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My advice to you is to punch him in the mouth and then ask the doctor for the “wife stich”, where he stitches up his mouth a bit ” for good measure” ,so it easier for him to shut to fuck up.
I wouldn’t marry someone who constantly puts his brother’s hypochondriac tendencies first. Nothing about this is healthy and the list of incidents shows you will never be a priority to this man. That’s not a good foundation to start a marriage.
I feel like I was shot down before I could even communicate that, that’s what concerns me more. he acts like I’m being obnoxiously jealous, but I mean, this would be weird in most monogamous relationships soo
Do you think he is using money as an excuse to control you? If you keep your money separate, why does he care what you spend your money on? I know women who spend well over a hundred dollars getting their hair done or buying makeup. Hell, even shoes and purses are well over that amount. Does he complain about that?
I suggest you tell him that the trip will cost you nothing and see what his response is. You have a right as an adult to decide how to spend the money you earn. Marriage is not a dictatorship; it is supposed to be a partnership and there seems to be a power imbalance going on. Your needs and wants should not be met only when he deems it worthwhile. Do not let yourself become someone who needs permission to spend the money you earn. He is not your dad. Partners are equal. One does not have power over the other.
Learn to say no.