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personally, i would probably feel exactly how you do. my question is, how long will this behaviour continue and how long will you let it haunt you?
My husband was in a similar situation with me.
Part of it was also Covid and the places we decided to on-line. I met him in a country that i visited at the time, far away from where I grew up in and stayed there for him. Then we moved back to his home country, even farther away from my home. I did not like both places and learned to speak up for myself recently on where I see myself living, he agreed after many conversations, so we‘re in the process of moving now.
Also during Covid I was not working and then the internet kind of sucked us all in.
I think it sounds like she‘s depressed. Or she lost the believe in herself. Something is definitely going on with her. She‘s a little lost here.
I would guess her response is to search for answers live! because she can‘t figure out her purpose in life.
Did you ask her where she sees herself in a couple of years? Do you guys want to have children? Is the PCOS affecting it?
In general I would just start out with kind, non accusing and non judgemental questions to find out what the root cause is here. If you can just listen to her with patience to get to the bottom of the block that she experiences. You can help her by just listening to her and help her with her emotions which is more effective than providing her with materialistic things right now like cars and laptops.
Maybe having regular open conversations will improve you guys connection, help you to get to know her better and she has someone to share her worries with. Just being able to open her soul and talk about internal problems to you might open doors for her to get motivated again in life. I think she will be grateful to be able to open up to you without the fear of disappointing you.
Also while communicating try not to fix or change her. Just hear her out patiently.
Then I would just start giving her many compliments during the day (that target her internal qualities, not looks)
Like you are so smart, talented, etc. I admire your strength…
Try to do this for a couple of weeks and see if it helps.
That might help her too to reestablish believe in herself. And builds up her self worth.
If nothing helps then couple‘s counseling could help too.
Also apparently OP is both 32 and 30, based on the 2 posts left on their account.
I worked 2 full time jobs before I was a mom… he told me I can be a stay at home mom, this was our agreement…. I just thought he would take care of me… but I get it… a stay at home mom doesn't deserve help or care… I give up with this… everyone thinks the same huh…