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We do have plans to get married, and he’s even talked to his dad about it. This really took me by surprise. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever truly be part of his family even if we’re married
My fiancé didn't even graduate high school (technically) and it doesn't matter one bit. I myself have done high school, college and even received an unconditional offer from a well known university and it still doesn't matter.
So you know him 8 weeks and you are pregnant 7 weeks? You do know how contraception works, right? Let me guess the a-holes doesn't like condoms?
I personally wouldn’t really be okay with that if I was in your shoes and I wasn’t in an open relationship
❤️ Ty!
She is abusive and you deserve better. Please leave her.
You okay buddy?
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THIS is what I need, im gonna say that, thank you so much dude.
Honey, he doesn’t have tater tot’s money he doesn’t get to play those games.
He is a common man so he gets common lifestyle.
It’s been fun watching tater tot get a nice knock down, wondering what bigger fish he pissed off.
She broke it off to have sex with another guy and then decided she wanted you back. Sorry but no, don’t allow yourself to be treated like that.
Lol,she’ll survive!
Red flags, dude. I couldn’t look a friend the same for getting rid of their dog like that, let alone my potential life long partner. You might want to consider coparenting… ultimatums and this controlling behavior probably isn’t how you want to on-line the rest of your life. I would never get rid of my dog.
“years ago” doesn't apply anymore, times change values change, and dismissing it just because it's a girl and her friend is pretty homophobic because you really mean you view lesbian relationships as less than
The house prices skyrockets, so how is this an excuse not to sell their house and split the money? Oh yes, it is so comfortable to on-line with his wifey, oh sorry, ex, who do the chores, i guess also cooks for all, they eat together as a happy family since they have a daughter… And then he comes to you when he feels horny or his ex-wife annoys him. He wants his cake and eat it too.
As if you go out of a divorce with a big win. But he doesn't want to invest anything, no work, no money, thought. He want that everything stays how it is because it is so fucking comfortable for him. But he doesn't care about you or that it has no future for you both. He doesn't care. Because he is selfish.
Stop getting played. Either he start to behave as a true partner and move out or he isn't your partner. You don't want to be a joke for longer. You are worth so much more!
This.
Put (even the grocery thing on) on the calendar, maybe once or twice a month and make sure the days are varied. That way, that week you get her something.
Some things you don't let go.
It changes the value to me
If you post here regularly, you are bound to get it wrong eventually, you're only human. The posters who come here with clear biases and agendas to promote are the main problem with this sub, not people like you who have the strength to apologize and grow.
It’s not you, it’s normal. You will never always be in the mood. You have moments where you don’t want to do it.
yes, but none of that is the case here. What is more likely, is the high weight causes risk for pregnancy, risk for illness, risk for accident etc. You wildly went out of line shaming OP who does not come off as someone who is shallow. Quite the opposite. OP comes off as someone who is vulnerable and honest and seeking help. OP is asking out of concern to try to save his relationship.
No. This is not a debilitating illness that requires surgery. He has had the vacation planned for months. She scheduled her surgery purposefully, to spite him and ruin his first chance at a vacation because she hates his best friend.
Thanks, I appreciate your response.
You’ve got to be able to have open and honest conversations with her about money
So your step sister wants you to use her as a flashlight since she took yours…. and you forgot to use a condom while using your stepsister as a fleshlight… or let me guess she told you it was okay she can't get pregnant and you believed her…
You're not lost just trying to find a way to tell your parents
You are 22, any relationship which ends at this stage is no big deal. I am serious. You were SA'd and your bf who should have been someone you could trust decided his feelings were hurt… Your attachment to him is not healthy because he effed up.
See I was in a toxic relationship when I was SA'd and even my “bf” at the time recognised it was SA. Because it is not naked and does not cost a thing.
being in love is not something you have to do anything about. Sometimes feelings make no sense and thus you don't acknowledge them.
