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⚠️⚠️⚠️GET OUT OF THERE AND BLOCK HIM EVERYWHERE. Otherwise he'll hoover, beg you back and promise to change. HE WONT EVER CHANGE, TRUST ME. ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Go see a counselor to make sense of the trauma you experienced with him. You will discuss any trauma you experienced as a kid and that does affect in picking your partners as an adult.
Discuss what boundaries you had, if any. If there was no boundaries, START IMPLEMENTING BOUNDARIES EFFECTIVELY.
If you have co-dependent issues that made you not pay attention to the red flags in the beginning of the relationship, this will be discussed.
Did you fall for the lovebombing in the beginning of the relationship??? Quite possibly you did and this in itself should have been a RED FLAG ????
I remember seeing in the news a few years back a story about some woman who had been convicted of killing her identical twin sister. I always wondered about the backstory of how things got to that point.
The problem is not yours it’s your husbands.
He should not be putting you and him in that position and he should not be doing “that thing” with his hand.
He should be backing away from these meet ups at a fast rate of speed.
Keep your guard up and if I’m honest I would be looking heavily at your relationship with your husband to make sure you are protected. As you say you’ve had your ups and downs.
Ups are fine, downs … mmm. I’ve never done this kind of stuff at all, let alone around my wife.
Btw not all men do that “thing”. I’d be mortified if somebody thought I’d do that, so it’s not all men. And your husband is married to you and you are not in an open relationship, so he’s in the wrong.
Stay strong sister