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Showing your true colours then OP. What have you taken away from the comments then? I suppose that having revealed your distorted morals you are ignoring the 88% of feedback which kinda shows what kind of person you truly are. Obviously, you are clinging on to the 12% of modern day feminists who automatically support the sisterhood.
Have you taken time to look at the statistics of your kind lately.
The relationship is between you and her not between her and your family. Support the woman you live! so long as she has done nothing wrong
First, don't panic. From a work standpoint, just go to work and act normally. If anyone comments on you being drunk, just brush it off unless it's your boss. There are sort of kisses, ranging from greeting pecks to passionate “knock your socks off” kisses. What are we talking about here?
My man… it's time to walk away. I know it's been 7 years but she's obviously feeling that 7 year itch and she's scratching it with someone else.
Have an IUD put in and do not take it out. Also find a man who is worth a damn. This one obviously isn’t.
Needed that thank u but the Weird and part is he claims to be a virgin
That's really great!
She doesn’t understand how hurtful that was? Would she be more accepting if you both did therapy? Therapy is great for everyone, so it would be a win win.
She’s interested in someone else. Sorry man.
How old is the kid? There must be pages more to this story
He probably hooked you in and realized that its too much work now to do that.
I'm not a teenager, we're both adults. I just have extreme insecurities and fear of the unknown when it comes to relationships.
Is your gf on disability? I notice you posted about her inability to contribute to expenses and also you mention being responsible for her “financial well being”. Shouldn't someone as disabled as you describe be on disability and therefore eligible for Medicaid? I'm just at a loss not understanding why these resources are not in place.
Is there a reason you want to meet up with him? This whole situation doesn't sound particularly enjoyable or healthy.
Take the test and let him feel stupid.
If you move in together, for the love of God, don't do joint finances.
Honestly, don't get in a rush to live! together if you currently aren't. If you do, she has her money, you have yours. You pay half of everything, she pays the other half. Beware of her “being a little short” this month. If you go joint or you pay the bills, you are in for a world of hurt.
I had this same exact scenario when I was 25 and my ex was 23. I got a new vehicle and place, she stayed with her Dad (he spoiled her). Because of the increase of money I needed to pay my bills, I wasn't able to constantly take trips and dine out to match her spending. We split a few months after that, her choice.
If you think she has absolutely no long term planning and it will cause issues down the road, you might consider an exit plan.
Your husband has to be insistent and if the won't leave willingly he needs to say “mother, I love you. Don't make me call the cops because at this point you're trespassing. I told you no. If you don't leave then I'll have to get the law involved. I don't want to have to do that, but I will. I'm not a child and this is my home. You cannot stay here without permission.”
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Presenting the sandwich while topless, that’s something extra.
I’ve been with women like this. They ask a question. I respond. Then they overthink the room, and I get something totally different.
You did the right thing last time.
You set a boundary. She did not respect it. You walk away. Even though you are back togheter she still does not respect it. She still lies to you, saying he was blocked and that she did not see him request.
So now you do the right thing that you did before. You walk away.
Also if you can't trust her (and apparently this is with good reason) you should walk away since this makes no sense if there is no trust. I totally get that you believed her she blocked him and you randomly saw a message from him, which showed that she probably did really not block him.
How was I supposed to draw boundaries? Was I supposed to tell my girlfriend something like “hey, I know your sister lives in another country and you don't see her often, but please stop inviting her to stay at our house when she visits because we have had sexual tension since before you and I started dating. Thank.” That's ridiculous
I'm sorry you're going through this, I was also cheated on recently. Here are some things I found live! + my social circle said to me that helped me move on.
You did not lose a good woman, you lost a terrible woman. You dodged a bullet, imagine marrying her and losing half your shit in a divorce. Cheaters will always be cheaters. The biggest indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. When someone cheats on you, they've betrayed your trust. You did not put your faith in them for you to be repayed by disloyalty. You did not love them with all your heart for them to stab all over it. Being cheated on hurts, and nobody with a pure heart and clean intentions deserves it. Nobody deserves to know that some moron chose a third person over them just for a little while of physical intimacy. Cheating is bad and should be discouraged in all forms, even if it was just a salacious text.