You should go to a therapist, briefly, to find out how to deal with your own rage and alarm when you learn mom has been drinking. Other than that, stay out of this. I have dealt with an alcoholic family member. You can't fix them. The only one who could is they themself.
Also, if mom has not adapted to changes such as her only child growing up and moving out, that is NOT something you should feel guilty about.
You don't need to cut her off, just limit your exposure and learn to be cool about it when you learn she has fallen off the wagon again.
Seems to me you should break up and take a break from dating while you work on yourself with a therapist.
Nothing about the current dynamic sounds healthy.
And frankly, I suspect he’s just too much of a coward to just break up and is hoping you’ll make the call if he just steps away.
He is straight up lying. He took twice as long as he said it would because of having to stop and get you a “surprise” breakfast to cover his ass when you called him out. Get your keys (all of them) and send him on his way. He is so full of shit, I can smell it from here. Please, know you deserve better than someone who shows a complete disrespect for your boundaries.
*addressing lmao
Hi u/Opposite_Lettuce For some reasons reddit wouldnt show me your comment here. But I could see it on my notification. Had to visit your profile to read it.
Thanks again for your warm words and advices!. It gave me a comfort and a sort of closure. I will definitely consider it.
I’m also keto and practice IF. When I started dating my BF he was so disappointed that I wouldn’t let him cook for me. It was like months before I’d eat a meal with him. Thankfully, he gets my eating habits and makes me keto friendly meals and even makes me keto desserts.
People get weirded out when they find out in keto or practice IF or extended fasts. I eat meat and veggies with some dairy and nuts. Tell me how that isn’t healthy?
People have weird kinks. I'm a sex worker so truly nothing surprises me at this point. You want the truth? Lots of people have some unusual kink, whether it's this or something else. Human beings find the taboo to be very enticing. It's not uncommon that during puberty certain wires can get crossed forming unusual attractions.
It's not his fault and he's not some disgusting monster. It's definitely not great that he's been feeding into it as it's something I assume is illegal if not morally wrong. However this absolutely does not mean that he wants to or had ever engaged in such practices himself. Please don't assume that as MOST kinks like this are purely fantasy.
You have two choices. Pretend you never saw it because you did breach his trust by snooping. Forget it and move on with your lives. Or option two, admit to snooping. Let him know you saw it and it really freaked you you and you'd like to pursue therapy together.
You posted about the candle before, I remember that..
One step at a time, and it seems you are starting to walk down that path. Trust takes time to rebuild
Someone who says they love you, but doesn't treat you nicely when you are together? They don't love you.
Someone who says they love you, but doesn't show up to dates you planned, over and over? They don't love you.
Yes! This is my belief also. She said that I didn't give her enough of a chance to work through these things, however, I felt like the behavior and talk were not aligning, and it caused me to lose credibility in her and trust that she was authentically representing herself.
Although, maybe she's right, I could have done a better job of communicating when I didn't like something. But, I also think of two things: there was so much that I was on the verge of changing somebody's behavior for my own benefit, something I refuse to do. And, the couple of times when I did attempt to have a conversation, I was stonewalled, so I don't think a mature conversation about boundaries was even possible.
I'd encourage you to read the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
I actually have this book, somewhere! Somebody gifted it to me, and suggested I read it prior to my (now defunct) marriage. It got tossed into the stack of self-help books that people give and recommend, but these days, I really wish I had read it. I'm going to go find it and give it a go. Thank you!
or they may not realize what they are doing
She said this last night. I don't know… like saying things like this is causing me to second guess myself. But she's also said things like “I haven't been in a relationship in two years, so I am learning what it's like to have a man wanting my time” while the next day alluding to some asshole ex-boyfriend from recent history.
le sigh
Different conversation then, I think. We all know why he hit on you at the bar when you were 20- you were young, pretty & vulnerable. The question is what is going on in your relationship now, and what was going wrong with his attitude towards his marriage then? ie you are having (for good reason) issues of trust, and he needs to be open to discussing that with you.
