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I might be wrong, but she may like the attention. As sad is that is, lots of people get a high from knowing someone is interested in them even if it will never be reciprocated AND they all ready have someone else. It can help someone feel more secure. It's not a nice thing to do because it is very selfish and toys with people's emotions.
Asking someone to set boundaries is a more than reasonable request. Her refusal should give you pause. Not just because it is a disregard for your feelings, but it says something about her character. Best of luck to you, friend. I hope it all works out.
And are you in therapy too? If you're still blurting things like this out to her, then clearly you're still dealing with those same issues you loaded onto her in her childhood. And if you want to break through those barriers she's put up that you helped to erect, you need to work on yourself, and do a lot of apologising.
I agree, but OP didn't blow the friendship.
I scrolled all this way to someone to say what the hobby was haha. Thank you
I left my abusive ex because it came processed to be our 6th years together then I realized do I want other 6 years of his bullshit. It took me long time and I noped right out of it and applied new job that required me to moved across country 3 days after our break up because I know myself I’ll fall back on him soon after break up due to his manipulation tactics.
She’s entitled to end the relationship for any reason, no matter how good or bad. You have to accept that, reflect on what you’ve identified about yourself and relationships, and then take the learning from that forwards.
It’s possible for a person be toxic/ controlling while trying to deal with things, such as if they were brought up repeatedly, in an aggressive manner, had to be discussed on your terms alone, etc. Not saying that’s the case here, but something to consider.
It’s a bit hard to unpack some of what you’ve said, including where you reference rules. I’m also not sure about how you’ve worded the “dating to marry” bit. Feelings are important in a relationship and it’s not a case that once you start dating someone you’re obligated to stick with them if you’re serious about marriage unless something really bad happens, even if the feelings just aren’t there. That just sounds like a recipe for a lot of misery and divorce.
Lubrication is a very very good thing, and you should not even consider trying to become less wet or less aroused.