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No as a general rule. Yes if it’s outside circumstances that caused the breakup. Moving abroad, long distance, then rekindle if paths cross again.
Some things are better left unsaid lol
she is communicating and your discounting her feeling. This is unhealthy.
I'm starting to wonder if this is just a creative writing exercise by this poster
I mean, i get that there are people like this out there, but…
Jealous for a kid? Really?
Not to mention the gravity of this accusation. Like wtf is wrong with people. Doesn't she also looks at little kids? Maybe she even smiles at them as well. Throw that to her and see what her reaction is like, probably gonna say its nothing and pretend she didn't accused you of doing the same
Lots of good advice here and your last paragraph is spot on. I just had my first baby in jan of 2021, and my husband and I had worked out childcare financing and had also spoken to our parents about childcare help and if they would be willing or able to help.
While it is difficult to be a working parent, my husband and I and tons of other families make it work without regular (free?) help from the four grandparents who on-line nearby. Part of choosing to be a parent is taking on these new challenges and figuring it out.
I would advise maybe some family counseling before the baby comes, or showing her this post and all of the responses. She doesn’t seem to see you as a person and that is feeding the sense of entitlement that she is approaching you with.
The thing is that you grow feelings for him where he does not … if he really have feelings for you he wouldn’t be using the dating apps again … you should be straight and bring it up to him .
yes, i forgot that, to have an opinion on something, even if that opinion is wrong, i have to have a degree on it first. my apologies
Are you afraid of him?
….I’m a bisexual woman who lived with my first long term partner for 5 years…they came out as trans fem in the third year of our relationship and I was very supportive, helped them learn about women’s clothing, wearing makeup, all those things… ultimately tho, it was too hard to stay together. I wanted things from my primary partnership that they couldn’t provide, and my presence in their life made them appear more cis and het than they wanted to be…we had a very kind and loving breakup and are still friends 7 years later….
My story won’t necessarily be yours…but I do think it’s important to recognize that when you change something so major, a lot of other things will also change…it’s just a tough thing to navigate…
One more thing, I don’t think it’s fair to just call everyone “they”. I know it may be an unpopular opinion, but I think if we want to on-line in a world where we respect trans ppl and their pronouns then being cis has to have validity too…cis people also feel their gender identities strongly sometimes and I just think those should be respected too….I love many nb people, but I’m not one of them. My pronouns are she/her and I wouldn’t like to be called they/them…just saying…
We have talked about all this as long as I can remember. I addressed this in detail when it came up during the 3rd or 4th year of our relationship.
It is always the same circular argument from her;
“I hate to do things alone, I don't enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy traveling alone. I don't like doing anything alone.”
Me; “ok that means you should make friends. So go take some classes, talk to people, be more active, go to the gym, go for Meetups, Facebook events. Sign up for Tinder/Bumble, meet people”
Her: “you cannot make friends as adults. It doesn't work, and people are boring and lame. I can't stand them and nobody likes me”
….
You’re wrong. Most men don’t take the hint. Even a wedding ring won’t put off a lot of them.
Giving them what they want (your number) is often the only way to get rid of them. A fake number is just fine because you’re not actually interested. She’s just protecting herself. Let her do it.
Rehome your abused dog immediately. Neverer get a pet again as long as you are living with him. If you truly love the dog, you will get him out tonight. You should seriously consider talking to a counselor to find out why you are staying with him. I admit that the first sign of abusive behavior toward animals, I moved out that week, and that it's not a realistic expectation for others. I do, however, think counseling is always the first step to sort it your thoughts, specifically the unspoken ones. Iwish you the best of luck. Please rehome the dog asap. I hope you will be okay. Take care.
Okay, 35 is too old to be engaging in this type of behavior, and I will warn you ->at this juncture in your relationship, if you don't see the red flag here, nothing we say will dissuade you from continuing this relationship, right?
He's acting up & acting out. He's engaging in demonstrative behavior (violence) instead of talking things out. He also seems to be engaging in “it's the end!” behavior. People will do this when they don't believe they deserve to be in an adult relationship. They'll push their significant other right out the door with this sort of patterned behavior.
He may be lovely & romantic at times. But I can tell by your post that you've grown weary of the patterns. It's great, great, great….then hysterical overreaction & fight. Storming out. Texting and asking if it's over. Do you know why he does this?
He wants a head's up on when he should unalive himself.