He tried it and didn't like it and is therefore not bi or gay. Idk what is confusing you here lol
No
Right! The “friend” may not be the ‘type to just cut people off’… OP should say ‘But I am, also the type who cuts off rapists and their enablers/sympathizers, bye’.
Edit: I just wanted to add that I'm not comfortable to say any details more than what i already wrote. It was not an accident. If you have any advice for me with the information i've provided then I'm thankful. If not, please don't try to push me to divulge details and move on with your life. I think my post was on point and the details are all there. I love my mom and I don't want to lose her but I'm because I can't even look at her without feeling guilt, shame disgust and unprecedented anger.
Look, NOBODY, can provide you sound advice without context. A therapist, a trained professional, would not be able to help you without context. From my experience, the only reason you leave out details when asking for advice is not because you want advice but because you want validation.
At the end of the day, you've got a very complicated situation with some difficult emotions to work through. You really should find a therapist who will be able to help you work through these feelings, and you'll need to work through everything. A professional third party who is unbiased will be the best way to help you best process this situation.
Without context the only best advice is for you to find someone, preferably an unbiased third party, to go over the situation with and share the details with. Per your OP this is most likely not a very black and white situation as you seem to try to present it and thus you need to work through the details and your feelings with someone.
I’m sorry I don’t think that I was very clear on that comment. We currently have a home that is next-door to my parents in Louisiana I am currently working out of Texas, which is technically closer to her family so if I move my family with me where I work, she would be within two hours of her family as opposed to four hours. Where are we currently on-line in Louisiana. So in my mind, I feel like it makes sense that I could be home every day to help my wife with the kids and spend time with my wife and kids and she would be well within visiting distance of her family and not be right next-door to my family did she has issues with. I agree I am definitely going to have to make changes to make this work. I just want to make the right choices for all of our futures.
Sorry, this is one of those absolutes that if one absolutely does and one absolutely doesn't, the relationship absolutely won't work.
What are you going to do? Try and wear her down? Try and convince her? Promise you'll do all the work? Baby-trap her?
Do you want your future kids to have a mom who never wanted them? only had them to make you happy? will probably resent them?
Or will you go through life desperately wanting kids and not having them to make her happy? Are you still going to be madly in love with her at 40, 50, 60, when you're childless because you sacrificed that for her?
You're both very young. And minds can definitely change. Life happens. But only the two of you know how absolute you are on this decision, and if that's the case, then you need to look to how that's going to look for the two of you in the future.
THANK YOU
Lol okay lemme know how it works out for ya
It means she prefers wrestling pigs in the mud.
I've had an on/off girlfriend for almost a decade like this. She dates and abusive piece of shit. They break up. We get together, I treat her right and she isn't used to it, has a freak out and finds some weird reason to break up with me on a whim and the cycle repeats.
Nothing you can do about it other than hope she learns what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like.
it’s the facts of life and human biology. accept reality dude.
I really hope you were meeting him at the date location tomorrow and he wasn't picking you up from your house. If you were going to meet him there, I would tell him that you don't use read receipts and have changed your mind about the date. If he was going to pick you up, I would say the same, but also not be home and respond with “oh I didn't give you my real address, that wouldn't be safe – take care.”
I'm sure helping you out when you broke your ankle made her look like a supportive hero, did she document it and post about it?
How about she tells you everything now on one time and afterwards never again?
See
There's a difference between hearing what someone is saying and listening to it, she opened up, told you she felt pressured and you basically doubled down and said yeah, it's annoying.
Just putting yourself in someone else's shoes and saying okay, what can I do to help you feel less pressured will open a constructive dialogue instead of making that person feel like you're not taking their emotions seriously
You can teach your son humility even if you are financially comfortable (in fact, it is all the more important to do so the richer one is). However, I would definitely recommend investigating the true breakdown of your husbands finances, the safeguards, your outgoings and the potential financial expectations of this cousin (what is her cost of living? Etc). It is very important for you to both have a real understanding and open communication about the financial side of this decision because it will impact on everyone's future's.
