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Why are you afraid of confronting bad behavior? This is a “friend” sending invitations to your husband to cheat with her. The only thing stopping her is because your husband isnt interested.
This is a betrayal of trust.
Cut her off, you dont even need to confront her.
The fact that one is going to die sooner than later messes with a person. Women & Men go through these things at different times in life. Sometimes one doesn’t experience it at all. He may be going through that as well. Not sure though. I would suggest a good bone argumentative conversation between the both of you. Something changed that is apparent from your description. Be aware though some of the changes might be subtle thing that have changed within your self that you may not have noticed. Just things to ponder. I hope all is well between the two of you in the future.
P.S. Sometimes thinking outside of the box ? can be very helpful in life.
What I'm upset about is that she would say that completely unasked, especially after I try my very best to help her through her sexual trauma by being incredibly patient, supportive, never demanding in the slightest, and bearing with a lot of internal frustration that I never, ever put onto her.
Sorry, but I have a rule about working through someone's trauma with them.
Don't.
……….
I could understand if she were putting in work to make sure you're happy and fulfilled in the relationship, but that's doesn't seem to be the case.
She is already giving you indicators that she doesn't appreciate you in the way you want, and your efforts aren't making her more attracted to you at all. You're a FWB, but light on the benefits.
Why accept that?
he yells when he doesn't feel understood or feels like I'm treating him like his opinions are invalid and stupid
If this is true, google demand withdrawal cycle. You both have coping mechanisms that trigger the others coping mechanisms. His frustration triggers you to withdraw, your withdrawal triggers his frustration. As the cycle continues both behaviors escalate and both can begin to feel hurtful if not abusive to the other. It’s a difficult cycle to break without therapy. And it often takes both sides to do a lot of work to fix it. For both your emotional safety it might be better to break up, and you find someone who doesn’t get angry when triggered, and him find someone who doesn’t withdraw when triggered.
And what qualifications does he have to make such judgement? Dude pulled that number out of a hat just like 90% of quoted statistics.
Not really just wanted to talk about it cos I know some people take longer
Seems like she is using you as a punching bag for her other problems. Do you want to be a punching bag for other people's problems?
No, it's not acceptable and she doesn't really seem very regretful about it.
And no, she can't just demand a shy person to be more outgoing. That's not how it works.
That you know of*
You owe it to him to tell him, you may end up paying the rent alone however.
I wouldn’t let her move in. She’s not moving in for the right reasons and you might struggle to get her to leave if things go south, which based on how you’re describing her, is likely. Enjoy your new home alone.
Especially because he doesn’t HAVE to move. It’s 100% voluntary. He works for himself so he’s not moving for a job or a school. He’d be choosing leaving where he is and putting “his one” in a very vulnerable position simply because he’s tired of where he lives. If he truly thinks she’s the one – three years isn’t much for him to delay his unneeded and fully voluntary move.
You need to get out of that relationship, get help with your drinking, and enroll in therapy for sexual abuse.
What does she like physically? You have lots of what she doesn’t want.
Beyond a conversation what does she do to excite herself? Has she ever experienced it? Ask her.
What I don't understand is… I agree telling the gf to “be quiet” is weird…but need more context on why: was she speaking loud? Or did you just not like what she was saying? The gf pushing the sleeping girl is very weird too. She could have tapped her shoulder, etc it's not really appropriate to shove someone like how it was explained in the story…. However, the screaming and crying at the house should be the bit where the gf is explaining her emotions, thus letting the Op understand. Was she screaming and crying about the stranger danger? Or screaming and crying about being told to be quiet? All in all, a weird situation and it seems a really great dinner was ruined by 2 people not communicating well while the other was sleeping.
I’m rooting for you champ. Go out there, have fun, be safe.
It's not weird. It just was not explained in full detail. The boundary usually means no guy friends after the relationship has started. Any guys friends she has had previously and introduced him too is fair game.
They may be fixable, but he doesn't want to fix them.
he is asking for my forgiveness to help in his recovery to become a better husband and dad.
Well, him being a better husband and dad are definitely NOT your job. That's his. He framed his apology as centered on his needs.
3rd option from the two you describe. I would discuss with your therapist and if you wanted to tell him (edit in a letter) you still have scars physically and mentally from his abuse, and the apology means little to you given it is predicated on his needs. If he wants to do the right thing by you he will respect your wishes and never contact you again.
At least that way you get to speak up for yourself in a way you never did. And, maybe, get the last word. It's not petty, it's actually pretty self-affirming to tell an old bully to fuck off.
This is the most American thing to do, be wrong about something and still have the audacity to correct others about it.
I'd start telling him “no you are using the low class uneducated pronunciation”. Rinse repeat till you dump his ass.
No, they seem to be describing OP's partner – they asked for a link to the Seinfeld clip, so I'm assuming they haven't seen it.
You mean, he mouthed off her in bed.
To be fair, (1) If you are at the point where you are asking random fucking strangers on the internet their opinions about your personal relationship, you probably should break up (2) Majority of the posts on this subreddit are usually like: “Guys my (18F) boyfriend (64M) constantly cheats and emotionally abused me, should I break up with him?” (3) Most people on reddit and in general, even though they act like it, don’t have the best relationship and interpersonal skills.
Other fights that came up in mind now are caused by misunderstanding of tones or what the other is trying to say and for some reason we read only the bad way to read it.
Why are comments being deleted?
i really just needed some outside confirmation that we’re doing the right thing more than anything
A lot of people.. most people tell the truth of what they think of us in anger… he meant what he said. Be prepared for the love bombing to commence
He asked her she said no cause she already took off work before.