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Perhaps… you’re the side piece…
But seriously, this would break my trust. She’s basically trickle truthing you
GTFO while you still can.
There is in ideal 2 types of cheating to me Physical and mental. The first being pretty typically obvious. The later is grey and can be spectrumed from looking at and text other girls to visting dating and adult sites. Of course it will probably be really naked to convince them that as it did for me to be conviced, there is sometimes a motive behind it boredom, sexually frustration or dischargem or non monogamous incentives. Regardless if you are not comfortable with it. You should contine to voice your option or as other users mentioned give an ultimatum
Stop molding and changing yourself. Do not do that to please him or make him happy. If you can't find something compatible to share time with that you BOTH enjoy doing, maybe something new entirely then it's okay to say “we can't find common ground and maybe aren't compatible”
You were already falling apart before the last straw. Are you sure Peyton/Amy came after the divorce?
He said he the guys she dated recently were a turn off. That’s fair.
Was going to say this too. He sounds like he’s cheating or going to.
toxic? what toxic? have some self-respect, pride and grow a spine. your feeling matter-don't ever forget that. dump her ass and move on with someone that will truly respect you
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It's really caught on though, at least in the reddit world. A preference has become a need others must meet
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I’m speechless…OP, your guy has massive issues and sounds like his little ego just got a massive kick in the groin. ? all around waving
Op your a piece of shit. Confess to your girlfriend your a cheating sack of shit then do her a favor and leave
AND LEAVE THE SISTER TOO mister “isn't it obvious I wanted her”
If she wasn't her sister id say you deserved her because she's also a sack of shit. But you getting with her will only hurt your cough “GIRLFRIEND” (that you cheated on)
You don't want to up an leave because “wouldn't that hurt her more” so tell her “hey babe, just so you know I'm a lieing sack of human shit who doesn't deserve your love. I kissed your sister and have wanted her instead of you this whole time, but because I have ANY SENSE OF MORALS I'm going to leave both of your lives entirely”
I hope she dumbs ur shit on the streets during a rainstorm
It does sound like an addiction, more to sex than porn tbh as I can see you have stated you don’t necessarily need the porn to reach completion.
You have to accept that before it can change.
As someone suggested- is your wife having her needs met when you have sex? Truly, not just your perception. Lots of women fake it or just don’t come at all. Is she satisfied?
Are you speaking her love language(s) outside of sex? Does she feel valued? Does she feel like a partner to you? Are things good in your marriage? These are topics you don’t need therapy to discuss but that DO need to be discussed. Be open, honest and receptive to these conversations and initiate them to see where your relationship overall could improve. Lots of things can effect sex drive, especially for women.
Are there things going on in her life that exhaust her? Maybe you could take something off of her plate to help redirect that energy consumption.
You do need therapy at SOME point, but for now there are a lot of helpful resources that are free. Look up some conversation starters directed at relationship repair/relationship maintenance, take a shot or 2 if it helps calm you both, and get down to the nitty gritty or the marriage simply won’t survive such a big conflicting issue.
My husband and I use a couple apps to help us keep in touch on an emotional level- Paired & Lasting. We use Lasting much more as it’s very informative and transparent. This has saved us in sooo many areas and we’ve never been happier. In fact, we are having our third child this summer and have never felt more in touch with one another emotionally, or physically.
If you have to worry about the safety of your cats – this relationship is done.
Dump the fiance. Nothing is going to change. If the wedding didn't change anything, nothing will. Go on the honeymoon with your friends and tell him he needs to be gone by the time you get back.
Exactly! I got my iud replaced last year because mine expired. Got a new one at the same appointment.
I really appreciate the advice. And I’m taking it to heart. On the whole “bangmaid” thing…. He bought me a sexy maid costume about 1.5 years into dating. And makes jokes about how he has to “punish the maid for not cleaning enough” immediately followed up with “I’m just kidding I’d never expect you to clean the whole place.” I don’t know what his life was like too much growing up as far as chores go but he has mentioned he believes his parents are really messy and he’d “never what to online like that” his Mom is a nurse and keeps good surfaces really clean but there is always cat food and litter on the floor. And the cat water bowl has hot water stains so bad it looks like hasn’t been touched by a sponge in years. So I don’t know how much of his messy nature is like a generational trauma cycle that has yet to be broken?
Yes I do present female but I identify as NB for clarification.
He often blames being tired or forgetting for not doing much. He is very forgetful. I don’t know how much of that is learned or how much of that is ADHD. We are both on that spectrum. I’m an inattentive daydreamer, he’s the over stereotyped “oh look a dog” kind. Neither of us are medicated.
I’ll include a little update as this literally just happened today. I started getting ready for bed and while he was making dinner he came into the room and initiated a conversation. My short term memory sucks but this is the gist; he specifically got upset about my Mom/child comment because he had an ex that was emotionally abuse and that kind of rhetoric was common ammunition that this ex used against him. I did stand up for myself and said that tho I am sorry my comment made him upset it’s not my responsibility to walk on egg shells around his past that did not involve me. Those feelings and trauma are things he needs to unpack himself and try to find growth from.
