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Side note: I want to include that in terms of house work I’m the one who does it all.
In this case, his overtime salary should be included in how much he contributes to the house. If he is not going to contribute to the daily house work he should be contributing more financially.
If he's living with you and responsible for half the bills then you tell him he unfortunately doesn't have that luxury and needs to get a job. If he's on his own then you let him sink and don't rescue him from the horrible idea or loan money
Let her go OP. It's her choice and you cannot force anyone to be with you. I'd suggest taking this time to also find yourself away from the relationship. Perhaps you'll realise somethings about your relationship, yourself or your wife. If going to raves and taking drugs is what she wants to do, then that's her choice. I'd suggest you contact her family and explain things to them and perhaps have them keep an eye on her. You didn't mention if you had kids together. I sincerely hope you don't because if you do, it'd make her recent actions so much worse. If she wants a separation, let her have it. If she wants to explore what's out there, let her go do it. You can't control what she does but you can control your own actions. When she's done exploring and wants to come back, depending on how you feel, you have the right to refuse. You have the right to not put up with her antics as well. You have the right to end your marriage completely. You have that right so decide what feels best to you and your wellbeing. I'm sorry you're in this position but a person who speaks negatively about their marriage is one who wants to leave said marraige. Let her make her choices and you make yours too.
Can I ask what it matters to you? You're his FWB
How can you not, she'll find out eventually