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Model from: ca
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1999-11-05
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Subculture: subcultureGamers
It was specifically for love, sex & marriage
No, it’s still not fair and it never will be unless you split everything down the middle including chores.
Make him a PARTNER not just a PROVIDER, or you’ll also end up playing mommy to him forever.
You’re both working- it doesn’t matter how much either of you make you should have the equal financial responsibilities and equal responsibilities at home.
You shouldn’t be living above your means just because he makes more.
If your mortgage is 1200, bills are 600, groceries are 600, then each of you pays in 1200.
Whatever is left over after is up to each of you to decide what to do with.
Disagree. OP stated that the terms of their open marriage was open honesty about all external relationships. In this case, he’s not doing that, which is why it counts as cheating.
If you have to hide your actions from your partner, it’s probably cheating.
She confessed, she is communicating, I hope you two make it.
Yes that was quite foolish of me, but in my defense, he seemed quite chill and didn't do anything that would make me uncomfortable. Thanks anyway
I have a couple of friends who met their husbands on dating sites/apps a few years ago and these guys were very upfront that they are looking for something serious in the near future. Now when I talk to guys about when they are looking for I hear “let’s just see what happens”. Obviously you shouldn’t rush into anything but we all know that this line is just to buy time and mess around mostly
Her boyfriend didn't know the boss's birthdate or year. She said he and the boss went to the bank together, because there was an issue with the bank card. The whole thing sounds illegal to me. If the boss is an American doing business in Mexico, but doesn't have the proper paperwork, it sounds like the boyfriend is unknowing being victimized and set up as a scapegoat for money laundering, tax evasion or something.or The whole life insurance thing is very concerning. He needs to go to the bank and cancel immediately and not tell the boss until after it is done. There is absolutely no reason for him to help the boss access her own money earned in Mexico and even less of a reason for her to be named on his life insurance policy.
He made it clear that he wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Hence why I met his parents and he's introduced me to all the other important people in his life. We wouldn't be dating if we weren't serious. We both want marriage.
I see, I'm kinda the same. I'm a second chance person.. But after that… I'm done with it. Since it'll just be a waste of time knowing they'll just keep repeating the same result.
I think you need to see a licenced professional.
And I'm not sure a relationship would be healthy for you at this time.
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Nope! I’d break up…. If someone cheated on me, I wouldn’t be able to work it out because you never know if he would do it again so you’re constantly worrying and you’ll never be able to trust them.
So stay friends with her, but end the romantic relationship and find someone who wants to be with you.
Both of you will be happier having sex with someone that wants to have sex with their partner. Sex in a marriage shouldn't be some special reward for you- that's just sexual blackmail.
My God, you love to put all the blame on your wife and see yourself as a responsible dog owner or whatever, but you have put absolutely NO THOUGHT into this. A petstore?! Golden doodle?!! What the fuck is wrong with you. You are every bit as much responsible for this.
I don’t understand how I’m misogynistic by not wanting my girlfriend to pay for me.
Stop trying to justify what she has done. Think about what a relationship is.
Consider this. If my sister told me I was a waste of space on earth and then got in an accident. I'd still do anything in my power to help her without any expectations of an apology.
Do you really want to spend your life with someone that doesn't care about you if you make a mistake?
I don't get why this is concerning….you have practically had a functional relationship with this man for 6 years….what changes if you put a label on it?
From the sounds of it you are already monogamous with this man. He supports you and your family. You trust him. All elements of a good relationship.
Ask yourself if you could handle reverting to strict FWB where he has sex with you and is not involved in your life anymore.
Or he freely pursues other women.
I asked for her to also sleep with women or I’d want to close the marriage again she rolled her eyes and said no
Why does it matter if she is sleeping with men and women? She's still sleeping with other people. Either close it up or accept the fact that you can't dictate who she sees.
As for the potential serious suitor, it sounded like you needed to establish boundaries before opening things up. You needed to specify it was only sex and nothing else. Now that this guy is starting to court her, you are finally seeing what you could be losing.
You need to act fast if you want to change things. Sounds like wifey is liking this new lifestyle; and not for nothing, doesn't sound like her sex drive is that low now that other men are in the mix.
Do not move to be with a man who cheats on you. Full stop.
Some people just enjoy the attention and the chase. She might like that you keep trying and texting her.
?
I’m not really sure what you’re asking for? Your options are. – travel abroad + be single
stay with her + don’t go to that med school
You already made a decision all by yourself. That shows us that you weren’t as committed to her as you thought you were. You were probably only with her for stability and comfort.
Theres no advice any of us could give that would make her be okay with your decision.
I agree with you. OP showed that in his eyes cheating is totally OK……i guess he realy is father's son.
So you think it’s silly for your partner to have an issue with a part of his body just because you can see it everyday? I’m the same age as you and even I know not to make fun of something my husband is sensitive about just like he won’t make fun of my insecurities. You don’t respect your partner. Doesn’t matter what you think.
