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It’s a very unreasonable request from your mom. My dad cheated on my mom all my life. They finally divorced way after I was married. There are other things different in my situation however your dad is still your dad just like your mom is still your mom. She can be as pissed and hate him as much as she wants and she doesn’t have to be around them or tolerate them etc. That is her choice but she can’t dictate you, a grown man, who you have a relationship with. She can’t make you choose between them.
Now if you tell her you love them both and he is still your dad just as you love her & she’s your mom you can’t just throw him away. But if she gets angry and doesn’t you around then that is her choice to make.
Believe me I know this feeling. She is putting you in a no win situation. No matter your choice you’ll only have a relationship w one parent. I feel she’ll withdraw from you saying you love the AP wife more than her. I know because my mom in just as irrational.
My best advice is to tell her how much you love her. How much you want her in your life. And want nothing to come between y’all. Then tell her how much you love your dad and how much you want him in your life. That just because you still want a relationship w your dad doesn’t mean you’re choosing his wife over her. Tell her how important your relationship w your brothers and don’t want to be torn from them either.
Tell her you acknowledge how dad messed up but you don’t want to loose either parent and that she’s putting you in an impossible situation forcing you to choose. Then tell her you choose both of them and hope she understands your decision. Then tell her how important a relationship w both of them will be when you give them grandkids one day. Tell her how important it will be for your kids to know both their grandparents.
Most times divorced parents do this to young kids when divorced because they can’t understand the situation and they’ll have to choose because 1) they don’t know better & 2) they can’t drive and go visit them as they choose to.
Just be honest w both of them. After that you have done the right thing. Then if either don’t want a relationship w you after that then it’s all on them. It’ll still suck but you won’t have made that choice. I wish you the best.
Just call the non emergency number for your local police. Tell them she admitted to watching CP and you're concerned. They'll look into it. I wouldn't go further than that though.
LOOK AT GOD!!! Thank goodness you cannot get pregnant by this AH!!! Divorce him! He literally let his brother rape you… that’s exactly what happened. He saw nothing wrong with rape. I’d call the police and have them arrested as well.