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It is super sad to realise afterwards. It took me a fair amount of time to figure out that the equal relationship that I wanted, was just never on the cards. Honestly, him breaking up with me was actually a really good thing. It was painful (and expensive) as hell, but it was just not healthy and likely never would have been.
No idea what happened with him and the girl. I blocked them both including all family members on everything and moved on with my life.
Hes cheating or setting himself up to be.
Keep it to yourself. Ask about HER day & feelings. When it gets boring (30 sec.) just nod and agree, making serious faces or guttural sounds, occasionally and appropriately. Rinse & repeat!
I second putting your account on private ASAP.
AKA her lap ??♂️
Why would you tell your current bf that… that was very weird on your part… you can’t tell a man everything
We will try to until the MIL leaves. I worry he could come after us for taking our child
You’re feelings are valid.
I would ask if she had a past with this new person and if she did then ask her why she keeps throwing these people in your path if she knows how you feel about it. Her answer might tell you a lot about how much she considers your feelings.
U sound like a buzz kill, relax
Take temporary satisfaction in knowing your cousins are sex workers, ( though sex workers are people too, but thats a different topic) and when you get back to school go see a therapist.
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Just becauze something is his type doesn't mean it's all he's attracted too.
I mean yes there are people out there who will sleep with anyone who'll give it to them.
If (hopefully “when,” honestly) you break up with him you can tell him “guess u can include me in the past too, bye fucker”
You need professional help and probably constant monitoring.
This reminds me of a situation with an ex. We ended up breaking it off because he needed to do a lot of work on himself before he could be with someone else in a healthy way (e.g. issues with insecurity, bottling things up, holding grudges, etc.). He swore he would get therapy.
A year later, I happened to see him and we had a catch-up. He has since gotten no therapy and I would say the gap between us had widened significantly; he said things to me I never thought he would have been capable of saying.
All this to say, I am so, so glad I didn't stick around on a hope or a wish that he would want to change himself for the better. Distance and time bring perspective, but as you typically can't have those things while you're in the middle of the situation, I suggest you try to think rationally or objectively about the life you want to on-line and if this person contributes towards that vision or not.
This is insane. This level of self-esteem and trust issues is not your problem to solve. A professional needs to work with her. I have no idea why you would have married this woman in the first place given how she treated you beforehand.
Having arguments like this is not normal nor healthy
Sorry OP, I have to agree with your roommates on this one. I get it seems like double standards but they are looking out for you and themselves. Give it time, maybe they will change their mind…
It doesn’t matter that the reason he is behaving this way is because he’s insecure. The manifestation of his insecurities are making you miserable. No one deserves to be miserable. And there are people out there who won’t make you miserable. You’re not obligated to stay with him just because he has psychological issues.
Yeah ik but I still on-line under their roof and I still want to keep my relationships with my parents
You know it wasn’t a joke, or else it wouldn’t have set off those alarm bells in your head. Ask yourself why, when he saw you temporarily weak, that his first thought was of how he could overpower you. He was bold enough to even say it out loud. gRape isn’t about sex it’s about power and control. He didn’t care that it made you uncomfortable either. Girl, move out and get away from him.
Didn’t take that long in my experience. Ex bf went from punching his car to pushing me all the way up to holding me up against a wall by my throat but also including dragging me by my hair in front of the apartments we lived in. Thankfully we never married and didn’t have children.
When OP mentioned he punched his car after their argument I may have been superimposing my experience onto hers, but I immediately got all of the red flags.
I'm so sorry. He will physically hurt you.
He is already psychologically hurting you.
This is not normal human behavior, and is absolutely not normal relationship behavior. It's been 8 years so you think it's normal. My husband and I have been together 11 years and we've never so much as raised or voices at each other. If he punched a wall, I'd get him checked out for a brain tumor.
It’s better being single than with a guy like this. SO SO much better.
It sounds like he was being performative. I would expect my partner to take charge, sit everyone down and tell them there would be no rehearsal dinner until the dress was located. I'm sure it would have magically shown up if the entire family was pressured to find it.
You have been through a highly traumatic event and you're going to be emotional. That's expected.
Alcohol is a hard drug.