When someone shows you how low a person they are by such shameful acts, you discard them. And you discard them for all eternity because they don't deserve to be with you, your time or your efforts. 3. I assure you what she did to you is gonna happen to her. karma is a real bitch. What's coming to her will be something unimaginable. She's not Paris Hilton and when she does get cheated on she got what's coming to her. 4. I will be extremely disappointed in you for even thinking for a millisecond of getting back together with her or mending what relationship is left. She's fucking awful, her actions spoke louder than words. She has no respect for you. She doesn't even deserve any of your time or attention. Do not allow this bitch to walk on you like a doormat 'cause you ain't one. Do not even give her an opportunity to think there's hope because she will only further use and abuse you 5. Do not blame yourself for what happen, cheating stems from issues from the cheater and has nothing to do with you
Best of luck
There is a choice. She can run away to be with you. Happens all the time.
Oh so he only opened it up on his side? So only he is allowed to date others?
Throw this whole man away. He's gross. The fact that he feels entitled to a certain type of body. And puts yours down is so disgusting.
He doesn't deserve you.
Because you sound like a selfish woman and just baiting people to scorn you.
Well she is being stupid. She needs to so she can relax
Financially speaking, this is free land. Five acres. That's nothing to sneeze at. Maybe compromise? He's spent years living in your hometown. You can compromise by living there and visiting your hometown occasionally. Then revisit making it a second home and possibly renting it then living somewhere else. You have your lives ahead of you. Good luck!
it isn’t anywhere near as bad as lying to your partner
The irony is people who lied will justify their behaviour: “I lied because I knew you’d get upset”
I think I speak for all of us lesbos when I say that we would totally fake being in a relationship with a straight friend to get her out of a situation like this.
“Why, no, I don't have a husband. But my lesbian lover Marjory isn't too fond of men around the house, so it's probably for the best.”
Idk why but this whole thing is funny…not him being upset but all of your reasons to end things. You just wanted attention because like you said it had been a while ??damn
“so odd, he still seems to be so bitter”.
That literally came from you. Lmfao
She’s wild.
Why forcing someone into parenthood? She can have the abortion and have an other baby with someone willing to be a father.
Likely wanted you to keep your job so you didn't fuck him in the possible divorce. You do realize while you were the one that fucked around he is the one that's gonna get fucked in court. You don't have a job and you are a SAHM which means he is getting screwed in the divorce court and custody court. He calculated it's cheaper and smarter to keep you around if he wants a good life for his daughter
What was your husband's response to the pregnancy when you told him before? Did you always plan to have children? Getting pregnant at 32 is not really that early – another couple of years and you would be considered a geriatic pregnancy (ie, your husband's age). So, if you were planning on having children at all, trying at this time was kind of a “now or never” scenario.
However, your husband's response seems pretty extreme. Was there a possibility that he was already looking for a way out and your relationship had run its course, and now he feels like he is being forced to stay? I assume that the scenario is not the same as the other couple and that divorce is an option.
Honestly, since his response is so extreme, I would take him seriously at his word to start and ask him if he wants out of the relationship and get a divorce before the baby comes. If that is what he wants, then you know you have to start making a whole set of plans for having his baby on your own.
Question: you say the baby was planned, but when your husband asked you if you babytrapped him, all you say as a justification is “we’ve been married 7 years” and not “dude we agreed to try for a baby”
Sounds like you babytrapped him.
That's what makes this so complicated. I am absolutely a concerned parent, but not at all controlling or overprotective. I have a great relationship with her, and she confides in me. I think freedom and trust is very important to maintain a healthy relationship. I appreciate your advice very much.
Mental health issues are not an excuse to be a douche bag. Since he refused help, please cut out, rip off bandage style, before it all starts becoming a tangled mess.
Congrats on the new job and best wishes.
It’s out there. Now talk to her about it. People often look at images of other people to help get turned on. It is t abnormal and you should many feel embarrassed.
As to your phone, I’ve been married for years. We both use one another’s phones. Secrets rarely improve a relationship. But if you feel different you have to set and respect those boundaries.
I had the first three of my four kids in under four years.
I know deep down in my heart that I took some years off the end of my life because of that. No joke. There were some great times, but really not enough to justify doing that again. I missed so much with each of them because I had them all at the same time. Having my fourth with such a large gap, with the older three so much bigger, has been amazing. It makes me sad, though, seeing all the wonderful things missed out on, couldn’t do, etc, because I had three babies at once.
The person who 'never existed' formed very deep personal connections with people, it is also their job to manage those connections when they're now themselves.
It sounds like your partner has deeper issues and the smaller things just bring them to light.