It is easy to be charitable when you have plenty of money to give away, but the reality of poverty or strained finances can be very corrosive to even the best of relationships (in fact, financial stress is one of the most common causes or contributing factors for relationship breakdown). Rather than teaching him humility, if your son found out that he would have otherwise had a very good life were it not for his father's decisions to take on other peoples lives, your son will likely just feel like he had his future stolen from him either because his father's good nature was taken advantage of by other relatives, or because he is a love fool (or both).
I've lived both rich and poor growing up. Rich doesn't always mean that you'll be spoiled, poor doesn't always mean that you'll learn humility (these things are not necessarily synonymous). And it is very difficult to work your way back up from the bottom once you've dropped below a certain level of income; poverty is a vicious cycle that is very nude to get out of once you've gotten stuck it's spin.
You live a blessed life. Why it is blessed, could be blessed for many reasons. But I would warn you to not take the good times for granted, since much of your current quality of life is essentially afforded by an ease of wealth (so you need to protect that for both your sake and your son's sake).
Culturally-speaking, it is entirely your choice what you want to do in your marriage. Different culture's have myriad different takes on relationships, and the approaches across the world are endlessly diverse. But you should make sure that if you do follow a tradition, that you are following it out of genuine desire. It does sounds like you are not against the prospect of your husband taking on a 2nd wife (especially for the reasons given), my advice would be that if you do decide to agree to it (and this is ultimately your choice to make!) to make sure its a decision that you're 100% informed and communicative about.
Does your husband expect to have a sexual relationship with your cousin (and if so, how do you feel about that)? Are you open to the idea of raising your children together and potentially growing a bigger family with not just more children by yourself, but your cousin too? How well do you know your cousin and do you speak often?
These also all very important things to think about.
I’m glad you have a lot of support. I am praying that you get the justice that you deserve❤️
Your family tried to welcome her in and she threw it back in all of your faces, so you're breaking up with her. I suspect your Mum will respect that more than you think.
She might still give you a bit of earache because lol parents, but she'll get over it
Better luck in your next relationship – hope you find someone who treats you right
She isn’t going to quit until the consequences become too much for her to stand. What consequences is she facing now? For all the fighting and other problems, you’re still around. No consequences there.
The three years you’ve invested in the relationship are in the past. You’re not getting them back regardless of whether she gets sober. So take them out of your decision making process. All that matters is whether there’s a realistic chance that she stops drinking. And in that question: See above.
Know what’s worse than giving up on a relationship after 3 years? Giving up after 4 or 5 or 7 or 15 and knowing you should have given up after 4.
That’s rape and he’s complicit
Supporting your friends can mean encouraging them to do the right thing for them. Friends aren’t therapists – that’s above the paygrade. I do wish people would recognise this more, there are limits as to how much we can help our friends, the best we can do is point the in the right direction and give them baby steps.
Seen too many friendships breakdown because the friend was tired of playing “therapist” which they should never have done in the first place.
I think he Can be civil by ignoring her attempts to discuss, responding or even speaking about it to her and essentially ignoring any mention of it. How drunk was she? Are her flat mates guys? Does she have girlfriends? Beware girls that have all guy friends with maybe some rare exceptions.
Hmm.. It's naked to really give you advice on whether your feelings are irrational or not without clear examples. If something specific she's doing bothers you I think you should discuss it with her though.
My parents are in a very similar situation as yours. My parents both lost a parent to illness not long before meeting and eventually got married. Not long after that my dad’s mother and my mom’s father began to go on dates and really liked each other’s company. My two grandparents got married and although it rarely causes issues, mom felt like her MIL favored dad more.
My parents eventually divorced after 29 years together and my grandparents are still together going strong. Somehow my grandparents have managed to stay in neutral territory and stay in good terms with everyone. Mom is living with her girlfriend now and dad got remarried, and are both happier than they had been for years.
