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You had me up until:
He also said that he had followed me before I met him and had strong urges to sexually assault me, but lacked the opportunity. After he learned that I carried pepper spray through a mutual friend, he clains he stopped acting on these impulses/plans. I don't know if he had more to share, but after I learned of this, I was devastated.
He basically admitted he's dangerous and the only reason he didn't attack you was opportunity. So he created an opportunity to meet you anyhow, and decided to try dating you instead. What if you had turned him down?
Be safe, break up and if you can, get a restraining order. He told you he wants to rape you. Let your friends and family know he isn't safe to be around and not to share any of your info with him.
Note: If he tries to back-pedal or pretend this was some kind of test, it just proves he's emotionally manipulative, either way, he's still dangerous.
You need to make a timeline and plan of how long you’re going to support your sister for. Try to help her get on track for a better job. Maybe some sort of admin work that pays better and has decent benefits. Also help her get child support payments from him. Your girlfriend is right that this puts your own life back. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
All I can suggest is to use your triple-digit body count as evidence that your pre-marriage self knew all about sex and nothing about relationships. That all you know, you learned from him.