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Yup.
yes exactly. i know this isn’t what you wanted to hear OP, but please listen.
I just can't beliebe he'd do that on purpose. He loves me.
Let's look at that. You say he loves you. But 'you' doesn't want kids, always told him you didn't want kids, he insisted you would change your mind when you 'grew up' (so he knew you weren't 'grown up' enough to make decisions but he was still involved with you?) and here you are at 21 still saying you don't want kids and his response is 'do it or I'll leave you'. Does that sound like something a person who loves you would say? “I don't care if you don't want kids and I don't care if you it would risk your job and I don't care if it would risk your future, he only cares about what he wants, even though it will deeply effect you and impact your life for many, many years. You have people in your life that you love right? Truly, genuinely love? Does that sound right to you? Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound horrifyingly selfish and controlling?
'You' likes to go out with friends. But he doesn't like that and won't allow it and forces you to choose between having friends or being in a relationship with him. Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound selfish and controlling?
'You' wants to spend a holiday with your mom for the first time in a long time. Because of that, he threw you away. You always spend Christmas with him and the first time in a long time that you don't, he washes his hands of you. Is that 'love'? Or is it selfish and controlling?
Then he's angry with you because you didn't react the way he wanted you to. He had it all planned out in his mind. He – selfishly – wanted you with him for Christmas so he made a plan. He would pretend he was breaking up with you to scare you into doing what he wanted. He deliberately attempted to manipulate you into getting what he wanted. But his plan backfired. It didn't work. He 'fake' broke up with you and you took him at his word. You believed he was being truthful and that he meant what he said so you accepted his break up. His plan backfired!! You were supposed to be scared to lose him!! You were supposed to beg and grovel for him! Now what his he going to do?? His manipulation game didn't work. So, he turns it all around and – completely overlooking that he broke up with you – is now angry that you 'didn't care enough to fight the break up' or whatever fucking nonsense he has cooked up to disguise his initial manipulation and find another way to force you back to him. Does that sound like 'love'? Or does it sound selfish, controlling and manipulative?
'You' doesn't want kids, wants to focus on becoming an adult, wants to get her professional and personal life together, wants to do things with friends, wants to spend holidays with family sometimes. He doesn't 'love' that. He doesn't even 'like' that. And by that I mean you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. He is slowly turning you into someone entirely different. Someone who does what he wants when he wants it. And he started that process 8 years ago when you were a 13 year old child. And he has been working that process every minute of every day ever since. Bit by bit. Suggestion by suggestion. Angry reaction by angry reaction.
The reason people like him choose very young girls is because they generally haven't formed enough opinions about the world to have faith in their own so when someone who says they 'love' you says “No no, silly, your opinion is just young and stupid. You'll see when you get older like me. Just do what I say until then and you'll be fine.” When other people point out that you're being manipulated, you'll get “Now who should you believe, these random people (like your parents) or me, the person who 'loves' you, takes care of you and looks after you and does so much for you?” You'll get things like “I only tell you this for your own good. It's because I 'love' you that I don't want you hanging out with those people / going out with friends / having a job / want you to hurry up and get pregnant. I'm the only one who really cares about your best interests. Why, I 'love' you so much I even know what's best for you more than you do!”
He doesn't want you to have relationships with other people or have experiences that he isn't in control of because it may cause you to form your own opinions. You might start making comparisons and see that people can be happy in a variety of ways in a variety of settings and a variety of relationships. That you can, in fact, have a very happy life if you choose to be childfree. That you can, in fact, spend some of your holidays with your mom. That you can, in fact, choose to focus on your career and on experiencing more of life before you entertain the idea of having kids. You'll know that because you will have direct experience of it through living a normal fucking life where you experience shit and see people living all kinds of different ways and being perfectly fucking happy about it. If he keeps you in his controlled, sheltered environment than you can really only think and feel whatever he tells you to think and feel.
He 'loves' you the same way you 'loved' your barbie doll when you were a kid. Everything she 'did', everything she 'felt', every 'opinion' she had came from you, not her. She was just an empty plastic thing with no brain and could only do what you decided she would do. He doesn't 'love' you, he loves what he he's turning you into.
Good luck OP. Taking time and space is wise. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are easy to regret. Decisions made after careful consideration are easier to on-line with.
If you’re going to do some reading in infidelity recovery, check out the following subs:
Survivinginfidelity. Mostly a community of those who chose not to stay, had a catastrophic reconciliation, or a wayward who just left.
AsOneAfterInfidelity. Community of those choosing to try rebuilding. Has a really good recovery library in its wiki.
You are 21 years old. Quit acting like a child and block his number.
Im just a guy, so might not be that great of a viewpoint, but she might be having a case of being interested vs having to stay proffesional? Considering how nowadays, being unproffesional is a career's death kneel, she might be having really conflicting emotions. Could that be the reason, no idea.
Of course, it might not mean anything, too >
Makes sense. I'll communicate that to him and clear things up. ty
This will end badly. A casual word from you about her friend that your wife thinks should be reserved for her and you've got a serious serious problem… Wife might ask how you enjoyed the third and was she better than herself or how does she compare…. It's a trap far worse than asking you if her butt looks big in this dress. There's no right answer, only seriously wrong ones.