If everyone is going strong and happy, I don’t think you have to worry about anything. But things can get complicated real quick if you or your parents don’t work out.
It doesn't sound like she wants to put in any work for it
Thank you. For all that is worth, I think she is contrite and wants to “fix things”. Or maybe she is just that way because she was caught.
Mate, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your opinion doesn't qualify if it's wrong.
You're literally not keeping pace with what you're saying – if my buddy in a bar gets slapped, and then somebody assists them to their feet to another and renders aid to them, then the threat is gone.
Anything after the fact is retaliation, especially if you cause an injury. Is a slap porportiabte to an arm break? Lmfao, there's you answer. You can claim it but you're gonna lose.
I didn’t say I think it was disproportionate. I said “maybe” and “it might have been”.
Do you hear yourself? Imagine being on trial and watching your lawyer defend you like this ??
Mate, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your opinion doesn't qualify if it's wrong.
You're literally not keeping pace with what you're saying – if my buddy in a bar gets slapped, and then somebody assists them to their feet to another and renders aid to them, then the threat is gone.
Anything after the fact is retaliation, especially if you cause an injury. Is a slap porportiabte to an arm break? Lmfao, there's you answer. You can claim it but you're gonna lose.
I didn’t say I think it was disproportionate. I said “maybe” and “it might have been”.
Do you hear yourself? Imagine being on trial and watching your lawyer defend you like this ??
Wdym “Is truth important to them?” Of course it is. The foundation of any relationship is trust.
i love this perspective. thank you for the kind words ?? situations like this feel weird but everything you said i agree with, very logical. have an awesome day ☀️
You’re right, i was confident but after being in a relationship i just kinda want to hear from him some compliments, i don’t wanna depend on him but still 🙁 I’ll try to talk to him about this directly, i hope he understands Thank you though ?
I’d agree if she didn’t whisper it while they were falling asleep. Telling your partner something so major should be done in the context of, “I have something I need to tell you, let’s sit for a conversation.” Not something you murmur in their ear when you’re cuddling in bed. That’s a big bomb to drop so casually.
Whatever happens between the ex and his fiancee is their business. OP isn't forcing him into anything; she's simply letting him know that he is responsible for procreating a person who will exist in the same vicinity as him. Whether he wants to be involved or not is his choice. He has every right to know his child and vice versa. It's pathetic to want a child to miss out on having a father for the sake of the fiancee’s feelings.
But they don't even show OP respect. That is where I feel for the guy. If the kids want nothing to do with him, then he should fulfill that by stepping out fully.
Your time is valuable and at the risk shes not over her ex. Start focusing on other things. The trip should help you take your mind off of stuff so absolutely don't let a few week fling affect it negatively. You deserve to have a good time.
Yeah maybe when you want before the trip, or after whichever you prefer, shoot a text gauging the situation lightly. If she ghosts I wouldn't worry about her and just go have fun, write it off as something that just wasn't meant to be and get back out there in due time.
If she responds but there just no indication that she wants to pick things up with you. I'd again, move on anyways. If she wants to pursue anything she can see if you're available later, but if youre stuck waiting for her indefinitely thats just a burden.
Exactly my thoughts. If he’s correct then she’s literally trying to destroy his marriage, as such he should be PISSED. She’s trying to cause his poor wife undue suffering and tear his family apart. She doesn’t deserve to be “let down easy” And fuck her feelings.
Yeah, it’s almost like this post is an embarrassingly clumsy and transparent attempt to make that alleged point, isn’t it?
I mean.. open poly relationships aside, who the heck would be okay with this?
As naked as it to believe that is exactly what has happened. I gave this relationship my absolute all and to just have it thrown back in my face out of nowhere is just baffling to me
Nobody should sleep with someone who premeditatedly tried to rape them. Ever for any reason.
Doing so is a BAD decision. Telling her this is not to make her feel bad. It’s to inform and empower.