It sounds like your partner is overly reliant on you and when you arent there, they dont know how to manage their emotions. Even if it isnt intentional, it's a toxic relationship that actively harms both of you. The more they lean on you, the more emotionally drained you get and then your partner also gets even more dependant on you. Unless it changes, it will probably end up with your partner dragging you down and when you are unable to support them, they will completely crash out.
All we can really suggest is your partner gets therapy.
Well this relationship sounds like a toxic shit show.
My advice: individual therapy so you can learn what a healthy relationship should look like.
This ain’t it.
I don’t know how long you’ve been together, but it doesn’t seem right at the relationship has been so difficult from the beginning. The beginning should be easy & comfortable, otherwise why continue? Sure, no relationship is perfect and they all take work, but do you want to keep working this nude?
This is more common than you’d think sadly
I used to love understanding people like you.
Made most of my 20s more exciting due to women wanting to find themselves or separated from their husbands. The joke is, they never tell me this until after a few dates. Dumped one extremely cruelly because I found out her husband funded her entire life.
Now I'm in a relationship and start to realize women putting a break on relationship and wanting “space” is code for they're possibly wanting something else.
The vast majority of the time, this is an expression of discontent with the relationship and a precursor to divorce. And don't be saying to yourself, “What have I done wrong?”. This sort of existential discontent can happen even in seemingly stable relationships.
If you have mutually shared assets like bank accounts, etc., you need to secure them as they are likely to be drained when she decides to make her final move. You might also want to check for cash withdrawals that have been made from your account as people in the situations often start gathering cash for a divorce war chest.
You can hope for the best, but it would be prudent to strap in. One spouse going off by themselves on “find themselves” vacations or trips is generally the beginning of the end, and there is no going back.
It for sure feels like she has a very complicated relationship with her ex that is like partnership-lite – a friendship that is incredibly complex and deep and pretty much just a step out from being partners.
While I agree that as adults you guys are capable of being friends with ex's, there are boundaries that have to be set and…clearly you are getting some vibes there that it's deeper than just friends.
I would personally walk away. You've voiced your concerns, she's shown that she isn't going to change anything to address them.
If you are looking for a long term, traditional partnership, it's time to walk.
Next time she threatens self harm, you have to call 999 and ask for a welfare check on her, police or ambulance will knock on her door, it will be documented, especially that she has a child with her. Would be good evidence for custody and she will learn that you won't be manipulated. Wish you the best
You should move on. You clearly did not want that advice, but it's not uncommon for partners in their teens to grow in different directions as they get a little older. Settling into a marriage-like relationship too young limits both parties' options.
Shouting? like “HEY I LIKE YOU”? thanks for reading and replying too by the way
This kind of cheating will destroy you. Because you’re going in almost belly up. Vulnerable with no protection so I would tell you not to do it. Nobody is worthless and I agree with you. I don’t think she’s capable of staying faithful.
He might be going through a midlife crisis. It's not on you. It is all him. Some guys think that screw around without consequences. Let him go from hookup to hookup, having meaningless sex and a bad case of either gonorrhea or herpes. At 40, that is pretty dismal. The good thing for you is that you dodged that bullet. And he is sattled with that unhinged walking sex toy.
You came out better with a lesson learned. Figure out what you want and go after it.
Best of luck!
I have ADHD and time management is stressful for me too. That's part of the reason I'm so angry because it takes a lot for me to be ready and available for him when we hang out. I'm making an effort not to inconvenience anyone with my poor time management by setting clocks forward and setting alarms and breaking tasks down so that I'll be ready to leave or go on time so why can't he?
Setbacks on my end, he’s just being supportive. Medical, financial, currently catching up
Yes you are being controlling.
People are going to look at her butt in a one piece as well. As well as regular clothing.
You should probably work on your insecurities and whatever other issues regarding woman that you seem to have.
it just doesn't feel right
The moment one person in a relationship believes the relationship is over, it is over. It isn't a negotiation. Don't start out your life with backward thinking.
nope – where is your girlfriend going for vacation and why aren't you invited?
You can't put the piece together? You former Best Friend is in love with you and somehow that came to light and your Fiancee got into a fight with him once your Fiancee found out. That is why your Best Friend told you he has to move on. Nothing else makes sense but if my GF's Best Friend decided to tell me that they are in love with my fiancee I would not be happy about it at all. You don't feel this way for him but obviously it was going to be a problem.
So did you chose to ignore my edit where I clarified I don’t agree with the fiancés actions orrrrr?