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So you need to decide what you want more.
Do you want to go on the humanitarian mission, or do you want a relationship and a family?
It is only a decision that you can make, and the consequences of it are yours to own.
Just know that while some people might say that you can do both, they are not entirely correct. Yes you can leave on your mission while still in a relationship, and hopefully you return and are still in a relationship, but it is not guaranteed, the relationship or your return. And the stress of that on a relationship plus the time and distance apart often end’s relationships harshly.
Definitely do not start a family before going.
Maybe this is why you’re ‘former’ personal trainer?