If she DOES now sleep with him and gets pregnant, she SHOULD feel bad for creating a helpless child with an abuser. As a child of a woman who stayed with an abuser, there is no excuse for voluntarily staying with an abuser.
Sounds like she didn't do a good job in describing I'm her original post that she sees masturbating to porn as cheating which I feel is more the issue at hand then him actually masturbating. It wasn't described well at all but after reading their responses to others it's clear that she is feeling cheated on by his use of porn.
If op reads this I would suggest maybe making a post in this subreddit that is looking to discuss talking to your partner about the use of porn being cheating to you.
I understand. You got me lmao. I am not fine with this whole “work wife/husband” thing but that's just my personal opinion. I am not concerned with what others do with their lives. People who think like this should date people who are also okay with it. So yeah you're right. I'll talk to her about it.
Before we got engaged he told me he was going to learn and just needed some time. Well, time has passed and now he says my language is too naked and he just can't do it. But he never really tried. I guess I just wanted to believe him but it's getting harder and harder when it seems like his plan is to stall me till I give up 🙁
Because she fucking told you to
This is completely unhinged on your part.
Break up with her for her own sake. You are exhibiting behavior that strongly indicates either serious mental illness or other unresolved issues that are effecting your ability to act like a rational adult.
I say this not as an insult, but from a place of serious concern.
I think she should have apologized. At 33yo she knows better she dropped the ball.
Now you know why she's single.
I think a ski trip over a long weekend is a big deal and a real treat (without the propsal).
I'm surprised you didn't tell her to stay home. She basically missed the trip.
Maybe she was legit busy, or a poor planner , or just lives in her own head.
You be the judge. At 33yo I would not cut her any slack.
My husband and I split everything and this wouldn't be OK in either of our books. You laid down your boundary and he isn't a fully contributing partner, why exactly you keeping someone around you that likes to disrespect you? And he has money to go out but not to help with rent?
Yeah I didn’t know whether to double text or not! But you’re right, I’ve got nothing to lose. Thank you for taking the time to reply! I appreciate it. ?
it is litterally BDSM. a BDSM he did not warn about and that you didn't consent on base of relevant informations. you may consider it as sexual assault.
go on therapy before the PTS kick on.
he may cry on you trust because he broke it definitively.
This is her mom, so it’s up to Amy to deal with.
That said, is this relationship worth going back to? It was rocky for its entirety, and she spread rumors about you that could have impacted your livelihood. Is she someone you can trust and build a relationship with?
Yeah, ppl often learn their partners are dumpster fires when they get a chronic illness. She’s seeing the real you and she’s not impressed.
Even if you do come out to them and they die, that is not your fault or responsibility.
Ya, just to see what she has to say for herself.
Gotta tell you man. Some ladies are toxic and she's going to fuck you up forever if you don't get clear of her.
Just go and don't look back, she's got issues.
Dump her, kick her out and block her
She wants to be 2ith other people and know you'll always be there
And some rentals include everything in rent. My gas, water, electric, and trash are all included in my rent, though I think that’s more uncommon
On one hand I hear that you can't envision anyone else, but yet want your freedom. You feel like it would take a bunch of changes and compromises on your part to make it all work. I think that is worth reflecting on.
We can love someone, and struggle to think of ourselves with anyone else, while knowing that it is not the right fit for us at the end of the day.
Don’t open the relationship. However, it’s very common for young people to question if they’re happy without knowing more about what’s out there and wanting to explore. It’s probably better to break up and go explore freely rather than doing an open relationship for bad reasons.
Cigars, whiskey steak but if that is not something he will enjoy you could opt in for any hobbies that he has.
I know a waxer. The getting naked part is unfortunately normal. Going and jacking off in the bathroom if the wax place is deeply disturbing. We, the internet, are disturbed. I can only imagine how your wife feels. You owe her big time. Apologize and maybe try flogging in the bedroom?
