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Birth Date: 1993-11-09
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Hahahaha let him go sis this guy’s straight up TRASH!!! Hahahaha
(Honestly, think about it. If this was you sister, or your best friend coming to you with this advice what would you tell HER????) move on, this guy is NOT the one.
Cheating or other poor behavior is rarely a reflection on the recipient. It's almost always because of an issue the enactor has.
In this case, for whatever reason she is just not ready for a full committed relationship. It's not your fault, her choice of affair partner has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her desire to escape, self sabotage, or whatever other trauma she's not handling.
Stop rewarding any attention seeking behavior. This means all communication is text or email, no face to face or phone calls. If she wants to see the kids, work with a registered supervised visitation center you both split the cost for. Set boundaries and when she violates them put her in time out. For example if a text turns into a whine about taking her back, tell her you're muting her for the next 24 hours, and do it.
If you can't afford an attorney consider asking family for help, also check with your employer, many have an employee assistance program that includes time with an attorney.
Logistics aside, you did your best. Learn from the relationship and get the best closure you can.