You’re both young. Don’t break up over something that will happen 8 years from now. It’s not great to have kids as a woman, have you offered to be the primary care taker? She might change her mind, my mom did. Around 30, a lot of women almost feel a biological urge, aka the baby fever. At least that’s what I’ve heard, it’s not scientific. Enjoy it while the relationship lasts.
He ain't ready to take the relationship to the level you want him to. And i suggest do not push it even if you feel its the direction your relationship should be taking You desreve better, do not stoop low. At this stage he should be the one to ask for your hand in marriage not you asking him if you should move in with him. Thats a mistake, slow it down.
I'm taking to heart everything that everyone is saying and I really appreciate the honesty. Sometimes a person needs to hear things from an outside perspective.
Take screen shots of bf phone. Unless he works for a modeling agency and she was showing him erotic sexy photos open to get some modeling work there is no excuse or doubt about her what she was pulling. You’ll figure out your friends fast. Sadly, yes some insist on learning things the hard way. With out no longer being her friend, she will do this to someone else, it’s in her character. Thankfully you caught on when you did. I have no doubts that your bad ex got his own private photo viewing but he kept it to himself. Please update when you have a chance.
You’re entirely allowed to not be friends with an ex. For anyone to tell you otherwise would be a form of manipulation. Oh it would be ideal if everyone could be friends after a relationship, but the reality of it is that break ups are messy. People deal with this messiness in their own way, according to their own boundaries. This is why I believe it’s manipulative. If your ex respected your boundaries, then they would accept your wishes. This comes off as them having their cake and eating it too. If they wanted to break up they should accept whatever the result of that break up may be respectfully.
If you need to go no contact, do it. If you want to reach out and be friends do it on your terms. If you’ve expressed that you still have feelings for them, than they know that it would be harmful to you to remain in contact. If that’s the case then they are putting their own feelings before yours to feel better about the break up. Do yourself a service and listen to what you want for your sake, as your ex did for themselves by exiting the relationship.
What? I have to ask first? Like I said, I have no idea what she has on.
Even when I’ve asked her what she’s doing that weekend/month she keeps it very vague and says she’s just really busy. There isn’t the opportunity to invite myself.
And I do actually disagree with the notion of inviting yourself to everything, that will in many cases be considered very rude.
I think it's less unreasonable given that they're optional medical bills for something that he's fine with but she has complained about.
Like, if a guy said, “This is not the way I imagined the boobs of anyone I’d want to be with long-term” and then was outraged that his girlfriend wanted him to help pay for cosmetic surgery I think I'd definitely roll my eyes. This is maybe a little different because he'd be restoring what is probably considered “normal”/healthy functioning for someone his age, but the main motivation for doing that is her pleasure.
I'm not saying she should pay for any it, especially if she's uncertain about this guy's long term potential aside from this problem. And he could well be a jerk given his dismissive attitude to the fact that their sex life isn't working for her as long as its working for him. But she has quite the nerve as well to date someone for a month and then tell this guy his health/body don't meet her standards and she might leave him over it. I feel like she should either go ahead and pull the plug on the relationship, consider helping pay, OR (and this is the one I'd vote for if the relationship is otherwise great) figure out if they can problem-solve together and make sure she's satisfied without pressuring him into medical procedures he doesn't want.
Tonight after going down on him for about an hour, I mention that he hasn’t cum recently. He admitted that he uses me
Yeah he certainly is using you.
I'm really sorry but youre accidentally fallen into a classic Codependent relationship where one person is the addict, in this case dependent on porn, and the other person is the enabler.
He's using you as a sort of adjunct to his porn use and by putting up with how selfish and terrible he is in bed, for so long, youre accidentally enabling it.
His addiction doesnt just affect his sex life it affects yours too. And he hasnt fixed it. I would walk away at this point, if you stay he just keep using you like a second favourite sex toy.
honestly you’re probably right
You’re right, and that’s completely logical. But i am so hyper fixated and concerned about breaking his trust. Idk why
You’re both young. Don’t break up over something that will happen 8 years from now. It’s not great to have kids as a woman, have you offered to be the primary care taker? She might change her mind, my mom did. Around 30, a lot of women almost feel a biological urge, aka the baby fever. At least that’s what I’ve heard, it’s not scientific. Enjoy it while the relationship lasts.
