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Languages: en,ru
Birth Date: 2002-03-31
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Yeah, they are way too far into each other's business for only being together a few months.
Like she says they were great at first… A couple of months in is still “at first”
Good. I was banned from the old Tinder. ?
If he had it for months he wouldn't just randomly move it on the door for no reason, most likely a girl was over recently. Also his first instinct was to lie when you clearly seen what it was. Him messing up this early doesnt bode well for a relationship, it's best to move on before you get invested.
We can argue back and forth all day about how prevalent this sort of behaviour is among men: no, this is not something all men engage in, but yes, some men do, some men grow out of it after they reach a certain age or are in a relationship, and some will go to their graves thinking this is perfectly acceptable behaviour even when in a relationship. But that's not the crucial question. The crucial question is, do you want to be with a man who belongs in the last group?
Imagine the sexes reversed. And imagine the woman posting here that she froze up when he started giving oral and she never said yes, or no, but that he didn’t get her consent before proceeding. Then she felt violated by her boyfriend after the fact. What would the reaction of the group here be? I think it would be drastically different. It would be filled with comments about how should have gotten her enthusiastic consent before proceeding. That not saying no isn’t the same as her saying yes.
This. It sounds cruel but it's true.
You don't have to decide how or when you're gonna forgive him, if you do.
Let him know that you'll be leaving; your kids need a role model. Get supervised visitation for their dad and make sure therapy is a mandatory part of that visitation.
Maybe he has a mental illness, maybe he's scum. Fact is that you don't have to be there for the process, only the conclusion.
If it turns out that in the long run things are worth patching up, at least you didn't lose any sleep over it. Wash yourself from the shame, make sure your kids don't get associated with what your husband did and on-line a happy life.
I feel for the victim, but it's his victim, his problem to feel bad about. You don't need to have any empathy beyond the empathy you have for any victim. You were responsible for being a team with your partner. He disqualified himself from the team when he did what he did. Anything after that has nothing to do with you. Do not act like/believe you victimised this woman.