and YOU ARE NOT HELPING. Respect her and back off, or don't and break up.
Start being a partner not a user. Your penis will recover, your relationship will not.
This question is project better ask on a place like r/nostupidquestions than here
He is showing no interest in building a life with you at all. If he was he would be actively trying to integrate you into his life and actively being trying to get more involved with yours.
She also hates his child.. and her child hates him! how did they get married in the first place?
The best way is the most direct way so just tell him.
Be prepared though for him to ask what else you have been lying about and for him to not believe you when you say “nothing”. That's not how this works.
Or not say anything at all and hope it never ever comes up.
I know which one I'd be inclined to go with (hint: being honest now).
See if the venue has any security. Tell them that it is a black tie event and if he arrives in costume, not to give him entrance. They could tell him that “part of their job is to ensure an enjoyable time for the wedding couple. Since the couple have requested a black tie event, you won't be admitted unless you change.”
I personally think it would be worth paying extra for that. His family will not be able to just let him in.
Also, people often have both wedding party members and other roles such as ushers in a wedding. Consider having some of your bigger friends act as ushers and give them the same directions.
The point is, you have politely expressed your very reasonable desires, it is your wedding, and it should not fall on you personally to be the bad guy. You should be busy celebrating and marrying. Professionals at the venue and your close friends should be tasked with handling this.
Here’s a great opportunity to practice recognizing and verbalizing your feelings!
Sometimes, the reason we don’t share how we’re feeling is because we don’t really know.
So take some time to think about your session and what you didn’t like. Was it a tone? The advice itself? What’s the feeling associated with the thing?
This is an awesome update, OP! You got this!!
I agree that A is a dick but saying that if someone tells people they want to end their life, it means they wont act is wrong. Sure he might not mean it but it's a cry for help regardless.
I fail to see the problem here. You've done everything you should and could do. Why you feel the need to feel so badly for someone who lies and manipulates you so openly is beyond me. I don't very often agree with things I see on this subreddit, but this is a comment thread that I hope you take to heart and carry with you going forward. You are 1000 percent better off without Your boyfriend, ex, whatever he is, as far away from you as possible.
You dodged a massive bullet. You have an opportunity to cease contact with this guy and better your life going forward. I'd caution you to take it.
That's what I ment I spelt it wrong. Sorry on phone
Yeah you're either lying about your age, or you're emotionally immature and selfish you can't comprehend the writing on the wall. The man hugged you because he cares for you and wants you to be your best in life. That doesn't mean it's enough to stay together. You need to be single. Focus on you. Go to therapy. Mature somewhat. Realize that any relationship – friendship, family, romantic – is going to require investment and prioritizing of time with that person or you will have this cycle repeat. Everybody is allowed to be selfish in life when they want to be. You just don't get to drag someone else along and expect them to be happy when ignored. You're incompatible. He's moving on. You should do so too.
And would he even have time to use it if he got the kids on the weekends?
You are disgusting.
No just me but even when I explained that, the police said it’s still my word against his on what belonged to who.
MS runs in my family. My badass aunt has had it for a decade. She could barely walk her dog. There is no way a grandmother with severe MS could be the main caretaker for a ten year old child. Multiple Sclerosis is a intensly painful life changing disease where the immune system is literally eating away at the nerve shields. It causes very serious brain damage and can causes the brain to not be able to talk to the body. It is a full time job and is recommended for MS patients to have a caretaker themselves.
Tell him to move now. You probably should dump his lazy ass too.
you didnt care then because you had just started dating and wasnt so attached. now youve been together 8 entire years, and youre emotionally very intertwined so it makes sense that only now it hurts. its called retroactive jealousy. your feelings make sense, and youre allowed to have those feelings, but its also good that you remember she didnt do anything wrong. both those things can be true at once – you dont have to invalidate one of them to validate the other. id just give it some time, work through those feelings with her, and make sure you reiterate to both her and you that you know she didnt do anything.
You don’t, you don’t address it.
Also, you can probably see your breasts (which I’m assuming you mean: outline of areola) through your tank tops too.