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Johnny Backer, 19 y.o.
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I do want to have a talk with him about that but I’m worried that he’s going to think that I don’t love him. I also feel like if he’s gonna think I don’t love him just because it’s not unconditional then I don’t want to be with him anymore because to be honest the last couple months have been draining me and feeling like I’m walking on eggshells.
Have fun being single ?
Life lesson, there is almost never any going back
There will of course be the odd exception, but most of the time, it's done
Controlling assholes tend to only get more controlling over time
Not everyone can afford one lol, and if it doesn’t take long to go to bus/train stations it shouldn’t be a problem
it's good that you did that is the first line of defense. Your mom may not realise it but you did that dude has nothing good planned… Involve at least the school counselor asap he cannot tell your mom unless you want him to.
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Be happy the trash took itself out.
Imagine if you had realized earlier that you needed out and were the one to pull the plug. Her reaction would not be pretty and be drama filled extravaganza possibly including others.
I believe right now she is pulling a power move in anticipation of you begging for another chance.
Block now, so that you won't have to deal with her further.
you can't be serious.
I'm not suggesting that he was “looking”.
Hi, what advice?
Yup! Came here to say the same thing
Two things. Many young men are not thoughtful. I will make this generalization and you can fuck off if you disagree. We are not socialized to be thoughtful and generally less is expected of men than women in almost every area of life except making money and physical labor and even that is mostly changed.
This young guy sounds especially callous though. Your last BF seems to have been more thoughtful by your implication.
Two things you can do:. Tell him exactly what you expect and what you'd like to be treated like. After that is up to him to be thoughtful and to remember to try to think of your needs and feelings. If you have to keep asking him, then maybe try thing two
Dump him, you deserve better. The situation will not improve anytime soon. He's not interested in changing it, not really.
I'm not sure as far as your rental agreement. But yeah, I think buddy needs to find a way to deal. If she is smashing things around though, maybe try to talk to her nicely again.
Time to get out. When a relationship turns abusive you need to protect yourself. Just pack up, and go. It's no longer about the lack of intimacy. This is now about your safety.
From my understanding- you have just as much privacy in a poly relationship as a monogamous relationship. In a poly relationship, you have to be open and honest when adding another person. Can be cheated on just as easily in a poly relationship as you can in a monogamous relationship – from people not being honest with each other. Just because you are open to having multiple partners involved doesnt mean you can just lie about who your partnering up with/leave out the detail that you've found someone else you'd also like to be with. The poly people ive spoken to are always upfront and honest that this is the type of relationships they are interested in so that if you arent alright being in that type of relationship you are free to walk away – and their open and honest with their other partners and their other partners know everything but everyone is still entitled to their privacy. Anyway, just because their sharing a sim card doesn't mean their poly, it could just be easier for them. Im not sure why its bothering you or why you find it weird – you aren't involved in their relationship or their household – if you have nothing to hide, then it shouldn't bother you. My husband and i dont share a sim card, but we regularly use each others phone and therefore can see whatever messages happen to pop up without being weird over it. I dont really warn people that my husband can see whatever their saying cause odds are i end up discussing certain things with him anyway. However it does make me wonder why hes essentially warning you that his fiance can see whatever messages you guys have/how many other people hes warned over the same thing – its like saying “dont say/send anything bad because soon to be wifey can see everything” and if theres nothing to hide, then whats the point in saying it? ~ i have no idea how sharing a sim card actually works, but whatever is saved on it, im assuming transfers to whatever other device it goes into~ and you can save contacts/messages/emails/etc to them.
Maybe just lay it out and tell him you can see what’s going on and your friend has said xyz. Tell him to really think very hot about his feelings 5 years and 10 years from now because separating now is much cheaper than divorcing later on.
You should think about this too. Assume the worst (that they will always act this way) and see how you think you will feel in the future.
I hope it’s not the case but dude suggesting she live! with you is absurd and cannot happen because they are definitely attracted to each other.
Getting std is serious s issue for you than she getting pregnant
And if not, for the ladies or anyone who been in a similar spot, what r the best things you could hear someone say that isn't pushy but that would've reassured you more?
Absolutely not. We are not giving you advice on how to manipulate your girlfriend into participating in a sexual experience she won’t enthusiastically consent to. And platitudes about “boundaries” don’t change the fact that you’re a sex pest and dangerously close to becoming an abuser.
You could get up at 8 and do some fucking housework….but I bet you are up late playing video games….
it’s not really a “secret child” though. I’d agree if op knew about this kid’s existence and hid it from his wife. That’d be an instant dealbreaker. But he didn’t know he had a kid out there any better than she did.
Right she didn't said that but she didn't say that it's okay that he cum in her either… He had no consent to do that
That's not what that means at all. You're demanding she gives up something she's likely dreamed about since she was a child in order to be your wife. That's pretty shitty of you. It's also shitty of you to twist her words when she literally never said “she wants to be a bride, not a wife”.
Girl, go to school 2 hours away!
Yeah people on reddit put up with too much bs. She got this man wrapped around her finger lol
also, I replied to the full comment. I’m not familiar with using this style of forums (meaning I don’t really do live! forums at all) so I didn’t actually comment on the reply. Apologies.