I know a waxer. The getting naked part is unfortunately normal. Going and jacking off in the bathroom if the wax place is deeply disturbing. We, the internet, are disturbed. I can only imagine how your wife feels. You owe her big time. Apologize and maybe try flogging in the bedroom?
Good grief. His own MOTHER warned you off him, and you didn’t listen. He kept you a secret from his ex bc he wanted the option to be with her.
This is where you break up with him.
Children should have autonomy appropriate for their age. Not every decision needs to be made for them. It's not about being a “cool parent,” it's about not removing the child's choice for them.
Obviously in situations where it is unsafe, or if the child is too young to make a decision, the parent needs to make a decision for them. But most children over the age of 8 have an opinion on their relationships with parents and other relatives. When they become teenagers or adults, they can become very resentful for having that decision taken from them.
Little update, we hung out last night, had a great time, fell asleep and I had a dream that his ex killed me… So when we woke up, I told him, and he asked if I wanted to talk about it, so we did. A little more to why his ex has still lived there for over a year, is that she simply won't leave. He has called the police, she's been arrested and then comes back as soon as she's released from jail. He's called her mom, removed her stuff from the house, changed the locks, and she has still always found a way in. He told me that someone else he was dating did take him up on the offer and called her and that his ex was cordial with the girl on the phone, and that it's only with him that she gets volatile with. I believe what he is saying. The way he says it doesn't sound rehearsed, it sounds like he is truly reliving traumatic events, and I know this because I had a similar ex. My ex would show up at my house no matter how many times I asked for distance, and if I would even give him an inch, like a hug or a kind glance, he would take a mile and think we were back together. Honestly, I'm feeling what he is telling me is truthful, and that he says she is leaving once she gets her car out of the shop. That he has made it extremely clear he hates her, and that's the only reason she's finally leaving. So, we'll see if it happens, but I told him I would like to keep seeing him, but that his situation with the ex is making me uncomfortable and he apologized and said he would understand if I didn't want to be involved. I told him that as long as I'm not in danger, I would like to continue, and he assure me that I wasn't in any danger.
Yeah, I agree with this line of reasoning. Often 1 year is way too early to talk about having kids and maybe she didn’t want to put pressure on him.
Do you get off on being so judgmental when people are asking for advice?
I'm happy to hear it! : )
I thought I was being or at least trying to be amicable
I had cancer as a teenager. I’m almost 25 and haven’t had a recurrence in over 5 years, I’m considered cured. Literally anyone you know can get cancer. There’s a chance YOU get cancer before she does, even. Don’t fixate on it. It’s life.
You say everything you've sacrificed and done is for her. But you forgot the most important thing- asking her if she was good with all that. Is she supposed to be thankful that you “do everything for her” without consulting her? It seems you've done everything for yourself, how you wanted your future to look as a family and not as a couple who makes decisions together. If I was your girlfriend, I would run far away and stay away from your “values”.
Stop doing stuff for him. Break up with him. Cook a meal for just you. Get boxes and start packing up his stuff. Do you get s long with your landlord? Maybe they can help with kicking him out.
5 and 6 are HUGE in my eyes
Find a mature woman
Last weekend.
He could also prove that by simply telling his gf immediately
I did love him very much, but now it seems that was built under false pretenses.. I didn’t know all the details to make an educated choice in what I was doing
It's probably a good idea to stop trying for a little while.
Just because she has been medically cleared, it doesn't mean that her body is physically ready. Her body is still healing, which is why it hurts.
If you keep trying, you run the risk of her associating sex with pain, so in time, she will then have a negative mental association which will be naked to overcome. Don't forget, the mind plays a huge part in arousal for women, so if you create a negative association for her (sex = pain), it could be harder for your sex life to recover in the long run.
So, in the meantime, focus on learning how to be a good father to your baby, and a supportive partner. Take time to maintain intimacy in other ways.
