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Jay, y.o.
Location: Texas, United States
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You proposed to the illusion of a person. I'd say it's null and void when it's based on dishonesty and a lie.
Now it's your choice to go forward but I'd call off the engagement if it was me. If you guys can rebuild to that point again great but that's a huge broken trust to rebuild.
I would almost text him what you say here. I would say “hey sorry I didnt mean to wake you up and put that on you. I was just having a bad night and wanted to hear your voice but I'll be more respectful next time”
I was with someone like this. I also think you should be more considerate of his life. You framed the question about how you were worried it would hurt his perception of you. But do you feel guilty at all about waking him up in the middle of the night? Or putting emotional stress on him? I'm not saying these are the end of the world but I was with someone like this and I wanted to support her but it was very draining at the same time.
Save money wrap a stack of papers and tell her it's an album of all the memories you'll ever have but if she unwraps it they will disappear forever…
Pictures in frames are a fantastic gift if you can find a picture she doesn't have of the 2 of you or a picture of her doing something when you are there.
I totally understand that.