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Julia, 22 y.o.
Location: Europe
Room subject: oil on tits [1491 tokens remaining]
To Start on-line video press there
That was 100% your man’s fault. He jumped the gun and almost paid for it and is trying to blame you for it.
It might not be a trap, I would hope it isn’t. That is some duplicitous shit if she set this up to trap you. Seems like there would be easier ways that don’t involve a 3rd party. Threesomes can change a relationship, if you go through with it you need to be hyper aware of your wife’s reaction to seeing certain things and be willing to stop if she Nope’s out. You have to do that while also staying hot and trying to please two women at the same time. Be specific with her on what she is ok with and what she isn’t – like PIV with this other lady… that is the point where I had an experience that went south. But we made it is as a couple, the festivities just stopped and I think we watched Lord of the Rings together. Just remember who your married too in it all, who your going home with so to speak- you got to be able to hold a conversation again.
Even if they were those ages, the fact they both met him in rehab, left against medical advice after 4 days and are now shacking up together still screams this is a fucked up situation.
The fact that she can't even legally drink yet and he's middle aged is just the cherry on this shit-sundae.
You don't need to say anything now. If he approaches you at some point wanting to do something friendly, you can clarify that you have had time to think more about it, and that you don't really want to be friends with him anymore.
Career over love. Secure your future first.
Sweetie. Pick med school. Another boy will come along later when you have time for him, but med school won’t still be an option in a year or two if you stray from the path and then he cheats, dumps you, etc.
Keep your focus. If he’s the one, he’ll tough it out. If he doesn’t, he wasn’t worth your dreams anyway.
You are 21, at that age career > relationship. If your bf and you are meant to be, he'll be supportive and at least try long distance.
There are a lot of factors at play. Men and women have sex drives that do change over time. As women get older, their sex drive goes higher in certain cases. Men, as they age, theirs goes down. Some may be right. He may no longer have that interest, red flags, and so on. Psychology he may be dealing with things that may be lowering his sex drive. So many things can be at play here. It all depends on what is really going on. Is he willing to go to couples counseling? Are you willing to go? Is he facing more challenging stress that may be another issue going on? I'm not taking any sides. Are you on a biological time clock? Does he view intelligence as a turn-on? Are you the same?
Yes. When I got obsessive over my birth father.
She needs to get a grip she’s too old to be acting like that
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So his attitude isn’t really one of a religious person, unless he’s from some strict cult or something, while the service itself might be somber, then reception afterwards is often filled with conversation, especially people catching up, retelling stories about the deceased etc.
But as for your issues with your ‘friend’ that is giving you anxiety…. Why would you text them after a funeral? I’m sorry but that seems to be the height of stupidity.
Why add to an already emotional day more stress by doing that?
And as for him saying he’s tired of the situation – how long have you been dealing with this? Because if you are constantly texting this ‘friend’ causing yourself anxiety, and it’s been any length of time, I think most people would be tired of it, you deserve support for your anxiety, but if you are causing it yourself then that support has a finite supply, and lessens every time you cause your anxiety.
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OP’s comments all seem to be legitimate concerns about her life style, her drinking, her depression and genuinely seeming to want to understand how to communicate with her. Maybe he’s saying the wrong things but that’s why you go on the net; to figure out the right things to say. Picking at her at the gym could be mean anything, but OP seems to care about fitness, maybe she got offended at him giving her advice? Maybe he gave that advice in a shitty way?
No man WANTS to bring up their partners weight, as I am sure no woman WANTS to bring up their partners smell, or teeth, or hair, or whatever. Maybe OP is worried about her figure, and whether or not he still finds her attractive, but he certainly hasn’t spent much time on that… Unless he’s been deleting comments or I missed something.
I also really don’t get this whole “human concept of right and wrong.” Like we murder people…regularly….and not even for food or out of threat of harm to ourselves. Like how is that comparison even useful here lol
It’s not a current issue oh my God yes I did post 27 days ago but I didn’t lose my place
Your right
It sucks because we have tons of chemistry and attraction towards one another and I do love her very much.
Move to where you want to live. It may not feel like it now but you will meet other people. And you will find other people that you have amazing chemistry with and deep love for them.
You two are not compatible. If you stay you'll resent her, if she goes she'll resent you. It will hurt now, but it would hurt much worse 5, 10, 20 years from now.
I’m confused… knowing what a douche is doesn’t seem like a strange thing to me nor does it seem “creepy” that he learned about it in middle school…
This sounds like someone out of touch with reality
Dear god, I thought this was a 15 yr old writing this. Grow up.
The only advice you need OP.
Dodge that bullet.
She’s not the one. She clearly has mental issues and projects some insane stuff on you.
There are so many other people in this world. Later you’ll think back on this episode in your life and be so glad you stopped this relationship.
It can hurt, no doubt, but let it go.
Most of the time when you hear that “street smart” bullshit it's someone jealous of a person with an actual education trying to neg them. That's exactly what it is..bullshit.