Your partner is making a very reasonable request given the circumstances. Don’t talk to the guy. Make excuses not to talk to him. Whatever you have to do.
Exactly. And he's calling this 18 year old his “best friend” after a few months of living there so likely 3 months of knowing her?? He's allegedly developed that much of a connection with a teenage girl in a few months… Gross.
Priority 1 is share this with your fiance. It will help them understand that it's not about the polyamory. Your first post stank of something else being the issue, this one makes it obvious. Its not the poly relationship, it's the abandonment. Maybe share these feelings with your parents as well when you give them an invite or an anti invite. These seem well thought out and considered and coherent.
I think maybe you and your wife need another round of therapy together, and possibly apart as well.
You don’t think about cheating on your wife, so you, uhhh… don’t think about cheating on your wife.
Your wife has cheated on you. At least that one time, and possibly more recently if you believe the theories of projection hold merit. So, she looks at the world through the eyes of a cheater, to whom every interaction is suspicious.
She’s going to need to let go of that if you’re going to have a healthy marriage. And you need to find out why it’s coming back up now. Is it just the new younger neighbor? Or is there more stuff going on for her?
Not to mention it sounds like they raised him to believe in very negative, traditional views around sex and marriage. I can't imagine already feeling neglected and repressed only to find out that literally everything your parents taught you was completely discordant with how they lived their lives. I can imagine OP on a deep level probably feels like if they had a normal monogamous marriage that he wouldn't have been neglected, when I think the two things are probably unrelated. I think OP just has shitty parents and a shitty childhood because of that, but has pinned it all on their open marriage because it's such a big source of trauma.
lol this is a good one
I might be a bit controversial here but: his relationship is not your problem.
You didn't coerce him, take advantage, or start anything. Maybe in a perfect world you wouldn't have reciprocated, but it is on him to act in accordance with the rules of the relationship he is in (be it monogamous, open with boundaries, or anything else).
If he knew he was in a relationship, he's still made an informed choice to be an accessory to cheating. I wouldn't recommend hand-waving that away with an “oh well, I'm not the one who cheated, and I didn't force him, so it's not my fault and not my problem”.
Him not being the instigator or the one who cheated doesn't mean he's off the hook for having knowingly done something he knew would lead to heartache just because he wanted to get off. That's a very selfish choice to make, and it's right to feel guilty about having made it.
That said, it doesn't make him a terrible person. He recognizes it as a mistake, and that's great. Now work through the guilt, learn to forgive yourself, and move on. Use this as a lesson to improve as a person.
If I met my dream girl but she was fat then well, let's just say she wouldn't be my dream girl.
Can you really see yourself having sex with your eyes closed and being fine with it if you enter a committed relationship with this man?
Bro please sell now, give your parents the money before it is too late
Don't be like that, my ex doesn't deserve me and I deserve a good girl.
The thought of losing him was too much for me , I’m not an abuser, he’s my everything
This has been very insightful thank you all for the help I think I’ll call someone and hope I’ll update if something happens
Oh sorry I thought in OPs original post he mentioned that the kid normal has weekends at the father's until recently.
Lmao damn way to read into it, nobody said anything ab being controlling a mf just get anxiety
Your (ex)bf is trash, your friend is trash and you seem to always let things “slide”. Find a job, online by yourself for a while(easier said than done, I know) and try and set boundaries on what you can accept and what you can't. Cut off all the trash in your life
Maybe off topic but it's worrying that you know he's prone to being argumentative after only dating for 2 months. Y'all should still be in your honeymoon phase
??
What I mean is that near the end of your post, you trotted out a list of your own past traumas, as if your harder life means she should not be sensitive to these things. But your past has no bearing on her own reactions, the two are unrelated. It isn't the trauma Olympics.
This is really helpful… thank you
She cheated
Good point. She seems to be a shy person. However, I feel she doesn’t trust me? Or not comfortable with me then? I would send ugly, nice, handsome selfies or anything she asked for. She rarely ask for it anyways. It’s usually me doing the heavy lifting. I feel like one sided love.
Give yourself permission to leave. Permission to start fresh without having to worry about what your husband is doing while he is at work. Permission to never feel lonely while you are with him again. It is exhausting living with someone you can’t twist. It’s ok to no longer be available for this kind of mental mindfuck. Move on.
This idea of forcing yourself to endure abuse “for the kids” needs to stop. Ask any child who one or more parent cheated or made the other parent miserable and they'll all agree “YES GET A FRICKING DIVORCE IT RUINED MY CHILDHOOD”.
Why be with him? He sounds like an absolute loser and someone you don't want in your life
…that’s the whole point of OP going away though. You really assume OP hasn’t given those accurate reasons for her alone time yet?
Why are you afraid of losing a friendship based on blaming you for something that isn't at all your fault?
Well then, it looks to me like you have your answer.