Then you can deal with all that guilt. He's emotionally blackmailing you, don't you see this? Because you are the one who is crying when he does this. He's punching walls and getting hysterical, walking out. And he did this two times in previous relationships, so you can see that's HE'S REPEATING HIS ABERRANT BEHAVIOR.
35 is too old to behave like this. If you remain with this man, you better insist on him getting counseling. First, he goes. Then you all can go together later, but he's got issues to work thru and the last thing you want is him taking it out on you, physically. But that's where I see this is headed. BEWARE.
Omg lemme judge him! He is crazy insecure! I can GUARANTEE you he is no where near as attractive as he thinks he is!! Aside from that, do you really want to spend your time with someone who constantly needs validation? Or would you rather be having fun and enjoying life with someone who is confident in themselves enough to not compare?
If you really want to stay with him, be way more direct. Start thinking dominatrix level bossy in the bedroom. Give him orders since gentle suggestions don't work. Don't worry about hurting his feelings right now. He hasn't been worried about yours in this regard.
Sexual incompatibility is a valid enough reason to walk away, if you need reassurance. He's likely always been bad at sex and won't get any better at his big age.
Expecting a $600 bottle of perfume for Valentine’s Day is insane, particularly after only a few months of dating and you’re right, it does say something that she spent so little on you while expecting a very expensive, frivolous gift for herself.
The fact that she feels entitled to be angry also speaks volumes about her character and it doesn’t reflect well on her at all. It rather sounds like she expects to be treated like a spoilt princess and lavished with expensive gifts while offering very little in return. When you speak again, you might want to ask her about her expectations going forward and decide if you want the kind of relationship she wants.
Sounds gay
LOL from her point “someone had to do it”
Im guessing you need to have a “whats each other boundaries” meeting. This is why we date before we decide to get married I guess
He technically rejected me. He brought up us dating and we both had feelings for each other and wanted to date, he was very forward about it but as December came along we both kinda realised how busy our lives are when we’re at uni and not on vacation leave. I would have been happy to with around my busy schedule but he said that he didn’t feel like he could. Family is super important to him so any free time he has, he’ll usually spend hanging out with them and so I didn’t want to impose on that and defiantly agreed that it would be hot to spend enough time together. But for the rest of December we were great together just hanging out as friends, we were going great. His birthday is December 29th so i went to his birthday party gave him his present and then left. He then calls me asking if we can meet up again after so I agree and we meet up at the park and he tells me how touching my card was and how thankful he was for my present and we just hang out and it’s lovely. And that was the last time we’ve seen each other.
I've been with someone like this, and it doesn't take long to get worse, especially if you get 'locked in' marriage or pregnant. I'm not usually one to say something like this, but you need to get out NOW before it gets worse. This IS abuse and it WILL get worse. I can't stress this enough, RUN.
Why did you start dating fourth months ago instead of years ago?
Right? This “therapist” is clearly just using some psychology buzzwords (but not actual diagnoses) to justify why OP needs to bend over backwards for him. Ugh
Boy you sure appear to be stuck! The actuality of it is you’re not. This guy is controlling, he treats you in all ways except for kindness & respect. You need to strengthen yourself and stick to your convictions. You’ve determined you’re leaving, so start planning. What would the cost be to you if you broke your lease? Are you listed on the lease as a leasee? Is there somewhere else you can on-line for minimal amount of money (like a friends couch) and pay your share of the lease even if you aren’t there? Can you and your BFF manage the lease without your bf? Can you stick in there for 8 months until the lease is up? You need a plan, then you need a sit down conversation with him to tell him it’s over and no matter how he twists things you stick to your plan and end it. It’s not going to be easy, but you must for your own sanity. Just know you are in the seat of power so don’t give it up to him even if you have to sleep on the couch for the next 8 months.
Way to bury the lead. He’s a cheater. He just is. Move on. And you know he’s a liar.
Then get formal. Here’s the reality. He can fight you for time with the kid and that’s fine. However, if there are sought criminals in that house the safety of the child is the only priority, so those people need to be out of there. That means the police removing them from the home that your ex insists on spending time with the child in.
Then get formal. Here’s the reality. He can fight you for time with the kid and that’s fine. However, if there are sought criminals in that house the safety of the child is the only priority, so those people need to be out of there. That means the police removing them from the home that your ex insists on spending time with the child in.