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Birth Date: 1980-01-31
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
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No? If an adult can’t have an important albeit uncomfortable convo with their spouse, they are failing their duties as a partner. Just because she doesn’t like it does not mean she can refuse to discuss things or ever have disagreements.
How would you feel if your partner avoided any disagreement by immediately being ill and ignored your concerns?
I’d be inclined to just call him out then.
To me, an emotional affair is worse than a one night stand sexual affair. It really is a breach of the relationship in a big and intentional way. I could far easier forgive a partner who got drunk on a business trip and banged a waitress from the strip club they took a client to than the kind of intimate messaging you’re describing.
I’m a pretty forgiving person, sex positive, not even opposed to an open relationship if mutually agreed upon. But trust and safety are important to me. And by safe I mean emotionally AND physically.
So I’d probably blow it up right now.
Example: I suspected that my (ex) husband was bi or gay based on things I found. I brought that to him and told him that I was cool with him being with men as long as he kept me safe emotionally and physically (used protection). This convo happened multiple times over a decade and he always denied that he was into men and I was misinterpreting things. Welp…I caught him in an affair with a man and filed for divorce the next day. I also got HSV2 and HPV out of that marriage as he’d been screwing around, not using protection, for our entire marriage.
Sometimes you just have to blow it up and get out.