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Could mean she’d feel guilty and force herself. Or you’ll complain to the point she’ll feel guilty and give in. Could mean she’d be forced to argue with you, or forced to set boundaries
None of these are good or healthy, though?
If, as OP notes, they've already had 3 baby-free nights over the past year, and none of the above are referenced as issues during those events, there really isn't any logical conclusion here.
The fact that you are still “close friends” to the point that she knows when you get invited out for the night or to a party means that you are not just friends but still in a relationship without the sex.
You acknowledge that you feel out of control because you have given it all to her. This friendship is not healthy for you. And it's probably not good for her, either, because she is constantly hoping that you will get back together. You need to work on establishing healthy boundaries.
Healthy boundaries would mean:
not being in constant contact not telling her everything you do or every plan you have. spending time apart: a week, two weeks, a month your ex is not entitled to every detail about your life or every thought in your head catching up with each other during set periods of time
It is possible and healthy for you to spend time with other people and simply not tell her. You don't need to tell someone “I was invited to a party and you aren't.” Normally, if someone asks you if you are free on a night, you can say, “No, I have plans”. You are not required to disclose every single detail of your life just because someone asks.
It might help you if you pick periods of the day when you respond to her texts, for instance, set aside times when you are available and tell her that it is a good time to chat or text. Or better yet, catch up with her in person once a week or every other week and save your interactions for these times. You don't need to give her a running commentary on your life. This isn't healthy for either of you, because you are treating her like a gf.