Possibly there could be something immoral around getting more from a charitable organization that has a really thin budget; especially if one took advantage of upper level people not really in the know about their budgets (not horribly uncommon in small enough organizations).
From financial service companies? Puh lease. Nothing at all immoral in this situation.
Because keeping the lines of communication open between you two after a split could have her assuming you are wanting to keep the door open for her to come back. And most women “myself included” would expect you to not immediately start dicking down anything that walks as soon as I'm out the door. Especially if you are keeping me in your life. As well as I would see it as we are just taking a break to reevaluate where we stand and if our minds could be changed on the problem in the relationship. Womens thought process will never make sense. It would have been different if you had cut all contact for a while then reconnected. That would be considered an actual seperation Instead you stayed connected keeping the lines if communication open and keeping that “hope” alive for lack of a better word, of reconciliation. Question. When you broke up the first time, did yall still talk? Or was it completely cut off? Who reached out to whom when yall decided to get back together?
It's because they don't really have a valid reason, they are just being cheap.
Your boyfriend is an insecure child. You might want to date someone with more maturity.
You are telling all this to the wrong people. Your husband saw the best in you for whatever reason. Go tell him right fucking now how much you love and appreciate him, how sorry you are. Yknow that thing in bed he loves but you would really prefer not to do because it’s messy and gets you all sticky? Do that. Tonight.
He’s being a jerk if you stay with him this is the treatment you’re going to get. Clearly, he doesn’t like the fact that you’ve gained weight. And it’s being insulting. I frankly wouldn’t leave. I doubt that you’re gonna talk him out of it.
If he loved you he'd give a shit about you and how you feel. Tell him have fun, keep on them dr. appts. People lie about that shit. Then go get a man that knows a Goddess when he sees one!
Damn, I was gonna say d-pic, but now I feel bad…
What exactly is your wife inviting them too and with how much notice?
If it’s an “invitation” to babysit, no wonder. Hire a sitter. It’s not your parents’ job.
If it’s for another activity/dinner/whatever….perhaps they really are busy? ?♀️ My dad and step mom are retired and they’ve always got stuff going on. They take classes, meet with friends, take trips, go to the gym, whatever. Just because your parents are retired doesn’t mean they’re obligated to spend time with you guys.
Or perhaps they don’t particularly like how your kids behave or how you and your wife parent.
I think your wife is being ridiculous and owes your mother an apology.
You two decided to have kids. That doesn’t obligate anyone else to be present. And from personal experience, kids can have a nice relationship with grandparents they only see maybe a few weeks per year.
RUN, DON’T WALK
You don't assert your dominance over a cat. That's a dog thing.
You and your guy should take the cat to a vet together and bring all its behavioral issues with you written out as a list. It's possible that some kitty valium, or kitty prozac, or something, would make this cat more mellow. You might also pick up some tips on managing his behaviors like peeing outside the litter box.
Condoms suggest a hookup rather than long term affair. If pregnancy isn't in the picture, she would have done it to avoid STD.
Yes, you should assume she is cheating, but still do some research. Ask her whether she has lent her car to other people. If the answer is no, you should go for a confrontation, without showing your cards immediately.
You know, rather than asking her about the condom, sit her down and drop the bomb, asking her if she has cheated on you. In case of denial, emphasize (lie), that you could forgive her, but if that is the case you need to know. Only if it is still denial, you tell her why you accuse her of infidelity.
Keep in mind, while trying to get truth out of her lying is absolutely a fair game. Once, you reveal your discovery you can explain it made you think she had a one time fling, that you could consider getting over, but not if you are lied about it, and if she denies you are now starting to doubt her a whole.
Naturally, if at some point on the way, a verifiable explanation is found, you should act accordingly/ For example ,if she has lent her to someone you should focus on that before doing anything else.
Even more naturally, if she confesses a “one time fling” you should still break up. Not just because she has cheated on you and hidden it, but because it could still be a lie (that it was only one time thing).
Those arent friends