He also mentioned that he feels I don’t see the things he does do for me. I have chronic depression, and he does encourage me a lot to get up and take care of myself. He’ll remind me of plans I made and how I’d feel better if I stuck to them rather than bailing out. He’s carried me off the couch and into bed and brought me my makeup wipes after I fell asleep on said couch. I’ll admit I did not see that he was helping me, I have had to help others with depression and the emotional energy spent just trying to get someone out of bed it very draining. Since we moved in, tho I have done all the dishes, he has done most of the laundry and when I got angry about the baskets of clean clothes not put away he dropped everything and helped me organize the closet and dressed. And he is the only one that has taken the trash out of both the bathroom and the kitchen. I make the coffee M-F as I get up before he does but he always makes coffee and even brings me a cup ready on Saturday and Sunday.
We had a long talk about how we feel and how we made each other feel through actions inactions and words. I cried a lot. He admitted he had been dismissive about things and apologized for it, stating that he’d try to do better. He mentioned he was concern that my depression seemed to be getting worse because our physical intimacy has been lacking lately, and I haven’t been delving in my creative hobbies or video games (dead by daylight anyone?) and I have been falling asleep on the couch more and more. He did say he was stressed at work, his bosses keep nitpicking him over the tiniest things, and staff that has been their for longer push their worn off on him as “learning opportunities”. So I can understand from his perspective he needed to come home and be supported and got met with “you said you do these dishes and you didn’t?” Instead made him feel that I wasn’t seeing the things he was doing. And I’ll admit I wasn’t seeing them.
We discussed a plan going forward. We both promised to try to communicate better about needs and energy levels. Like “do you think you have enough energy to do the dishes today when you get home from work? I’d really appreciate if you did. Please let me know if that’s something you can get done today” we are also going to implement a chore chart. To hopefully divide up responsibilities more equally. I know it won’t be perfect and it’ll be a little 60/40 70/30 some times and not completely 50/50.
I just hope I’m not being manipulated and that he actually sticks to improving his cleanliness. I spent a long time explaining how when the home is taken care of it makes me feel cared for and our space respected. But we will have to see. I’ll def post any future updates on my own page.
There is no way he will accept it only once. Worst case scenario you will have to put a restraint order on him for stalking. Best case scenario, you date.
Are you sure the condom broke instead of being brokEN? This is really odd behavior if you used to be on the same page. Things like wanting kids aren't usually a change that happens over night. A pregnancy scare usually doesn't make someone excited to have a baby.
If it were me I'd be having a discussion in person in public, making sure to bring a friend for safety, to discuss that there is no baby and that even if there were that you would not be keeping it nor moving across the country to online with his parents.
This is dealbreaking stuff here (in my opinion.) If he's involving other people before you even got a doctors appointment, it seems like he's trying to prevent you from termination. This is all speculation, but it seems like his values and plans for the future are not the same as what he initially told you. Please be careful, and update us when and if you are comfortable.
I would like to know if my partner is a virgin or not. It wouldn’t turn me off if my partner was a virgin. Make sure you have enough lube. You should tell your partner that you’re a virgin based on how you describe him he should be understanding.
I’m just not sure how me telling her my feelings is defending myself. I said what I was feeling that’s why I messed up. I wasn’t asking for her understanding
I'd be less worried about the rent and more about the utilities, especially water.
Even at 18 most of the guys I knew were way more mature than that. This dude's playing a particularly douchey 18 year old, while he's 43.
I think what you’re husband did was weird and inappropriate.
However, I believe you should’ve let it slide for the sake of his birthday dinner and tell him the next day.
I also believe this incident was heightened by your disorder eating (congratulations on being on remission). I’m not saying it’s your fault but it seems that a) you took it as a greater aggression than it was and b) maybe your husband did it for something related to your eating disorder. All in all, you should also talk about how he deals with your disorder, if he worries, etc.
This type of thinking has negative impacts on his working relationships and his career.
Thats too easy
How would I do one? He doesn't have social media
Your bf is fine, so relax. Maybe avoid T and her personal problems
What your gf is asking for is permission to cheat on your monogamous relationship. Even if she were to want an actual open relationship for both of you, if you don't want it then it will almost certainly end in disaster.
She has every right to want that for herself, and you have every right to say no. When one partner wants monogamy and the other doesn't there isn't really any room for compromise.
The only advice I can give is that if I were in your position, I would be afraid that my saying no to this would only result in her going behind my back to do it anyway and I personally can't online like that.
OP is also a woman
Because your reading comprehension sucks. I just pointed out what she meant with what she said not that I agree with that. Learn to read.
Yeah, i know it sounds stupid. The other guy's girlfriend was there too, it was a group of 5 of them. But you're right, it seems dumb. I just felt checked out and wanted to get away from the whole situation…
What you wrote, the whole text is literally without reason.
He doesn’t like you using a vibrator is the toy clearly
SOMEONE PLS HELP ME?