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jen and chris, 36 y.o.
Location: Maine, United States
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Definitely do not lie to her. If it were me, I’d be fine with my BF going to a concert with female friends IF there were other people going (which there is) but I guess it’s not really about whether the behavior is ok, it’s more about what she’s comfortable with and respecting that. You can sell concert tickets and usually make money having bought them so far in advance, so the cost of the tickets shouldn’t be an excuse. If this is a concert you are super excited about and a band you’ve always wanted to see perform etc, I totally understand that. But the way the question is worded with “is my gf acting insecure” and “should i not tell her” raises some problems. Yeah maybe your GF is insecure. As her BF you should want to reassure, respect, and support her feelings no matter what. If she’s insecure about your relationship you should work on that together. It should definitely not be first instinct (or on your mind at all) to lie to her to get your way.
“Let yourself get hit” just as much as I imagine you’d willingly jump into a vat of acid.
okay now that’s not something i’m comfortable with, explicit consent is very important to both me and my boyfriend and like i said i’m not going to do anything he isn’t comfortable with. I would also never try to initiate anything if he was drunk or buzzed because that isn’t full consent to me you know?
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What a horrible thing to do to your wife.
He’s not the one. Good time to move on.
You keep talking about time passing and bumpy roads and recovering from tough relationship spots like this is a years long marriage but… this is a dude you’ve known but not been dating for 4 months?
You guys aren’t together. You honestly don’t even sound like friends. There’s nothing to “heal” from because nothing has ever been invested, although that’s hard to tell with all of the intentionally vague “incidents” you two have gone through. From your other post, it sounds like there’s a pattern where something minor happens (like you finding out he has an ex), you block him without talking to him, he gets you a gift, and then y’all start texting again. Or you like him, he asks if you do, you lie and say no, then get upset with his reaction to your lie. That’s not a relationship. That’s just two incompatible strangers who continuously keep reaching out, failing to communicate, misunderstanding the situation without attempting to work through it, and then ignoring the fallout.
Honestly, I vote leaving him alone. Two people who have dealt with this much interpersonal conflict after 4 months of being “friends” are not meant to be – your story is full of vague fights and unclear drama without a single semblance of a relationship to make it make sense. Neither of you seem willing to be honest or trust the other; there’s multiple instances of both parties not telling each other what they really want or expect. Y’all are giving each other the worst parts of relationships without ever seeming to want the good parts. You’re clearly not compatible, and that’s no one’s fault, but it’s time to let it go.
Dude just block her so there won’t be a next time.