He ain't ready to take the relationship to the level you want him to. And i suggest do not push it even if you feel its the direction your relationship should be taking You desreve better, do not stoop low. At this stage he should be the one to ask for your hand in marriage not you asking him if you should move in with him. Thats a mistake, slow it down.
an few week isn’t enough to fall deeply in love. take it show
I'm taking to heart everything that everyone is saying and I really appreciate the honesty. Sometimes a person needs to hear things from an outside perspective.
Take screen shots of bf phone. Unless he works for a modeling agency and she was showing him erotic sexy photos open to get some modeling work there is no excuse or doubt about her what she was pulling. You’ll figure out your friends fast. Sadly, yes some insist on learning things the hard way. With out no longer being her friend, she will do this to someone else, it’s in her character. Thankfully you caught on when you did. I have no doubts that your bad ex got his own private photo viewing but he kept it to himself. Please update when you have a chance.
You’re entirely allowed to not be friends with an ex. For anyone to tell you otherwise would be a form of manipulation. Oh it would be ideal if everyone could be friends after a relationship, but the reality of it is that break ups are messy. People deal with this messiness in their own way, according to their own boundaries. This is why I believe it’s manipulative. If your ex respected your boundaries, then they would accept your wishes. This comes off as them having their cake and eating it too. If they wanted to break up they should accept whatever the result of that break up may be respectfully.
If you need to go no contact, do it. If you want to reach out and be friends do it on your terms. If you’ve expressed that you still have feelings for them, than they know that it would be harmful to you to remain in contact. If that’s the case then they are putting their own feelings before yours to feel better about the break up. Do yourself a service and listen to what you want for your sake, as your ex did for themselves by exiting the relationship.
If you don’t want to get accused of trolling then don’t troll
Just tell her you don’t want sex until she’s washed her genitals. Poor hygiene isn’t ok.
What? I have to ask first? Like I said, I have no idea what she has on.
Even when I’ve asked her what she’s doing that weekend/month she keeps it very vague and says she’s just really busy. There isn’t the opportunity to invite myself.
And I do actually disagree with the notion of inviting yourself to everything, that will in many cases be considered very rude.
Right? Like thanks for the wild speculation but I didn’t ask for a guess
As embarrassed as she said he was? Not likely. But whatever. I don't really care much.
I think it's less unreasonable given that they're optional medical bills for something that he's fine with but she has complained about.
Like, if a guy said, “This is not the way I imagined the boobs of anyone I’d want to be with long-term” and then was outraged that his girlfriend wanted him to help pay for cosmetic surgery I think I'd definitely roll my eyes. This is maybe a little different because he'd be restoring what is probably considered “normal”/healthy functioning for someone his age, but the main motivation for doing that is her pleasure.
I'm not saying she should pay for any it, especially if she's uncertain about this guy's long term potential aside from this problem. And he could well be a jerk given his dismissive attitude to the fact that their sex life isn't working for her as long as its working for him. But she has quite the nerve as well to date someone for a month and then tell this guy his health/body don't meet her standards and she might leave him over it. I feel like she should either go ahead and pull the plug on the relationship, consider helping pay, OR (and this is the one I'd vote for if the relationship is otherwise great) figure out if they can problem-solve together and make sure she's satisfied without pressuring him into medical procedures he doesn't want.
Tonight after going down on him for about an hour, I mention that he hasn’t cum recently. He admitted that he uses me
Yeah he certainly is using you.
I'm really sorry but youre accidentally fallen into a classic Codependent relationship where one person is the addict, in this case dependent on porn, and the other person is the enabler.
He's using you as a sort of adjunct to his porn use and by putting up with how selfish and terrible he is in bed, for so long, youre accidentally enabling it.
His addiction doesnt just affect his sex life it affects yours too. And he hasnt fixed it. I would walk away at this point, if you stay he just keep using you like a second favourite sex toy.