You absolutely leave. SHE is the one that threw 6 years down the drain . Get an STD check and move out. Move in with family or friends. Get away from this toxic woman like yesterday
So are you a sex pillow or something? He love your body to have sex with but we does not love you? This is not love. He lists after your body so he can get some satisfaction from it. But he doesn’t love you as a person. Love yourself enough to leave him. You’re too young to saddle yourself with this type of person.
I was gonna mention the convo in my post but the keyboard was lagging and I felt it was getting too long so I summarized by saying “I’ve made it clear”
I see a psychologist regularly, he never would. He doesn’t think he has anything wrong with him. He KNOWS he’s emotionally avoidant and has said ‘I hate emotions’ on several occasions.
I just don’t know how much longer I can not hear it, it’s been a year and a half. I’ve been patient, understanding, but it’s really hurting me now.
His mates even teased him over it at a bachelor party he attended. He laughed about it to me and I thought that’d be the final push he needs. 6 weeks later 0 still.
Lol well it certainly added to the list of things that bothered me.
I have had a threesome and it was great, but based on your post my advice is dont do it
Sorry you are going through this. It does sound like she has an alcohol problem & does need to seek help.
I say step one is to talk to her about it, be straight forward, people in peril like this are usually battling something. If I had to guess, I'd say she is severely depressed & it is hot to deal with.
You just have to do the tough thing. Sometimes that means, ending the relationship to focus on healing yourself, be prepared for that to be step 2.
Stay strong OP. Confronting the problem head on is a must if there is any hope for recovery.
Shame on you. You're literally dodging and avoiding and doing everything possible to not reveal what you said.
It must have been absolutely awful for your friends to want nothing left to do with you. But the fact that you go to such great lengths to control the narrative and hide crucial information make you seems EXHAUSTING to be around.
My guess is that you want validation that your friends are crazy but you really are awful to be around and really did say something completely fucked up and deserve to be kicked out.
Will imagine how many girls go thru the same pain, the guy is either married or have a girlfriend and you say you won’t trust a woman again. Will there are men and women who are equally awful like this. Anyway , please tell her husband and run.
I hate women who manipulate via fake pregnancies. It's incredibly unlikely she's pregnant, but still doesn't bother with a test or time to tell, and uses it as an excuse to be an abusive c. Is she also really verbally aggressive to the kids if she's in a bad mood?
Get a lawyer and start taking action, don't let her near the kids unless she deals with her violent outbursts first with the help og a therapist.
I witnessed my mum and dad hitting each other when I was very young. One of the many reasons I’m a fucking mess now. Don’t stay.
Yea getting shoved and punched in the face is a red flag.
He's TRIED to talk to her; she just walks away!
What should he do – tie her to a chair to keep her in the room so she listens to him ? Drag her kicking and screaming to a marriage therapist or inpatient treatment?
He's ASKING for advice!
?♀️
Healthy relationships don't work by comparing the good and the bad. They work based on when issues are identified, the two of you work as a team to sustainably remediate them. Now, it's great that he's now made a plan, but where has this been over 9 years? Also, is the plan actually feasible?
Either way, you said you made your decision. You've already broken up with him. You just need to be firm in this, and focus only on how to handle your living situation. You need to stop worrying about being mean; you're not mean. “I'm done. We've had 9 years to work on this and we haven't. I can't do this anymore.” The end. Good luck.
Obviously there’s issues concerning you and seeing you 2 alone on the balcony was the “straw that broke the camel’s back” and was a catalyst for needing to completely cut you out. It sucks. It’s life. Get over it.
Okay, I'm going to have to shout this:
HE IS A POS. HE IS NOT NICE. HE IS FAR PAST CREEP.
Nothing about this is good in any way whatsoever. I don't know if reporting your supervisor to HR would not end in backlash. It seems the whole environment you're soaking in is nothing but a toilet of misogyny. You may need to just pack you desk ASAP and get out.
Idk man. I have trouble buying this. I think you are concerned that she will cheat. And that's okay.
She's being shady here. Defensive. She isn't acting how a reasonable and loving wife would normally act here.
If you're uncomfortable, she will talk to you about why. Not blow up at you and avoid you.
I trust my wife 10 thousand percent. If she did what you're describing, I'd be paranoid, and I'd want some assurances. My wife would understand that, though.
How would she feel about YOU staying with her at the hotel downtown? A fancy hotel room, hotel sex, breakfast in the hotel in the morning…would she like that?
My company, too, had international conferences. We'd book hotel rooms for a couple of us who had to co-ordinate the conference so we weren't driving home at ungodly hours (pre-Uber days). I would invite my husband and pre-schooler to join me in the swanky hotel IF they wanted to! Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But that might relieve you of your worry and let your wife enjoy the company party in a safe manner.
I don’t care about the law when I’m talking about ethics. The two has little to do with each other.
Good one to support your partner, but it's risky. I think there is a subreddit about open relationships you should them. They would have a better understanding of what you want to do.